What you're asking in the last bit is tricky, because it assumes that this is about and because of your trauma. Do *you* feel that it is?
Generally, there's nothing we can do to change what excites us, and often when we do, it only tends to lean in on us more.
I'd encourage you with anything that turns you on and that you might want to make part of your sexual life (so long as its consensual and doesn't do you or anyone any harm, obviously) not to focus on what other people may think or feel about it, but instead to just accept it, and then figure out ways of having it be any part of your sexuality that work for you. Obviously, if and when you want partners to be part of that, they'll need to be into it, too, and you'll need to feel okay about the ways they are, but none of that is insurmountable. You're certainly not the only person into this. <3
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead