Scarleteen

hey everyone

so in the last few months, ive become a bit more comfortable with seeing my gender as really nothing. not feeling like a girl or a boy. just human. so i started using they/them pronouns, have told my friends and my sister and they use my pronouns. i then decided that it was time to share my pronouns with some coworkers so that i felt more like me at work, but they haven't used it at all. i had a whole conversation with one of them, taking the time to explain what gender neutral pronouns were, what non-binary was, etc...and she still does not use my pronouns. i also told some people to not use girl/ladies for me, but it continues to happen.

at this point im tired of trying to get people to use my pronouns. it makes me sad because i actually do like my coworkers and i have a good time with them, but they dont really know who i am, yknow? id like to. say were friends, but are we? should i just give up? just continue my life as people see me? i mean ill continue telling new people my pronouns, but damn its tiring explaining yourself and putting yourself out there like that..

anyway - anyone have the same experience? any thoughts? advice? comfort? anything is welcomed!

Hi there Jawz and welcome to Scarleteen! I’m sorry to hear that you’re experiencing disrespect in this way from your coworkers, I hope that whilst it doesn’t make things better in a practical way, that hearing that you’re not at all wrong to feel frustrated and dejected by this situation, as it can feel so so rough to have to work to be shown decency.

I am glad to hear that you have some supportive friends and family around you. Is there anyone at work who looks like they may be more supportive, or even a HR person you could speak to? If there is, you could try bringing up issue, and ideally they then take on the mental labour of educating the workforce on pronouns and using gendered language and also how to correct themselves if they do make mistakes. This may not change things overnight but hopefully might take some of that burden off yourself. How does that sound?

Jawz, that sounds exactly what my life is right now. I don't have any advice, but you're not alone. I've decided to go back in the closet and try to forget about it (since everyone else seems to have already anyway), but I do admit that it's taking quite the toll on my mental health. I know this probably isn't what you wanted to hear, but I hope it's at least a little comforting that someone else is going through the same thing. I hope that you can find friends, family, and coworkers who respect your pronouns and see you for who you are. Best of luck to you!