Search found 8047 matches

by Heather
Wed Dec 06, 2023 11:57 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Pregnancy Scare
Replies: 3
Views: 4336

Re: Pregnancy Scare

Hi there, Anne. Who are the people talking to you about this? Whoever they are, something you can do for yourself when you're in a scare like this is both limiting who you talk to about it, and asking those you DO talk to to keep their talk about it with you supportive, or else not talk to you at al...
by Heather
Wed Dec 06, 2023 10:31 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Why do I get upset over things that aren't a big deal?
Replies: 1
Views: 8797

Re: Why do I get upset over things that aren't a big deal?

Morning, Rachel. My experience is that this is the case for a lot of people, but for sure, some kinds of neurodivergence can make it happen more often, be harder to let go of when it does happen, or both. Personally, I wouldn't get hung up on the validity of any of your kinds of upset. We feel what ...
by Heather
Wed Dec 06, 2023 10:27 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: struggling with sexual identity labels as a minor
Replies: 3
Views: 35196

Re: struggling with sexual identity labels as a minor

Good morning. :) You know, the person who will always be the most -- and sometimes the only! -- effected by what words we use for any of the parts of ourselves is us. And often how we figure out who we are, what our identity is, be it with sex or with things like religion, community, what have you, ...
by Heather
Wed Dec 06, 2023 10:14 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: hymen problems?
Replies: 7
Views: 6057

Re: hymen problems?

It doesn't sound like anything is likely actually wrong here to me, just like common variations we can see of the vulva and vaginal opening. But periods shouldn't cause vaginal or vulval pain, if that's what you mean by "thing," and it's also usually okay to see a sexual healthcare provide...
by Heather
Mon Dec 04, 2023 12:37 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: is teenage love real?
Replies: 3
Views: 5373

Re: is teenage love real?

Hi there, chailover. As you can probably figure out what "the college experience" even is varies by a whole lot, and that includes people's experiences of their sexual lives in college. For some people that's no partners at all, for others it is a handful of different partners, be they cas...
by Heather
Sun Dec 03, 2023 10:30 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: hymen problems?
Replies: 7
Views: 6057

Re: hymen problems?

Did you touch it? Might it have been mucus/discharge rather than tissue (skin)?
by Heather
Sun Dec 03, 2023 8:28 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I feel dread when it comes to sex but have a high libido, I'm confused
Replies: 5
Views: 4238

Re: I feel dread when it comes to sex but have a high libido, I'm confused

Hi there, Alex. It sounds to me like, in line with what Latha has suggested, that you approach any sex with your partner here form the standpoint of what feels okay as far as trauma goes, rather than by trying to reach orgasm. Trying to reach orgasm in this situation sounds to me a little bit like s...
by Heather
Sun Dec 03, 2023 8:24 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Bleeding after losing virginity
Replies: 1
Views: 4026

Re: Bleeding after losing virginity

Hi there, and welcome to the boards. So, bleeding isn't "supposed" to happen with sex, period, and it usually doesn't, including with first time intercourse. When it does, it's usually due to a minor injury by way of abrasion, due to not using lubricant or not using enough, a partner or ev...
by Heather
Sun Dec 03, 2023 8:19 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Unsure if I should approach this guy or not
Replies: 23
Views: 1031536

Re: Unsure if I should approach this guy or not

You know, it sounds to me like this guy already has a pretty full roster, and from what I can tell from your posts so far, you're not looking for what sounds most likely to be a one-time thing with someone you only are attracted to physically.

Do I have that right?
by Heather
Sun Dec 03, 2023 8:17 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How do I make masturbation go quicker? (Or libido lessen faster?)
Replies: 14
Views: 4805

Re: How do I make masturbation go quicker? (Or libido lessen faster?)

I just think that because you are so clear that you also do not really want to be masturbating, that continuing to do that while also feeling so much discomfort with having these desires in the first place is not a great choice for your mental health or towards hopefully, in time, resolving all of t...
by Heather
Thu Nov 30, 2023 10:24 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How do I make masturbation go quicker? (Or libido lessen faster?)
Replies: 14
Views: 4805

Re: How do I make masturbation go quicker? (Or libido lessen faster?)

So, "libido" is just a word for sexual desire, just so we're all on the same page. I asked how long this lasts to find out how long you'd have to potentially feel uncomfortable for if you didn't masturbate to try and quell it. If that was minutes or hours, that would obviously be very diff...
by Heather
Wed Nov 29, 2023 10:08 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Unsure if I should approach this guy or not
Replies: 23
Views: 1031536

Re: Unsure if I should approach this guy or not

No judgment about just being physically attracted to someone! I was just trying to get a sense of the bigger picture. That said, if you're not just looking for a sexual interaction or relationship, my advice would be to try and get a better sense of him as a person first before, say, asking him out,...
by Heather
Wed Nov 29, 2023 9:51 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Unsure if I should approach this guy or not
Replies: 23
Views: 1031536

Re: Unsure if I should approach this guy or not

Hey there, Lexie. Welcome to the boards. :) Can you tell me a little more about what you know about him besides what he looks like and what interactions with other girls he may or may not have had? What draws you to him, besides finding his appearance appealing? Can you also tell me what you mean wh...
by Heather
Wed Nov 29, 2023 9:17 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How do I make masturbation go quicker? (Or libido lessen faster?)
Replies: 14
Views: 4805

Re: How do I make masturbation go quicker? (Or libido lessen faster?)

For how long does that last, those feelings? A few minutes? Hours? Days? Longer?
by Heather
Wed Nov 29, 2023 9:17 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Deeply in love with a fictional character, to the point of it causing other mental health issues
Replies: 15
Views: 16472

Re: Deeply in love with a fictional character, to the point of it causing other mental health issues

You know, Laaviv, some of what you're saying here sounds a lot like some talk I have heard from my friends and colleagues over the years who are fiction writers. I have absolutely heard people who feel very attached to some of their characters (this is sometimes called a parasocial relationship, if ...
by Heather
Wed Nov 29, 2023 9:09 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: a few masturbation questions
Replies: 11
Views: 6998

Re: a few masturbation questions

Hello, again! Hopefully you've been doing well in your absence from the boards. :) And thanks for looking for answers on the site first! Appreciate you! Ultimately, we're just not going to be able to tell you what this was. If it came from your urethra, though, it was either urine, ejaculate or some...
by Heather
Wed Nov 29, 2023 9:02 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: suddenly penetration is painful?! :(
Replies: 1
Views: 4462

Re: suddenly penetration is painful?! :(

Hi there, lycheefan. So, there's no static, or set, way that the vaginal opening, vaginal canal, or the muscles around it are. They chance in a bunch of ways, pretty much all the time, depending on a whole host of factors, things like where a person is at in their fertility/menstrual cycle (or place...
by Heather
Wed Nov 29, 2023 6:51 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How do I make masturbation go quicker? (Or libido lessen faster?)
Replies: 14
Views: 4805

Re: How do I make masturbation go quicker? (Or libido lessen faster?)

Can I just pop into the thread here and ask what happens if you don’t masturbate? Typically, feeling of sexual desire will come and go even if we don’t do anything with them, and it certainly is not unhealthy NOT to masturbate. That’s something a lot of people like to do, but it’s never something an...
by Heather
Wed Nov 29, 2023 6:43 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Late period
Replies: 2
Views: 2375

Re: Late period

100% agree with Nadine here. I want to add that there is also no such thing as a “perfect 28 day cycle.” That whole idea actually comes from a very poorly (and very racist, too!) and shockingly amateur science project of sorts in the 1940s. You can look up “Norma” and the American Museum of Natural ...
by Heather
Tue Nov 28, 2023 8:41 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Brought up an open relationship to my gf, but I’m not sure
Replies: 17
Views: 24422

Re: Brought up an open relationship to my gf, but I’m not sure

Well, literally speaking they are ongoing interactions we have with other people. Seriously, that's it. I have a relationship with my bus diver just like I I do with a lover, they are just very different kinds of relationships. Honestly, I think often the older we get, and the more complex we all be...
by Heather
Sun Nov 26, 2023 3:12 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Masterbation preference changes?
Replies: 13
Views: 13146

Re: Masterbation preference changes?

Absolutely agreed that media tends to overblow orgasm and make them all seem like they are that kind, especially for women!
by Heather
Sun Nov 26, 2023 3:11 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Brought up an open relationship to my gf, but I’m not sure
Replies: 17
Views: 24422

Re: Brought up an open relationship to my gf, but I’m not sure

I don't think I'd say that those of us who are ENM/poly necessarily have bigger support/social networks but I WILL say that some frameworks and ways of enacting monogamy can involve more isolation for people in couples, which can for sure make it harder for monogamous people to create networks. I th...
by Heather
Sun Nov 26, 2023 9:18 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: does a guy dislike me or is he just shy?
Replies: 5
Views: 5790

Re: does a guy dislike me or is he just shy?

Hey there, Dennis. Welcome to the boards. I appreciate your offering help, but just wanted to drop a couple notes. I see you very focused on the person lulu is interested in being obsessed with her, but I am not sure I understand why you have that concern. I don't think anything she's said here abou...
by Heather
Sun Nov 26, 2023 9:14 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Brought up an open relationship to my gf, but I’m not sure
Replies: 17
Views: 24422

Re: Brought up an open relationship to my gf, but I’m not sure

Hey, Jay, I do just want to mention a couple of things! First up, I think what Latha said about only trying to work this out too much before you have even met a person who this could be about is so, so important. She's right. But I also think that if you are having feelings of anxiety at not being a...

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