I'm 22 (sorry if I'm a bit too old to be on this forum, but I know it can also be for young adults), and at an age where by now my doctor would usually schedule a gynecologist appointment. However, I really do not want to have one. I'm asexual and autistic, and the idea of anything penetrating me is such a terrifying sensory and general experience that my brain blue-screens rather than confront the possibility. I'm also agender and have dysphoria about my vagina if I have to think about it too deeply.
Which brings me to my question: do I have to have one? I have had one sexual experience, and it was something that most people wouldn't consider sex. I know this forum definitely would, but it makes it difficult when information about when you need to see a gynecologist is based around more conventional definitions and assumptions about sexual activity.
These are the (TMI, sorry) specifics of my situation: I fingered my partner directly (my fingers often have a ton of little cuts on them, if that makes the contact riskier). Because of my sensory issues, she fingered me, but only over my underwear. My partner had been sexually active before, and I don't think she got tested.
To make matters more complicated, this happened a couple years ago! I tried to explain the situation to my doctor at the time but I was super embarrassed by all the details and am not sure how clear I was. She assumed I would go on to be more sexually active, and I wasn't 21 yet, so she said it would be okay for us to put off the gyno appoint until I was. But now I'm 22 and have discovered I'm asexual and haven't had sex since. Because of my lack of experience, is it safe for me to just not have this appointment? Or are there health concerns from either this one event - or just from growing up - that require gynecologist appointments and I need to prepare to have one?
Thanks!