Hi Kela,
Thank you for sharing with me. I can imagine that anxiety has been a big weight on you lately! First off, I would start by saying let's take a deep breath! It sounds like a lot of your anxieties are all culminating at once here and that's a lot for one brain to take on so let's take it one issue at a time.
To start, as we will always say, no one here at Scarleteen is a doctor. So, if you truly are concerned that the color of your discharge may be indicating something I would highly recommend you make an appointment with an OBGYN if that's possible for you.
That being said, it sounds like this may be far more of a mental health issue than a physical health one. Are you in therapy currently? If you are, I think this would be a great conversation to bring up with your therapist to try to come up with some ways to manage these feelings.
From a sex education standpoint I will say this, a lot of stuff can impact when your period comes from big things (say pregnancy) to smaller things like stress. The body does not work on a schedule like we do (no iCalender Service in the womb
) so its bound to change up every once and a while. As a result, hyperfixating on exactly when it is coming won't necessarily indicate much of anything. Major regular changes of how you are feeling, how much blood, and how frequently and how long your period is are more larger things to generally monitor. Additionally, let's challenge what "normal" looks like. Irregular or different doesn't necessarily mean
PROBLEM. Every body is different. So while general health information is helpful it isn't always exact to YOUR body and how YOUR body functions. So try not to compare your experience to what the internet has defined as
THE experience.
Let's talk about your anxiety for a moment. You said this started after you got your pap smear in January. Did something happen at that appointment? Or was there maybe something you read or heard that has you worried about your health?
The good news is you are already identifying that these anxieties you are having might not necessarily be rational. Listen to your intuition right now because it is spot on in saying that you really have no reason to be so concerned about your health as it has not indicated in any way that there is something amiss. You are a capable, cool, and educated human - trust the knowledge that you've gained and trust the professionals around you.
Like I said earlier, if you are not already in therapy I would highly recommend trying to find a therapist to talk these emotions out and start coming up with good coping interventions to stop these spirals before they become all consuming.
Right now what I would suggest is trying to ground yourself when you are feeling these emotions. When you start to feel a spiral coming about your health, stop, take a deep breath in for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and slowly release for 8 seconds. Try doing this a couple times. After you've done that maybe try to ask yourself some questions: "Has my body given me any indication that something is wrong? Am I looking for a reason to be concerned? Could I talk with someone else about this and see if their perspective might be different? Is my focus on this going to ultimately help my body or cause it more stress?"
And maybe try to come up with some of these questions for yourself. These are just ones I thought up; you do not have to stick with these exact ones. I'd love to hear what questions you think might be helpful to ask yourself.
Additionally, take a read through some of our pieces on anxiety! I would recommend
Anxiety and Other Mental Health Resources and
Anxiety Lies as a place to start.
I hope this helps.
Best,
Val