Condom slip with sex worker, HIV risk ?

Questions and discussion about contraception, safer sex, STIs, sexual healthcare and other sexual health issues.
Phantompains
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Condom slip with sex worker, HIV risk ?

Unread post by Phantompains »

Hello

I had sex with a sex worker, in riding position,i ejaculated inside the condom, she kept going after , mine went flacid, when i told her to stop and she got off, i found my penis without a condom, however it was covered in my cum the condom apparently was stuck in her vagina, she removed it, and cleaned mine

She says she doesn’t have HIV and undergoes periodic testing, and for some extent i don’t believe the regular testing part, as we are in a country that doesn’t regulate sex workers activities and health

I’m a very anxious person, and it is very difficult to get tested here….
Finally my questions are

What are the chances of contracting HIV if she was positive from this scenario ?

I need online, secure and private counselling service ( paid or free)
to help me give up the habit of visiting sex workers, given the sad fact that i’m married with one kid
Sofi
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Re: Condom slip with sex worker, HIV risk ?

Unread post by Sofi »

Hi Phantompains, welcome to the boards. I'm sorry this is causing you some anxiety, I'll start with talking about the condom incident because we don't want that to keep happening. Condoms slipping off like that sometimes happens because the condom is too large or doesn't fit properly, so I'd recommend making sure you're using the right size for you to avoid this happening again in the future and causing you stress. The other thing I recommend is as soon as you ejaculate to hold the base of the condom so that it stays on, you can hold it up until you go take it off safely.
As far as the risk of contracting HIV, vaginal sex is a high risk activity which is reduced when using condoms, but in this case it's hard to know how much contact with fluids you had. I wish I could give you a magic percentage, but we just can't know how high the chances are other than if the condom stayed on up until the very end, it's not SUPER high chance, but there's still always a chance. So, you said it's hard to get tested where you live, is it possible? I'd recommend, for your own safety and your spouse's if you're still sexually active with them, that you try to get tested in about 2-3 weeks (it won't be detected right away). Do you know of any places you can go get tested? Your doctor's office, a free clinic?

Regarding a private online counseling service to help you with the habit mentioned, are you looking for something like a therapist that specializes in this, or something else? Does it matter if it's a US-based service or do you prefer it in a different language? I've asked my colleagues to help me come up with some in the meantime, so we will get back to you on that.
Phantompains
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Joined: Sat May 07, 2022 11:07 am
Age: 35
Pronouns: He
Location: Asia

Re: Condom slip with sex worker, HIV risk ?

Unread post by Phantompains »

Thank you so much for your reply and highly appreciated empathy and understanding

I agree on the difficulty of determining how much contac happened, I’m sure it remained inside the condom during intercourse, and after going flacid, i didn’t hold the base of the condom, so when it was pulled out, the condom itself was stuck inside her vagina and my penis was covered by my own cum
Due to overthinking , i stressed myself thinking was it my cum or her sectetions ! Was it out of condom eralier than that ? Was there any exchange
I’m Pretty sure it remained inside the condom during the whole process and due to lubricant effect of my cum and the fact it went flacid inside the condom and remained inside her vagina for some seconds, it was easy to slip when pulled out

Nearest chance to get tested is after 3 months, i will withhold any sexual activity before getting results


I would appreciate recommendations in counselling services if in arabic to help with my current anxiety and giving up this habit
Sam W
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Re: Condom slip with sex worker, HIV risk ?

Unread post by Sam W »

Hi Phantompains,

It's likely that she or you (or both) would have notice if the condom came all the way off during sex, so it's likely that it slipping off when you pulled out was the first time it slipped.

In terms of finding counseling, while I can't recommend a specific location, I can give you this article, which goes over the steps to help you find a counselor that fits your needs: Process This: Getting the Most Out of Therapy. A common way to start is to search for "therapist in [your city]" as well as make sure you know whether you have things like insurance that will help cover the cost of it.
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