Needing advice

Questions and discussions about gender, gender roles and identity.
sky
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Needing advice

Unread postby sky » Sat May 16, 2020 8:34 pm

Hey everyone

I am thinking about getting an IUD to stop my periods. I’ve been having an incredible amount of issues over getting my periods. I had stopped pretending and killing myself hiding the fact that a do feel like a man a lot and I always have. I feel like one and it’s hard to feel like one when I’m wearing a pad and can feel it because I can’t wear tampons because I hate touching down there. It’s hard to think of myself other then a woman when I feel the bad constantly.

So an iud seems like a good idea, yeah? So, if you’ve had one, does it hurt a lot? Did it actually stop your periods? If I went to planned parenthood would they happily help me? I’m also nervous that when I’m super just hating myself for being trans that I’ll pull it out. I don’t know if it’s a good idea so here I am asking strangers online. Thank you in advance if anyone answers. Please help me

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Re: Needing advice

Unread postby Alexa » Sun May 17, 2020 7:06 am

Hey Sky,

I'm sorry to hear that your periods are so difficult for you. Menstrual suppression is definitely one way to help with any distress around periods and gender.

Hormonal IUDs, like Mirena and Skyla, can make your periods lighter, or even make them go away (though we can't guarantee that this will happen). It's important to note that copper IUDs will not make your period go away, and may even make them heavier, so for this purpose it will be important to ask your provider for counseling around a hormonal IUD specifically.

We have some more information on IUDs here. Many people do experience discomfort or pain during and immediately after insertion. Tylenol and heating pads should help with this pain.

There are other methods that can work for menstrual suppression, too. If you'd prefer to try something else in the short-term before committing to a long-acting reversible contraceptive, like the IUD, you can try using birth control pills or the NuvaRing to suppress your periods. Note that the NuvaRing will require you to insert something into your vagina about once a month, though, so if that will be emotionally or physically difficult, I would recommend birth control pills or the IUD.

I want to say that you should never pull your IUD out yourself -- only a medical professional can remove this device properly and safely. It is easy to forget your IUD is even there after a while, because you don't really feel it, so I'm hoping that might help with the urges you described. Do you want to say more about why you might remove or cease birth control because of gender feelings? I want to make sure we support you in interrogating and diminishing that desire, if we can. <3
Alexa K.
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sky
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Re: Needing advice

Unread postby sky » Sun May 17, 2020 11:31 am

Hey, thank you Alexia!

So sometimes I freak out and say I’m a girl and just spazz out and just take everything away that I’ve done. That’s why I am afraid I’ll just pull it out. Sounds silly I know but it’s really hard, all this

sky
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Re: Needing advice

Unread postby sky » Sun May 17, 2020 3:11 pm

okay so also, ive done birth control pills and I hated it. The nuva ring I MIGHT be able to handle but I would need to research more about it so I’ll look into it

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Re: Needing advice

Unread postby al » Sun May 17, 2020 9:28 pm

Hi sky,

I apologize if you've already shared this before, but I wanted to ask - have you taken different types of birth control pills? I ask because there are quite a few varieties out there, and if you've only tried one or two types, it's possible that there might be other ones out there that work better for you. It also depends on what you didn't like about them - obviously if the biggest issue was taking a pill every day, a different formulation probably won't help. But if you didn't like certain side effects, there might be ways to manage them a bit with a medical provider.

Just a thought! Let us know how the NuvaRing research goes - it was my faaaaavorite form of birth control back when I was using it, so I'm here if you have any questions. :)
Nothing happens in contradiction to nature, only in contradiction to what we know of it. -Special Agent Dana Katherine Scully

sky
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Re: Needing advice

Unread postby sky » Sun May 17, 2020 10:54 pm

Yeah I was on lo loestrin fe before. I don’t have insurance so I was just gonna go to planned parenthood, can I talk to them or do I need a decision when I go? I guess my main question/issue is like do you have to touch a lot? Ive only touched down there once and if I’m gonna be honest I don’t even know where my vagina like hole is, I can’t look or feel I just like can’t.

sky
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Re: Needing advice

Unread postby sky » Sun May 17, 2020 11:04 pm

Oh sorry I skipped a thing. I don’t like having to take it everyday. I forget a lot.

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Re: Needing advice

Unread postby Sam W » Mon May 18, 2020 7:09 am

Hi Sky,

Okay, if taking it everyday is the hiccup, then a new method is the way to go. With the ring, you do have to be comfortable touching your genitals at least a little. You generally put the ring in, wear it for three weeks, then take it out for one week, then put a new one in. There's a good rundown of what using the ring is like here: the Vaginal Ring (Nuvaring).

With Planned Parenthood, you don't have to have a method decided on before you go; something a sexual health provider can do is talk with you about your options, or about the methods you're considering, and help you determine what's the best fit given your lifestyle and medical history.

sky
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Re: Needing advice

Unread postby sky » Mon May 18, 2020 3:06 pm

Okay I have some questions after research. So i read you can skip periods, can I just keep the ring in all the time? (Obviously switching them out)

Second question, the hormone things they talk about, does it make my hormones like not so crazy?

Also, it’s ovulation- can I stop that? I don’t like the discharge it is a lot for me sometimes

I’m sorry if I seem dumb, I don’t know much about this cause I wasn’t taught and sometimes my own research is too much for my sanity

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Re: Needing advice

Unread postby Mo » Mon May 18, 2020 3:55 pm

It is possible to have a ring in all the time, instead of taking a week off without a ring during with a withdrawal bleed will happen. You may still experience some bleeding or spotting if you choose to do that, but it's likely to be much less than with your regular periods or with the withdrawal bleed you'd get if you had a week between when you removed an old ring and inserted a new one.
One of the ways the ring works is to stop ovulation, so yes, this method should take care of that.
In terms of the impact of using a hormonal method, it's really impossible to know how you might react to it beforehand. What in particular are you concerned about?

sky
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Re: Needing advice

Unread postby sky » Mon May 18, 2020 4:33 pm

So is there no way to just never bleed again? :( I just gotta deal with it. This fucking sucks.

Mo
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Re: Needing advice

Unread postby Mo » Mon May 18, 2020 5:00 pm

When it comes to birth control methods, there's no way to guarantee you won't bleed at all. Some people do experience no or very little bleeding with some methods but there isn't a way to know what the result will be for you in particular without trying a method yourself.

sky
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Re: Needing advice

Unread postby sky » Mon May 18, 2020 5:09 pm

I think I’m gonna try the nuva ring but I’m crying thinking about touching it so often. hahahahahahah *sobs*. I’ll just talk to planned parenthood about it.

Sam W
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Re: Needing advice

Unread postby Sam W » Tue May 19, 2020 7:27 am

If the thought of it is stressing you out that much, then it may be the ring isn't the best option, at least not right now. If you haven't already done so, I recommend playing
Birth Control Bingo! to see if there are methods that are a better fit in terms of how they fit into your life and what they require you to do.

sky
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Re: Needing advice

Unread postby sky » Tue May 19, 2020 8:50 am

I’m cis so I’m just gonna let myself have periods, no birth control.

0PT1M15T1C
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Re: Needing advice

Unread postby 0PT1M15T1C » Tue May 19, 2020 2:09 pm

I believe I've said this before around binding but ---

You don't need to be trans in order to take birth control. I have multiple cis friends who use birth control in order to suppress or stop their periods. If it's something that makes you uncomfortable, you have every right to find ways to alleviate that or at least get support around it.

There are so many reasons people can take/use birth control, I have a friend that supresses hers because she hates the sight of blood, another for pain, another just because she'd just prefer not to have it, and more for protection against pregnancy but still, I think my point goes, there's TONS of reasons.

It's your choice, obviously, but I just wanted to let you know that you don't need to be trans to do anything whether it be binding, birth control, or something else. You get to do whatever you want with your own body, and whether that be taking/using BC or not, it's up to you.
You have the power to say "This is not how my story will end".


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