General Questions

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
idk anymore
not a newbie
Posts: 78
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2020 7:22 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I have a pretty good sense of humor
My primary language: English
My pronouns: He/Him
My sexual identity and orientation: Pan, mostly
Location: Epping, NH

General Questions

Unread postby idk anymore » Sun Jan 03, 2021 12:19 pm

So, me and my friend have recently agreed on a friend's with benefits relationship. We are just going to sext until Covid is over, but after that, were hoping to go all out. I'm a virgin and I know nothing about much of this, could you answer a few if my questions? I know you cant give me a perfect answer that will fit all scenarios, but could you tell me what is likely or common?

1. What should I expect? What's it going to be like when we start? What's it gonna be like while we're doing it? What about after?

2. Is it even legal for two people under the age of 16 to have sex? I think I live in a Romeo and Juliet state. I looked that up and it says I can do anything short of penetration. What exactly does that mean? Can I just not put my penis into her vagina? What if I want to?

3. If she comes before I do, will she want to keep going?

4. She said, and I quote, "if we do vanilla, I'll vomit. at least grab my hair." What does that mean?

I'm sorry if this is offensive in any way, I'm just really confused and I want this to go well whenever it happens
I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You're not scared. You're an asshole.

~Morgan Freeman

Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 7198
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she/her
My sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: General Questions

Unread postby Sam W » Mon Jan 04, 2021 8:33 am

Hi idk anymore,

In terms of how to navigate a friends with benefits or other casual relationship, this article is a great place to start: Casual...Cool? Making Choices About Casual Sex. If you want a general overview of what to expect from first-time intercourse, this can help you out: First Intercourse 101.

In terms of legality, that all depends on the laws in your state. Heather has a really good breakdown of what those laws often include or exclude, and how to interpret the language in them: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/abus ... at_exactly

As for questions three and four, those are actually things to as her for clarification about. Especially if you're not sure what she means by not wanting "vanilla" sex; terms like "vanilla" and "kinky" can mean so many different things depending on the person that it's helpful to clarify what a partner is including in those definitions so everyone is on the same page.

idk anymore
not a newbie
Posts: 78
Joined: Tue Dec 15, 2020 7:22 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I have a pretty good sense of humor
My primary language: English
My pronouns: He/Him
My sexual identity and orientation: Pan, mostly
Location: Epping, NH

Re: General Questions

Unread postby idk anymore » Mon Jan 04, 2021 9:51 am

Thanks!
I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You're not scared. You're an asshole.

~Morgan Freeman

Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 7198
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she/her
My sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: General Questions

Unread postby Sam W » Mon Jan 04, 2021 10:25 am

You're welcome!


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