Thanks for sharing - it seems like by writing out your thoughts and feelings about this, you’ve given yourself a good opportunity to explore. This article takes a deeper dive into masculinity and self expression: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/poli ... linity_and
1) There is no “right” way to express masculinity or sexuality, and you can express masculinity without being toxic. Do you have any people (either in the media or your life) who you look up to when you think about sexuality or masculinity?
2) Do you feel comfortable sharing more about what makes you feel that it’s morally wrong to be attracted to people? It’s normal to see changes in how/how much you find people attractive, but if it’s bothering you, it’s worth addressing
3) Given that men are often portrayed as having to be more assertive and aggressive, particularly in sexual media, it’s reasonable that your first instinct is to question whether the man’s actions are harmful to his partner or himself. This isn’t to say that a man shouldn’t ever initiate things! But I think you’re right that it’s important to check in when anyone initiates that it is without coercion or expectations.
Are there any things that come to mind when you think about expressing your sexuality that feel blocked right now? (Clothes, music, other?)