Questions and discussion about contraception, safer sex, STIs, sexual healthcare and other sexual health issues.
- not a newbie
- Posts: 16
- Joined: Fri Jun 02, 2023 5:47 pm
- Age: 20
- Primary language: English
- Pronouns: She/her
- Sexual identity: don't worry about it
- Location: United States
hello everyone. i'm new here, 20 years old, cis female. i signed up because i've searched to the ends of the earth online for help with my particular problem and my results haven't been fruitful.
here's my problem:
i can get aroused, i can feel pleasure, i can orgasm. but i don't feel any pleasure from orgasming. i can feel it happening, but it doesn't feel good.
information about this has been extremely sparse, and what little info there is out there tends to be focused on cis men.
however, i also recently discovered that there is a very good chance i have vaginismus. i can't insert literally anything without it ranging from being extremely uncomfortable to outright painful.
i'm not officially diagnosed with vaginismus, but i am going to the obgyn soon (hopefully). in the little info i've found on the other problem, i did find a tidbit about a woman who had the same issue who was able to get rid of it by finding a way to relax her pelvic muscles.
i realized that if i do have vaginismus, if i can find a way to loosen my pelvic muscles, it might help with whatever this is.
so, what i'm wondering from the staff here is if they've heard of anything like this happening before, because i sure haven't. thanks!
- scarleteen staff/volunteer
- Posts: 9279
- Joined: Mon Jul 28, 2014 9:06 am
- Age: 32
- Awesomeness Quotient: I raise carnivorous plants
- Primary language: english
- Pronouns: she/her
- Sexual identity: queer
- Location: Desert
I'm so glad you found us! I know how frustrating it can be to be hunting around for information about something happening in your body and feel like it's nowhere (it's actually how I found Scarleteen way back when).
If you have vaginismus, or something else is up with your pelvic muscles, I agree that could be leading to orgasm feeling bad, or at least not pleasurable. You may have seen this already, but we have an article on the non-relaxing pelvic floor, and it could be worth looking to see if any of the recommendations for addressing that could also help you out: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/bodi ... lvic_floor
I also want to drop a link to this post here on the boards from a user who was also dealing with some pelvic floor stuff. Caitlyn, who writes our Pelvis Problems series, actually came into that thread to give a lot of advice, so there may be things in this conversation that'd be really useful to you: viewtopic.php?f=9&t=12214&p=63846&hilit=caitlyn#p63846