Is being a virgin attractive?

girlplayer34 · Unread postby **girlplayer34** » Mon Nov 09, 2020 5:38 pm

I have always felt like being a virgin was unattractive mostly because I though no one wanted to be with someone inexperienced. I've been dating this girl for some time now she is cute and funny and confident everything I'm not which is why I don't understand why she wants to even date me but, recently she has been talking about wanting to have sex and she doesn't know I'm a virgin I'm afraid if I tell her its going to be a totally turn off I need help!!!

Unread postby Mo » Mon Nov 09, 2020 6:07 pm

We can't ever speak to what everyone finds attractive, since tastes vary from person to person, but there are plenty of people who don't have any negative feelings about a partner not having had previous sexual partners. There's certainly no guarantee that telling the girl you're dating that you haven't had sex before will be a turnoff to her; she might enjoy the chance to be the first person to be intimate with you in that way.
I think sometimes people will worry that they won't know what they're doing or will otherwise disappoint their partner the first time they're sexual with someone, but if the two of you have sex it'll be her first time having sex with you, just like it'll be your first time with her; both of you will be learning about each other and what you both enjoy. How comfortable do you feel communicating about what you enjoy (or think you might enjoy) sexually with her?

girlplayer34 · Unread postby **girlplayer34** » Tue Nov 17, 2020 9:08 am

I am scared that if I tell her she will be turned off I mean it can happen some people think that taking someones virginity is a huge deal and I don't want her to fell like its her responsibility to make things special even though thats want I want with her something special and romantic but I do't want to put that kind of pressure on her I mean if she feels like this is something she can't handle then I want her to feel comfortable to able to leave it will hurt but I would rather that then for us to play this whole thing put.

Unread postby **Sam W** » Tue Nov 17, 2020 9:15 am

Hi girlplayer34,

It sounds like it might be time for you two to have a check-in about sex in general, both because she's interested in taking things that direction and you have concerns about your own lack of sexual experience. During that conversation, you could bring up the fact you haven't been sexual with another person, and share some of those worries about putting pressure on her to get things right. That way, you two are actually talking about it, rather than you just building up all these "what ifs" in your head. Does that sound like a conversation you two can have?

bazookasos · Unread postby **bazookasos** » Wed Nov 25, 2020 4:01 am

girlplayer34 wrote:I am scared that if I tell her she will be turned off I mean it can happen some people think that taking someones virginity is a huge deal and I don't want her to fell like its her responsibility to make things special even though thats want I want with her something special and romantic but I do't want to put that kind of pressure on her I mean if she feels like this is something she can't handle then I want her to feel comfortable to able to leave it will hurt but I would rather that then for us to play this whole thing put.

I feel that you're overthinking too much. If she's also into you, I'm sure she will understand what you are worried about, you just let her know and I'm sure it will go smooth for both of you. If not, and she turned her back against you, for me, it's not worth your time to be with someone like that.