Scarleteen

My boyfriend and I are trying to be SAFE. No sex. We're 19 and 21. So Today I decided to give him a hand job through his underwear and felt that he had pre-cum but just barely over his boxers (it wasn't soaked through.) And then we both felt again and I ran my hand over the underwear slightly to check. And sure enough there was a teardrop stain.

I can't remember if I touched it again..his "pre cum." But I'm nervous. And hope that nothing stayed on my fingers.

We talked after...I did not continue the hand job or touching him at all. We talked for at least 2 mins. (Don't know if that helps but I heard that sperm doesn't survive much outside.) Before I went to the restroom to deal with my period emergency.

(I started my PERIOD yesterday.)

I saw a blood clot on the pad so I (like any other panicked girl.) dipped my fingers into my vagina to check what was going on with THE SAME HAND that I used to run over his boxer briefs minutes before... ( I know that's not advised but these clots were scary and I had to see what was coming out.) And now I am scared that maybe somehow his pre-cum got in.

I didn't feel like my hand was wet or that it had anything on it. I mean I touched several surfaces. His T- shirt. My cotton pants. Door knob.

Hi there Lola43,

What you're describing (manual sex) does not present a pregnancy risk, and is low STI risk. I would recommend reading over our guide, Can I Get Pregnant or Get or Pass On an STI From That?. Maybe even read it/share it with your partner!

It sounds like this topic carries a lot of anxiety for you. Is that something you want to talk about managing together? How do you cope with the anxieties you have around this by yourself or with your partner?

Hi Lola43,

I second checking out the link Alexa is referring to. From everything you've mentioned, there is not a viable pregnancy risk. Sperm simply are not that resilient. The idea that they would be able to survive getting through your boyfriend's boxers, to your hands, to multiple other surfaces, and be alive or functional by the time they reached your vagina isn't realistic.

Given how anxious you are though, it might be a good idea to take a break from the kinds of sexual activities that are making you anxious. Breathe, relax, and take the time to check out some of the resources on this site that might be able to help you decide what kind of sexual activities (if any!) you and your partner would be comfortable doing. Rememember that you never have to engage in anything you don't feel safe doing or don't enjoy.

If these kinds of panicky moments are common for you I would highly recommend reading the entirety of this page:

https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodi ... nk_you_are

Perhaps it can help you sort through some of your anxieties surrounding this issue.

Best of luck!