Came out to my parents, suddenly uncomfortable?

Questions and discussions about gender, gender roles and identity.
Spider_Queen
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Came out to my parents, suddenly uncomfortable?

Unread post by Spider_Queen »

Up until recently I've been totally unable to communicate with my family that I was trans, though I finally did that recently, and it's been kind of a mixed bag but for some weird reasons.

They're totally accepting, so I'm not sure the issue lies in them. Whenever I'm gendered correctly or have my name used by them it feels strangely uncomfortable? And it's not like this is a regular occurrence, with my friends it's totally fine. With my family though for some reason talking about this stuff brings up a lot of discomfort. With that issue my main theory is this is just teen stuff and I feel weird talking about anything with my parents, though the whole being gendered correctly is odd.

I would assume it's just a calibration thing but I suppose I was mostly curious if this is something that others have experienced because it's something that's confusing me a lot. Not to the degree of doubting my transness or whatever but I'm definitely perplexed as to why this is a thing, and if there's anything that can be done about it.
May you find your rest where no shadows are cast, and no eyes may see you slumber

Adelard Dekker, The Magnus Archives
Carly
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Re: Came out to my parents, suddenly uncomfortable?

Unread post by Carly »

Hey Spider_Queen -- I think what's happening sounds pretty normal. You said that you were unable to communicate with your family about being trans for a long time, and to me this means you probably accepted them not using your name and pronouns and it became a norm. Now that it's suddenly switched, it makes sense that it would feel a little weird, especially if you've ever contemplated never telling them and/or expected them to be difficult about it.

When they use your name and pronouns, do they seem uncomfortable? What's their body language or speech like?
Spider_Queen
not a newbie
Posts: 15
Joined: Sun Nov 15, 2020 10:50 pm
Age: 17
Awesomeness Quotient: I consume media at an ungodly speed
Primary language: English
Pronouns: She/Her
Sexual identity and orientation: Lesbian probably
Location: USA

Re: Came out to my parents, suddenly uncomfortable?

Unread post by Spider_Queen »

They seem comfortable, it’s only been a handful of days but my father has only slipped up once and everyone seems generally ok with it.
May you find your rest where no shadows are cast, and no eyes may see you slumber

Adelard Dekker, The Magnus Archives
Sam W
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Re: Came out to my parents, suddenly uncomfortable?

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Spider_Queen,

From what you're describing, I suspect you're right that it's mostly a calibration issue. After all, your family has been using your old name and pronouns for your whole life, and even a wanted change in that may feel like something is off. I suspect that it may be a matter of giving it a few weeks and seeing if the weirdness goes away.
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