Search found 834 matches

by Jacob
Wed May 13, 2020 12:40 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sex and all the complications
Replies: 41
Views: 4725

Re: Sex and all the complications

Mo wasn't saying anything about "the rest of your life". I am sure you don't intend to sound accusatory, but please try to remember that we are volunteers offering insight and it can be quite hurtful to be paraphrased in such a way. Seeing improvements will almost certainly have to involve...
by Jacob
Sun May 10, 2020 12:45 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sex and all the complications
Replies: 41
Views: 4725

Re: Sex and all the complications

I'm glad you've managed to see people who are well respected, but being considered the best by some in their field in general (i.e. with many patients, and/or in their research or writing) doesn't mean that their specialisms or style are a perfect match for you as an individual unique person. I thin...
by Jacob
Sun May 10, 2020 7:04 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sex and all the complications
Replies: 41
Views: 4725

Re: Sex and all the complications

Hi ShadowSong, sorry you're having such a crap time! I have to agree with Sam, that I don't think you've been getting the best care here. Being assessed psychologically to qualify for your gender to be recognised sounds to me a lot more like it was focussed on complying with gatekeeping policies aro...
by Jacob
Mon May 04, 2020 6:23 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: any asexuals that have advice? :)
Replies: 28
Views: 7142

Re: any asexuals that have advice? :)

^ This is off-topic, but I just want to say it's good to see you here and if you'd like to talk on chat or by email, I know I and other folks on the staff would be really happy to!
by Jacob
Wed Apr 29, 2020 3:39 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Trying to get boyfriend to be more open minded!
Replies: 1
Views: 786

Re: Trying to get boyfriend to be more open minded!

Hi Lola! I'm afraid there's no magic crow-bar to open a partner's mind with. It's really his responsibility to push himself to recognise the limits of his guesswork around what an asexual person is thinking. Really any conversation where someone is being strongly opinionated about the validity of a ...
by Jacob
Wed Apr 29, 2020 12:58 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: People have regrets?
Replies: 1
Views: 1128

Re: People have regrets?

I think it's worth just thinking about how deeply different religious organisations have shaped non-religious aspects of culture and beliefs. Really the whole idea of virginity is a cultural one; it's based on beliefs, even if the'yre not religious. The belief that there's a 'thing' you 'have' and t...
by Jacob
Mon Apr 27, 2020 7:12 am
Forum: Scarleteen Updates
Topic: Ask Us on Instagram
Replies: 0
Views: 804

Ask Us on Instagram

Those of you who follow us on Instagram will know we've started asking our followers to throw questions our way so we can answer with videos. When we post a call for questions there is only 24 hours to get your answers in (this week there is 2 hours left!) To ask us a question follow us on @scarlete...
by Jacob
Sun Apr 26, 2020 5:23 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Why do I have a problem asking girls out, but I have no problem asking guys out...
Replies: 1
Views: 1329

Re: Why do I have a problem asking girls out, but I have no problem asking guys out...

Hi Kitty! I feel like, for those of us aware of how intense dating, and being asked out can be for women, it does heighten worries of not wanting to seem like one of those creepy people if we do want to approach them. I think that's a reasonable thing to feel. That hesitance could even mean you tend...
by Jacob
Sun Apr 26, 2020 5:06 pm
Forum: Pregnancy and Parenting
Topic: Abortion during coronavirus
Replies: 3
Views: 5432

Re: Abortion during coronavirus

Hi ConfusedGirl! I am not aware of any coronavirus related restrictions on seeking an abortion in the USA. Sadly in many states abortion access is already quite restricted, corona virus aside, so even though I don't have the numbers, I imagine there could be delays accessing care if say, the would-b...
by Jacob
Sun Apr 26, 2020 4:56 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Unhealthy relationship
Replies: 4
Views: 2364

Re: Unhealthy relationship

Hi ConfusedGirl! Firstly, well done for making this decision! It's not easy but it sounds like you are trully feeling ready for it. I'm happy to welcome you to Scarleteen. I've just moved your other post here as it seems to be related: Does it count as emotional abuse if my boyfriend calls me "...
by Jacob
Sun Apr 26, 2020 4:35 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Dear Scarleteen
Replies: 3
Views: 1558

Re: Dear Scarleteen

Hi woflcub, Thank you for writing this! I wish more people were able to read about that case and use it to question their own language, attitudes and behaviours. I also think it's great you and your mom have a relationship where you were able to communicate about the situation here. Her giving you t...
by Jacob
Sun Apr 26, 2020 8:08 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: comfortable binder that passes as sports bra!!
Replies: 2
Views: 2237

Re: comfortable binder that passes as sports bra!!

Thanks achilles! Very tactful way to get hold of "definitely not a binder" ahead of feeling able to come out to whoever holds the purse strings!
by Jacob
Wed Apr 22, 2020 9:41 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Birth control and periods
Replies: 1
Views: 910

Re: Birth control and periods

Hi Meggy,

Monthly bleeding experienced on birth control tends to continue, perhaps becoming lighter. This won't be the same for everyone though.
by Jacob
Wed Apr 22, 2020 8:44 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Sugar Momma
Replies: 7
Views: 2442

Re: Sugar Momma

Nice to hear from you Sistine! How are you doing?
by Jacob
Wed Apr 22, 2020 8:32 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: collar shopping
Replies: 1
Views: 1705

Re: collar shopping

Sounds like something that's completely up to you! There is some degree of risk that you'll end up with something you didn't want, but if your desire to buy it outweighs the risk is something only you can say. Looking at reviews or contacting the sellers can also often be a good idea... they might b...
by Jacob
Tue Apr 21, 2020 3:11 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: I don't feel good even when I try to masturbate.I don't think I'm asexual though
Replies: 16
Views: 3985

Re: I don't feel good even when I try to masturbate.I don't think I'm asexual though

I'm so happy this was all so helpful!

Practising connection with yourself is definitely a great idea... if it does feel 'too much' then you can always slow down, or stop and come back to it another day.
by Jacob
Sun Apr 19, 2020 9:06 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: I don't feel good even when I try to masturbate.I don't think I'm asexual though
Replies: 16
Views: 3985

Re: I don't feel good even when I try to masturbate.I don't think I'm asexual though

I'm saying similar stuff to Alexa - there's some great advice. No appologies needed for being complicated! Well done for being your own complicated self! I'm so glad you conneccted with it all, and that it sounds like it can help you engage in therapy too. One thing, though: I'm not a sir! You can c...
by Jacob
Sun Apr 19, 2020 7:11 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: MSN Bot
Replies: 6
Views: 2398

Re: MSN Bot

Hiya! Bots like this are basically the backbone of the modern search-engine-driven internet! They go through the internet collecting keywords and building a 'map' of what words or phrases are used on every website on the internet. So if I search "Masturbation Scarleteen boards" in Bing, it...
by Jacob
Thu Apr 16, 2020 11:02 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Slurs
Replies: 9
Views: 1420

Re: Slurs

It's good to know you personally feel safe-ish around him. I'll say that simply being around violent speech does affect us, even if it isn't strictly 'about us'. I always feel that if someone is rejecting a group that I am not a part of, I still feel like it could have been me, and that hurts on its...
by Jacob
Thu Apr 16, 2020 8:34 am
Forum: Pregnancy and Parenting
Topic: Pregnancy Scare/stress
Replies: 1
Views: 2163

Re: Pregnancy Scare/stress

Hi Jazb! We don't answer questions around pregnancy fears unless the person has indicated that they are actually pregnant. It sounds like what you're experiencing might be closer anxiety. This often matches up with having worries or guilt for having sex, or feelings associated with especially stress...
by Jacob
Wed Apr 15, 2020 8:16 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Slurs
Replies: 9
Views: 1420

Re: Slurs

Oh wow. I'm sorry you're having to experience this from him, and to have him be so patronising when you challenge him. If it helps, I honestly think having challenged him is a compassionate and 'friendly' thing to do, in that it shows that you believe he can learn and do the right thing. I don't kno...
by Jacob
Tue Apr 14, 2020 10:21 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Keeping in Touch
Replies: 5
Views: 1531

Re: Keeping in Touch

I know it's been a little overwhelming for me Raffles, to have lots of platonic chums who I could connect with remotely, but just because the world stops it doesn't mean our anxiety always does, so the excessive amount of opportunity there is can be a bit of a challenge! It can be good to just take ...
by Jacob
Tue Apr 14, 2020 10:11 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: survivor help
Replies: 3
Views: 921

Re: survivor help

Hi Dani! I don't think you've traumatised him at all! We do I think, share in our partners problems a little, but sharing in unknown pasts and futures is also a choice that we enter into when we begin a relationship with or have sex with another person. It's not the same as having a traumatic experi...
by Jacob
Tue Apr 14, 2020 9:04 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Extreme Anxiety about a lie I told!!!!
Replies: 3
Views: 1042

Re: Extreme Anxiety about a lie I told!!!!

Hi Lolgal! I think your friend is very correct, that this particular thing wouldn't seem bad to most people. Plenty of people say "they're not my dad" about a person who has done them and their loved ones harm. If it felt like one small thing that would help you survive, then I'm glad you ...
by Jacob
Sun Apr 12, 2020 1:07 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: I don't feel good even when I try to masturbate.I don't think I'm asexual though
Replies: 16
Views: 3985

Re: I don't feel good even when I try to masturbate.I don't think I'm asexual though

Patience can be a good thing! So can saying "I am doing well, and it's ok for me to take a long time". I am happy to share, no problem. I can't 100% remember what I was going to reply when I initially offered, but I'll do my best here: So. I have definitely had the experience of doubting m...

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