I have a number of issues that are preventing me from having a fulfilling sex life with my boyfriend (of one year). We've made very slow progress over this last year, but recently I feel I've reached a plateau, which is why I've come here looking for help.
I'm a very ticklish person, and he finds it extremely difficult to touch me in certain places (armpits / ribs / hips / inner thighs and between the legs...) I immediately push his hand away when he puts it there. It's improved a bit with time, but we're currently at a distance (we live ~3 hours from each other), and when we meet up again after too much time I'm as sensitive to his touch as I was at the beginning and he literally has to fight me if he wants to touch me in an intimate way.
This problem is compounded by what I would call over-sensitivity of the clitoris. He's already tried to masturbate me several times, but each time I didn't get any pleasure from it, it was just painful for me. He's already performed cunnilingus on me for at least 20 minutes: I tried to relax as much as possible to see if I could get any pleasure from it, but either I was in pain, or I couldn't feel anything because he wasn't touching my clitoris directly but around it.
The problem doesn't stop at the clitoris. I feel very little pleasure when he touches me. It's very unpleasant for me when he touches my nipples (I think I'm particularly sensitive because as soon as he touches them for too long I develop crusts on my nipples...), and the same goes for between my legs. I've always thought it was due to my lack of self-confidence and the fact that I have a very negative view of my appearance. I find it extremely difficult to accept myself in an intimate situation. I've never masturbated, because the whole thing disgusted me, and I've never felt the need to. On the rare occasions when I tried, touching my clitoris hurt, so I stopped. I believe less and less that I could get pleasure from it, so I'm less and less open to trying these sexual experiences again with my boyfriend.
One last thing: he's also tried to penetrate my vagina with his finger, and this too is impossible. It's very unpleasant for me as soon as he runs his finger over my vagina, and as soon as he penetrates just a little, the pain is great and I immediately ask him to stop. I'm probably too tense, but relaxing in these situations is almost impossible for me. Even when I manage to be calm, as soon as I feel his finger there, I immediately tense up. He's already tried to do it very gradually, but even that doesn't work.
All this is preventing me from having a sex life with my boyfriend and it makes him sad that he can't do more with me. He knows it's not his fault, but he inevitably feels a bit bad when he tries to touch me but I react as if I'm in agony... I'd really like to get to the bottom of this situation. Do any of you have any advice or ideas about what's wrong with me?
Thank you very much !