I'm trans and I want to masturbate, but dysphoria is not letting me

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
Sky H
not a newbie
Posts: 27
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2020 11:01 pm
Age: 18
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm good at a lot of things
Primary language: English
Pronouns: she/her, they/them
Sexual identity: I don't like to label it, I just do what feels rig
Location: Germany

I'm trans and I want to masturbate, but dysphoria is not letting me

Unread post by Sky H »

So I'm transfeminine and pre everything, and I really want to masturbate, it used to be fun and it felt great before, but my dysphoria about my body worsened recently. Now it is just a really dysphoric experience and it feels awful. Also just having such a strong sex drive makes me dysphoric.

Is there a way I can masturbate that would not make me feel that way?
KurtisC
not a newbie
Posts: 20
Joined: Tue Aug 18, 2020 12:06 pm
Age: 36
Awesomeness Quotient: I'm a neon light artist
Pronouns: he him
Sexual identity: idk i like girls
Location: uk

Re: I'm trans and I want to masturbate, but dysphoria is not letting me

Unread post by KurtisC »

Hi Sky,

I can relate a little to those feelings. One thing I find helps is the naming of body parts in our minds - after all, genitals are pretty much the same thing deep down. Do you think of yours as a clitoris, in your mind?

In terms of masturbation, it may also help to remember that a person with one set of genitals and one with another can actually touch themselves in very similar ways; staying on the outside of the body and rubbing the clitoris in some way - whether some people may call that clitoris a penis or not.
Jacob
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 1056
Joined: Tue Jul 29, 2014 3:33 am
Age: 35
Primary language: English
Pronouns: They
Location: Leeds UK

Re: I'm trans and I want to masturbate, but dysphoria is not letting me

Unread post by Jacob »

Thanks for replying to this Kurtis, that feels like some really good advice.

I'm trying to think about if there's anything I can add. My main thought is to see if there are any general comforts that could lessen the impact of dysphoria, like any reducing outside stressers or improving the environment you're masturbating in so that it feels nice and comfortable and you already feel like youre being good to yourself before you get down to it?
"In between two tall mountains there's a place they call lonesome.
Don't see why they call it lonesome.
I'm never lonesome when I go there." Connie Converse - Talkin' Like You
Heather
scarleteen founder & director
Posts: 9533
Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:43 am
Age: 53
Awesomeness Quotient: I have been a sex educator for over 25 years!
Primary language: english
Pronouns: they/them
Sexual identity: queery-queer-queer
Location: Chicago

Re: I'm trans and I want to masturbate, but dysphoria is not letting me

Unread post by Heather »

Hey, Sky. Sorry you're having a hard time in this arena.

This piece isn't about masturbation, but I wonder if you'd seen it just as far as some good places to start with frameworks for all this?

https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodi ... t_girldick
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead
Post Reply Previous topicNext topic