Hey there, PrimalDespair. I'm sorry that it sounds like you're experiencing your handle at the moment.
I agree with you: a lot of this is about discomfort on the part of older people. I'd add that that discomfort is often based in outright fear. For a lot of adults, even just being involved in kink communities can feel precarious, including because a lot of people assume the worst about people in them. Unfortunately, interacting with young people is often part of that "worst" where it would be assumed something untoward or outright abusive may be going on. I think it's understandable, given the world we live in where, even when there aren't legal consequences, there can still be some big bad outcomes -- custody issues, losing jobs, social discrimination -- but I also understand how you're feeling, too. It's very isolating, and I'm sorry that you feel that so acutely.
We are certainly happy to do what we can as far as giving you information you need and want and are also happy to just talk as you'd like. You can also find some community here: we have other young people who post on the boards who also would be in larger kink communities were it not for their age.
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead