Search found 834 matches

by Jacob
Thu Aug 06, 2020 7:34 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: How did you 'figure out' your sexual identity?
Replies: 3
Views: 1335

Re: How did you 'figure out' your sexual identity?

A big thing that helped me was getting rid of the 'default' identities I was sticking to because other people accused me of being 'not normal' before I had a chance to decide for myself. If you start off with 'I'm not gay!' because someone was homophobic, it makes things confusing. So a first step w...
by Jacob
Thu Aug 06, 2020 7:25 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Question about porn
Replies: 3
Views: 860

Re: Question about porn

Hi Contemplation! Thanks for asking this question, it's a good one! My answer is really similar to Heathers: There is probably some statistical study that links the two, but I don't think there is anything that proves that one leads to the other. But I've heard this said a lot, and as far as I can t...
by Jacob
Thu Aug 06, 2020 7:03 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Racialized Gender Dysphoria?
Replies: 5
Views: 1809

Re: Racialized Gender Dysphoria?

Hi BuddyBoi! I'm so sorry you're having to contend with this at all. I think I just wanted to add that connecting with people with the aim of supporting eachother does involve the positive impact you will have on that connection too. You know that putting people down for being 'not black enough' or ...
by Jacob
Wed Aug 05, 2020 7:32 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Can't find my clit.
Replies: 11
Views: 2152

Re: Can't find my clit.

So glad you made the progress you wanted to VltLei!
by Jacob
Thu Jul 23, 2020 6:18 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Masturbation
Replies: 3
Views: 1651

Re: Masturbation

No problem! I'm very glad I could be helpful!
by Jacob
Thu Jul 23, 2020 6:02 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: My feelings about my gender is changing rapidly
Replies: 22
Views: 2244

Re: My feelings about my gender is changing rapidly

Hi! I can relate to lots of this, it can be a whirlwind for the mind when different and changing aspects of our likes, dislikes, identities, bodies and sexualities are marked as 'masculine' or 'male' or 'feminine' or 'female' or 'gender-neutral' or 'agender'. I'm not seeing anything here that says y...
by Jacob
Thu Jul 23, 2020 5:44 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: was I raped?
Replies: 4
Views: 877

Re: was I raped?

No problem! I think the main thing I would focus on is reducing the self-criticism. By that I mean the actual thoughts behind the shame like "this is my fault", or "I am doing this wrong", or "I should have prevented it by doing x, y,z". It sounds like you want to open ...
by Jacob
Wed Jul 22, 2020 12:48 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: was I raped?
Replies: 4
Views: 877

Re: was I raped?

Hi Renata, I want to thank you so much for choosing here as a place ask your question. How you reacted to this was absolutely understandable and many others who have had experiences like this will recognize and identify with your reactions. Many of us form fantasies out of abusive things which were ...
by Jacob
Sat Jul 18, 2020 5:26 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Masturbation
Replies: 3
Views: 1651

Re: Masturbation

Hi there, and welcome to scarleteen! Lots of people going through puberty have that feeling of wishing the fun things like orgasm and satisfaction from masturbation would hurry up and happen already! But experiences of puberty, and pelasure vary a lot , and it can take time time for the changes in y...
by Jacob
Fri Jul 17, 2020 4:40 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I can't read this guy. Help? (detailed)
Replies: 3
Views: 604

Re: I can't read this guy. Help? (detailed)

Hi ax! Welcome back! It's always so nice to catch somebody a few years later. So... Firstly I'm hearing a few things in your decription, that aren't super clear red flags on their own but do at least signal some incompatibility. However you're also describing a gut feeling that, for many of us, very...
by Jacob
Fri Jul 17, 2020 3:57 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Feel dirty because of fantasies
Replies: 1
Views: 691

Re: Feel dirty because of fantasies

Hi there cassie! Welcome to the site... I'm sorry this has been stressing you out. I will say that your fantasies and your mind are completely private and personal to you. It can be a little scary when something we weren't expecting or which feels unfamiliar appear in our fantasies, but it's ok... t...
by Jacob
Fri Jul 17, 2020 3:30 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I really do love my pill
Replies: 1
Views: 605

Re: I really do love my pill

Hi there! Indeed, as far as I'm aware, the nature of chemistry and the universal laws of physics have not changed since last year! Seeing as you already had the answer to this question I think it might be worth reminding yourself that when we find ourselves asking the sorts of questions which know t...
by Jacob
Wed Jul 15, 2020 10:41 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Can’t Feel Sexual Pleasure
Replies: 26
Views: 3463

Re: Can’t Feel Sexual Pleasure

Hi Cat, just dropping in to say that wanting support in calming down makes total sense, it can be grounding just to be around other people... and that it's good you're open to asking him, as Sam suggested. Talking about things almost always a step in the right direction.
by Jacob
Wed Jul 15, 2020 10:11 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Raw Sex
Replies: 1
Views: 384

Re: Raw Sex

Hi there and welcome! I honestly wouldn't support the idea that condomless intercourse is a milestone that we should be waiting for in any sexual relatonship, simply because they pretty much always offer a barrier to the transmission of STIs. From a health point of view they're almost always a good ...
by Jacob
Wed Jul 15, 2020 7:56 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: How has your gender expression evolved?
Replies: 17
Views: 10484

Re: How has your gender expression evolved?

EDIT: I didnt mean this to be my life story, but once I started writing bits it got longer! Hopefully it can at least be helpful to someone to know what a 30 year gender journey can look like. I think about my evolution mostly through clothes. When I was really small I didn't realise that things wer...
by Jacob
Wed Jul 15, 2020 6:44 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: How Old Were You?
Replies: 2
Views: 715

Re: How Old Were You?

What jazzy said! There is no 'too old' to find yourself in a situation with a person when you want to do something new including any sort of sexual intimacy 22, 33, 66, whatever. So holding off, when you weren't feeling ready probably will have given you the space to for it to be more ok, when you e...
by Jacob
Wed Jul 15, 2020 6:27 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sexuality Trouble
Replies: 1
Views: 691

Re: Sexuality Trouble

Hi A! So firstly I felt a little bad when you said "I'm just not sure what my deal is" ... I don't think there is a deal just because we don't want to date the people who are approaching us at a certain time! It could have just been you were just plain not into any of these boys and that i...
by Jacob
Wed Jul 15, 2020 6:10 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: My nipples and clitoris aren’t sensitive at all
Replies: 5
Views: 1107

Re: My nipples and clitoris aren’t sensitive at all

Hi Rose, Welcome to Scarleteen, So, unfortunately there aren't any vitamins that can 'put' erotic sensation into parts of our body. All bodies are different and it is relatively rare for a person to be turned on through contact with their breasts independent of being turned on by the wider situation...
by Jacob
Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:04 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: ?
Replies: 47
Views: 4657

Re: ?

Did you get a look at the peice Heather shared? It defines intimacy very very broadly. Including non-physical, non-sexual stuff.
by Jacob
Wed Jun 17, 2020 11:20 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 31
Views: 6238

Re: Hair and Presentation

I just wanted to add Raffles that it can be good to lay the groundwork for future, like talking about things in the abstract rather than direct conversations which feel like they won't go well... Is that something you'd consider? I know for me it has helped if I can say I've "put it out there&q...
by Jacob
Mon May 25, 2020 4:05 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Female Condom
Replies: 13
Views: 2664

Re: Female Condom

I was just about to jump in with an answer but I see everyone else got there! Glad it was helpful GS.
by Jacob
Thu May 14, 2020 1:30 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Getting annoyed because anal is painful for me.
Replies: 4
Views: 1388

Re: Getting annoyed because anal is painful for me.

Aside from lube, patience, and knowing-when-to-quit, my advice is sorta limited!

Maybe it's something that can't be a big part of your sex life if it only feels like it clicks and feels good rarely?
by Jacob
Thu May 14, 2020 1:26 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sex and all the complications
Replies: 41
Views: 4371

Re: Sex and all the complications

Yep, Treatment would include therapy, which you've said you're looking for an appropriate person with. When I say healing I mean the the types of improvements in mood, health and whatnot that can happen when we are having a break from stressful situations, whether that's time off work, time off sex,...
by Jacob
Wed May 13, 2020 1:14 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Anal Bleeding - Please HELP!
Replies: 1
Views: 855

Re: Anal Bleeding - Please HELP!

Hi Gerard!

There's some quit soft tissue up there so yup it sounds like you've cut yourself a little. I wouldn't worry about it massively but in future, maybe use lube, perhaps gloves and certainly clip those finger nails.
by Jacob
Wed May 13, 2020 1:10 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Injuries?
Replies: 3
Views: 859

Re: Injuries?

Hi! I would guess, seeing as this hasn't happened to you, that your technique is probably fine. It is a fairly rare injury, but is one which makes a very memorable image, which is probably why you find yourself thinking about it. I imagine that when it has happened it's been the result of an acciden...

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