New name and HRT?

Questions and discussions about gender, gender roles and identity.
Teeth&flowers
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My Awesomeness Quotient: I’m really creative and friendly
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Location: Washington, DC

New name and HRT?

Unread postby Teeth&flowers » Sun Aug 09, 2020 1:04 pm

Hi! I’m 16 years old, and a nonbinary guy (they/them and it/its pronouns). I’ve been out as nonbinary for around a year, I think (time flies!), but I’ve still been using my old name. My birthname is feminine, and unusual, and several people have told me they assumed it was a name I chose when I started transitioning. However, I’m more comfortable with a name I’ve chosen for myself, and have been going by on the internet for a few years. I’ve slowly been hinting at using this name to my family, mostly as jokes, and they aren’t getting it (my chosen name is a noun, which probably has some influence on that). Does anyone have any advice on how to come out with a new name?
Additionally, I’m wanting to go on T. I’ve most likely stopped growing, and I’ve located an informed consent clinic in my area. I need parental approval, and to be accompanied to all appointments by a parent. I don’t think my parents would be thrilled for me to start taking T, is it worth the wait until I’m 18? Or should I bring it up now?

Sam W
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Re: New name and HRT?

Unread postby Sam W » Mon Aug 10, 2020 7:23 am

Hi Teeth&flowers,

With both your name and starting T (or even going to the clinic to discuss what your hormonal transition options are), a big part of how you can approach it depends on how out you are to your family. Are they already aware you're nonbinary? Or would asking about hormones or requesting they use the new name be your way of coming out?

I do want to mention that with HRT, depending on where you seek treatment blockers may be the only option available until you turn 18. But that depends on the clinic and on the conversations you and your healthcare provider have about what option makes the most sense for you.

Teeth&flowers
newbie
Posts: 4
Joined: Sun Aug 09, 2020 12:43 pm
My Awesomeness Quotient: I’m really creative and friendly
My primary language: English
My pronouns: They/them, it/its, he/him
My sexual identity and orientation: Biromantic asexual
Location: Washington, DC

Re: New name and HRT?

Unread postby Teeth&flowers » Wed Aug 12, 2020 1:00 pm

Sam W wrote:Hi Teeth&flowers,

With both your name and starting T (or even going to the clinic to discuss what your hormonal transition options are), a big part of how you can approach it depends on how out you are to your family. Are they already aware you're nonbinary? Or would asking about hormones or requesting they use the new name be your way of coming out?

I do want to mention that with HRT, depending on where you seek treatment blockers may be the only option available until you turn 18. But that depends on the clinic and on the conversations you and your healthcare provider have about what option makes the most sense for you.


Hi! Thank you! I completely blanked on saying, yes, I am out to my family as nonbinary, I have been for just over a year! Thank you very much :)

Sam W
scarleteen staff/volunteer
Posts: 6733
Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
My Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
My primary language: english
My pronouns: she/her
My sexual identity and orientation: queer
Location: Desert

Re: New name and HRT?

Unread postby Sam W » Thu Aug 13, 2020 9:31 am

Got it! So, since you're out, I think having a conversation with your family about your name is the way to go. Keeping it simple to start can help to start out with. Something like, "I know you've always called me (old name) but I've actually realized that I want to go by (new name)." Hopefully that's all it takes to get the information across (they may still slip up at first). Do you happen to know if your birth name was super-significant to one or both of your parents? Or was it more "we named you this because we liked it?"

Do you think your parents would be more open to you going on blockers rather than T? And even if they not instantly on board with HRT, do you think they'd at least be open to going to a clinic with you to talk with a healthcare provider and learn about your options with you?


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