Can’t masturbate

Questions and discussion about your sexual lives, choices, activities, ideas and experiences.
miamoos
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Can’t masturbate

Unread post by miamoos »

I never masturbate (my vagina) as i don’t feel any pleasure from it and i feel so left out as i am now at the age of consent in my country and if i ever get a sexual partner i will never know what makes me feel good :/ i really want to try out a sex toy/vibrator as i feel like that will help me as i have quite short fingers but it will be super embarrassing to buy one… whenever i feel aroused enough to masturbate i just seem to never be horny enough for my clit to feel nice!! please help me 😅
Heather
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Re: Can’t masturbate

Unread post by Heather »

Welcome to the boards, miamoos.

I want to first make sure that you know there is no kind of deadline or expiration date on any of this, nor is this something where you have to do this by the time you get a partner OR ELSE. You always will get to pace things as works for you in your life with sex. So if, for instance, at any point you meet someone and that starts to develop into a sexual partnership, you get to have that go at exactly the pace you need so you can learn your own body and sexuality as you go. You don't have to rush yourself to match someone else's pace or desires or meet some kind of imagined arbitrary timeline based on age or anything else, okay?

Too, you also can learn WITH a partner -- it's not like we can't touch our own bodies with partners. There isn't a rule that when people are together, only partners can touch them and they can't touch themselves, I assure you. People touch themselves with partners all the time.

So. For starters, most people with vulvas and vaginas don't usual center their masturbation on their vagina when it comes to masturbation that's focused on the genitals. When it comes to touch with a genital focus, more people with that anatomy tend to start on the outside -- with the mons and outer labia, then add or move their focus towards the inner labia and the external portions of the clitoris. Then some will also add or shift between all of those places and the vagina and internal parts of the clitoris, and some with the vestibule, perineum and anus. And masturbation doesn't have to be genitally-focused, either, or just focused on genitals. Our whole bodies have sensory nerve endings and parts we can enjoy, after all. You can find out some more here: Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation and here: With Pleasure: A View of Whole Sexual Anatomy for Every Body.

You can also find out more about the clitoris on that second link there.

In terms of buying a toy, people who sell toys aren't embarrassed, so while you might feel awkward, it doesn't have to be anything more than that. Buying toys online is also an option if that feels better for you. However, there are often age restrictions on toys, so if you're not yet 18, you may need to wait, period, I'm afraid.
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miamoos
newbie
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Dec 05, 2021 3:29 pm
Age: 16
Awesomeness Quotient: i am quite smart!
Primary language: english
Preferred pronouns: mostly she/her but other pronouns are fine :)
Sexual identity and orientation: bisexual!
Location: United Kingdom

Re: Can’t masturbate

Unread post by miamoos »

thank you so much i’ll check out those links :)
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