So, I jack off from time to time. Much less than I used too, but that's not the point. I've never had any sort of sexual relationship with anyone, ever, something I've really want to change. However, I've come to terms with the fact that that likely won't happen any time soon. So, when I do get off, it feels good, ig, I'm more relaxed, whatever. But it just feels meaningless. Nothing's changed and it all still sucks. Part of me feels that it isn't the sex part that I really want, I can fulfill that myself, mostly, I think, but it's the emotional part. The feeling of closeness and the idea that anyone is comfortable enough with me, to do that with me. Is that normal? What should I do?
I hate the word homophobia. It's not a phobia. You're not scared. You're an asshole.