pls help! staying safe (new wlw couple)

Questions and discussion about contraception, safer sex, STIs, sexual healthcare and other sexual health issues.
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pls help! staying safe (new wlw couple)

Unread postby sapphicmess » Fri Oct 04, 2019 7:14 pm


so a few months ago i got into a new (currently, long distance due to school) monogamous relationship with an absolutely amazing person. we're both cisgender girls, and neither of us have really done anything in the past apart from making out, so theoretically we should both have clean bills of health. we've talked about getting tested, and we want to get tested before we see each other again, since the tension is building and we want to be ready for whatever happens when we visit.

so, here's my query: if, after testing, we're both clean, would we somehow be at any risk for STI's or STD's? i know it's important to use dental dams (which i've already acquired some of) and whatnot to avoid yeast infections and the like, but if things were to get really heated/we were to run out of dental dams, what would we be at risk for? i've never had very good education on lgbtq+ sexual health.....i want to make sure i'm doing things right. if neither of us have anything, and we're not seeing anyone else outside of the relationship, there shouldn't be a way for either of us to catch anything serious, right?

basically, i need as much advice and information on this topic as possible. i know there's probably some resources on this website but i haven't found anything that answered my particular questions yet


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Re: pls help! staying safe (new wlw couple)

Unread postby Sam W » Sat Oct 05, 2019 7:35 am

Hi sapphicmess,

Good on you for thinking about these questions ahead of time (and for stocking up on dental dams)!

So, the safer sex precautions will depend on what activities you both want to try, and what STIs you were screened for. One of the tricky things is that, while things like oral sex and manual sex carry less risk of STIs than, say, vaginal sex with a penis, two of the STIs they pose a risk for aren't commonly tested for. Those STIs are: Herpes and HPV (if you're curious about why that is check these out: The STI Files: Herpes, The STI Files: Human Papillomavirus (HPV) ). That means that if you want to be as safe as possible, you'll still want to use barriers if those STI tests come back negative.

Along with dental dams, you'll also want to keep some lube, latex gloves and/or condoms handy. Condoms are useful to have around if there are any sex toys being used, and because they can be made into a dental dam in a pinch, and used to cover fingers during manual sex. And while hand washing goes a long way towards decreasing the infection risks of manual sex, some people find they like using gloves for added protection and comfort. Does that help you figure out what else you might need to get to stay safe?

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