I'm debating on whether or not to come out to my family as genderfluid. Like seriously debating back and forth between a couple of screaming lawyers in my head. To be clear, I'm in a safe atmosphere. My parents are fairly supportive and my siblings will back me up no matter what. I have a slideshow prepped and everything, but I'm debating on when and whether to send it.
On the one hand, if I come out, I won't have to hide my binder anymore. I'm planning on introducing myself at my new school as my preferred name (which is a shortened version of my given name so I can pass it off as a nickname), so if I come out, then my parents won't be confused as to why my teachers call me the nickname. I already suggested to my father that I might use a nickname next year, so if I tell him it's actually my preferred name, he might be less opposed to it. I still accept my given name and she/her pronouns are still okay, so probably things wouldn't change too much. I could dress how I want without my immediate family complaining that I'm not feminine enough. When I'm old enough and have enough money for top surgery, I'll have someone who can take care of me for a few weeks while I'm recovering. All in all, there are advantages to coming out.
On the other hand... they'll look at me like I'm a different person. They'll tiptoe around me and I'll see it in their faces and I can't stand feeling fragile. I've had enough of people walking on eggshells around me. I'm sick of it. Plus, I have no clue how my extended family feels about LGBTQ+ issues besides one instance of one grandmother saying "Oh, I knew a gay girl once, she was nice". A few of my relatives think of me as a tomboyish girl and they still disapprove. I've no idea how they'd react to the knowledge that I'm not actually a girl at all.
Overall, I'm just really tired and confused and stuck. I almost hope my family might stumble across my binder or one of my online profiles so I could just get it over with. Maybe I should hire a flash mob to come out for me, haha. Or maybe I could just never tell them, move out at eighteen and just separate my family from my day to day life, live a lie for them. I don't know. That's probably not healthy. If anyone has any advice for me, then please help.