Sam W wrote:Hi Sky H,
Dysphoria can be such a pain, and I'm sorry you're dealing with it. So I can get a sense of what your supports are like, are you currently seeing a mental health provider? And do you have many connections to other transfeminine folks, either in your area or online?
Can I ask what particular things you're missing for tucking? Too, have you noticed that things like wearing certain underwear or using certain terms for your genitals (even if it's just in your own head) seem to help lessen the dysphoria? And do you notice the dysphoria only cropping up when you think of your body in certain contexts?
Sam W wrote:Got it, thanks for all that information.
So, I asked about whether you know other transfeminine folks for a few reasons. One is simply support; dealing with things like dysphoria can be a little easier if you have folks in your life who've gone through the same thing and can maybe offer advice. But trans spaces, or spaces like LGBT centers, are also often places that can help you access things like gaffs. Would you be interested in exploring those spaces, even if that exploration is mainly online?
I agree that avoiding tape is a sound call. If you haven't already seen it, this article has some starting places for options other than gaffs, including information on how to tuck safely: Trans Summer School: Gender Expression Gear. There are an increasing number of underwear manufacturers (like TomBoyX) who make underwear specifically designed to help people tuck comfortably, and those might be more accessible/affordable for you.
With the context question, I was mainly wondering if there are certain situations that tend to make your bottoms dysphoria flair, such as sex or masturbation.
Sam W wrote:Okay! When it comes to online spaces, these boards are actually a great starting place to chat with other queer and trans folks. The next place I'd suggest checking out is to actually see if the place you mentioned is offering things like digital meetups or groups; a lot of LGBT centers have moved their programming online as a means of keeping their community safe during the pandemic.
Here we go, these articles go into more depth about how to tuck and what people do to tuck safely is a gaff isn't an option: https://pointofpride.org/gaffs-101-tuck ... mfortably/, https://pointofpride.org/trans-femme-sh ... -resources. I did just check, and both TomboyX and Origami Customs make tucking underwear for trans feminine folks and ship internationally.
Since it sounds like bottom dysphoria crops up quite a bit, I want to highlight this resource: https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magaz ... ans-folks/. It's written about broader dysphoria, but are there any strategies in it that jump out at you as things you could try?
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