Search found 266 matches

by MusicNerd
Mon Mar 11, 2019 10:22 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse and AA
Replies: 22
Views: 11840

Re: Parental Abuse and AA

Oh my goodness, that's such wonderful news! Thanks so much for sharing it with me, and I couldn't be more glad. It also sounds like you're winding up with a really solid, rad circle of helpers and supporters, and that's so very great. :D Thanks!! Yeah, I really do feel like I’m winding up with an a...
by MusicNerd
Mon Mar 11, 2019 10:00 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse and AA
Replies: 22
Views: 11840

Re: Parental Abuse and AA

Another UPDATE: you were right, Heather! It was self-defeating of me to think I couldn't find a sponsor who would understand. I met with my new sponsor today, and told her how I was planning on finishing my 5th Step with my therapist, and she was like “That’s great!!! That’s awesome! I’m a big fan o...
by MusicNerd
Fri Mar 08, 2019 3:16 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse and AA
Replies: 22
Views: 11840

Re: Parental Abuse and AA

I could totally see you with pom-poms!! haha :D Thanks so much <3
by MusicNerd
Fri Mar 08, 2019 2:27 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse and AA
Replies: 22
Views: 11840

Re: Parental Abuse and AA

UPDATE: I just broke up with my sponsor today! My therapist agreed to do this step with me (and in fact was encouraging of that idea as a general practice for this step, especially for parts of the inventory involving abuse and trauma with a trained professional). I was also pretty straightforward i...
by MusicNerd
Tue Mar 05, 2019 9:16 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse and AA
Replies: 22
Views: 11840

Re: Parental Abuse and AA

Thanks Heather, I appreciate you and your support as always <3
by MusicNerd
Tue Mar 05, 2019 8:44 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse and AA
Replies: 22
Views: 11840

Re: Parental Abuse and AA

Ugh! I'm not at all a fan of that response to you either. (Honestly, my dog is barking at me now because I just yelled "what a bunch of bullshit!" too loudly.) And anytime someone, in any setting, says they don't want to do a thing with someone if they are involving their therapist for th...
by MusicNerd
Mon Mar 04, 2019 5:15 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse and AA
Replies: 22
Views: 11840

Re: Parental Abuse and AA

So... my sponsor just called me and I have some updates (already lol): We talked and she basically was saying how the person she went through this step with victim-blamed her but she still had a “valuable experience”. And that no one is going to be perfect unless they’re a trauma-informed therapist ...
by MusicNerd
Mon Mar 04, 2019 2:41 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse and AA
Replies: 22
Views: 11840

Re: Parental Abuse and AA

Aww Heather, thank you so much <3 Yeah, this is definitely a hard thing to go through but to be honest: I was willing to accept my defects when they applied to other situations she and I talked about. It’s just when it came to multiple situations of abuse or trauma that came up, this was not applied...
by MusicNerd
Mon Mar 04, 2019 1:22 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse and AA
Replies: 22
Views: 11840

Re: Parental Abuse and AA

Also, in addition to my response I just made above: I really appreciate your support in all this. For a second there I thought I was crazy from people’s responses in the program. But I don't wanna give up on staying sober so we’ll see what my therapist says I guess.
by MusicNerd
Mon Mar 04, 2019 1:10 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse and AA
Replies: 22
Views: 11840

Re: Parental Abuse and AA

Thanks, yeah it’s definitely a lot. I’ll be honest: there are a couple times in my life where I’ve been dishonest and it was *not* for survival purposes. Maybe it was to preserve a toxic friendship by being a “yes man” for them, or to avoid a therapist knowing I struggled with drinking because I was...
by MusicNerd
Mon Mar 04, 2019 11:55 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse and AA
Replies: 22
Views: 11840

Re: Parental Abuse and AA

Forgot to mention in addition to my reply above to your post: another thing in talking about my abuse with my parents was when I told her that while I was living with them I stopped telling them I was upset with something they did or said, since they would flip out and punish me for it, and she said...
by MusicNerd
Mon Mar 04, 2019 11:27 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse and AA
Replies: 22
Views: 11840

Re: Parental Abuse and AA

Hi, thanks so much for responding so quickly Heather! So, my sponsor herself has been abused before, and she hasn’t really told me if the things some of her parents done were abusive or not, but she’s also not 100% unaware of abuse or dysfunctional families (since she’s experienced dysfunctional fam...
by MusicNerd
Mon Mar 04, 2019 11:05 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse and AA
Replies: 22
Views: 11840

Parental Abuse and AA

[TW/CW: emotional, mental, parental abuse] Hi all! So, I didn't expect to be back so soon but here we are. lol I’m currently in AA and I’m going through what’s known as the inventory step (Steps 4 and 5). Essentially, the point is to look at your resentments to see what your character defects are an...
by MusicNerd
Fri Feb 15, 2019 9:49 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Safer casual lesbian sex?
Replies: 9
Views: 4401

Re: Safer casual lesbian sex?

Nope, that’s it for now! Thanks so much, Heather! That means a lot coming from someone as awesome as you :)
by MusicNerd
Thu Feb 14, 2019 5:04 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Safer casual lesbian sex?
Replies: 9
Views: 4401

Re: Safer casual lesbian sex?

It’s funny, the support group I just came from was talking about expectations tonight and I was talking about how many unfair expectations I place on myself. lol Also, just 5 minutes ago I got a text from the person I’m supposed to be meeting up with saying they might be too sick to meet up tomorrow...
by MusicNerd
Thu Feb 14, 2019 3:00 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Safer casual lesbian sex?
Replies: 9
Views: 4401

Re: Safer casual lesbian sex?

UGH, this is so real!! “it can be all too easy to believe we don't really deserve boundaries, so asking for them is asking a lot (or too much, even), and anyone respecting them is doing us some giant favor.” So true, damn. My abusive upbringing definitely did not foster a boundary-respecting environ...
by MusicNerd
Thu Feb 14, 2019 12:39 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Safer casual lesbian sex?
Replies: 9
Views: 4401

Re: Safer casual lesbian sex?

Hi Heather! Thanks, I’ve been doing okay. Lots of ups and downs since the last time I’ve been on here (like 2016? jeez!!) but I think things are finally starting to look up. Okay yeah, that’s fair I shouldn’t “most” queer women. And I guess I didn't think about it that way, but you’re totally right ...
by MusicNerd
Thu Feb 14, 2019 8:15 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Safer casual lesbian sex?
Replies: 9
Views: 4401

Safer casual lesbian sex?

Hi! Wow, just realized it's been a minute since I've been on here haha :) hope y'all are doing okay! I'm back because I'm wondering if you could give some input on something, and I trust your opinions in this area. So, I’m planning on casually hooking up with some girls soon (just remembered that I'...
by MusicNerd
Wed Jul 06, 2016 5:12 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Does this count... or am I just overreacting?
Replies: 11
Views: 4952

Re: Does this count... or am I just overreacting?

Hi Musicnerd, So glad this thread has been helpful! I want to add to what Mo said. I ran a support group for survivors this past year, and there was a wide variety of experiences that brought people to that group. The policy of the group was to treat everyone's experiences as equally valid and in n...
by MusicNerd
Mon Jul 04, 2016 8:40 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Does this count... or am I just overreacting?
Replies: 11
Views: 4952

Re: Does this count... or am I just overreacting?

Sadly I think some people are so reluctant or ill-equipped to deal with the knowledge that a family member is abusive that they choose to make excuses, ignore the facts, or choose to believe that the victim is lying or exaggerating in order to avoid having to deal with the truth. :( Whatever the re...
by MusicNerd
Mon Jul 04, 2016 10:43 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Does this count... or am I just overreacting?
Replies: 11
Views: 4952

Re: Does this count... or am I just overreacting?

Hi, MusicNerd. I'd definitely be happy to be one of the people here to talk with you about how you're feeling; as you asked about support groups, perhaps you might also like to know that I'm a survivor of childhood sexual abuse by a family member, so there's definitely a strong element of peer-coun...
by MusicNerd
Mon Jul 04, 2016 10:10 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Does this count... or am I just overreacting?
Replies: 11
Views: 4952

Re: Does this count... or am I just overreacting?

Thanks for responding, Sam and Redskies-- I'm gonna make two posts so that this won't get too confusing in my responses. Hi Musicnerd, We can certainly help get you started on finding the support that's going to work best for you. You're right that a therapist or counselor would be the best place to...
by MusicNerd
Sun Jul 03, 2016 8:33 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Does this count... or am I just overreacting?
Replies: 11
Views: 4952

Re: Does this count... or am I just overreacting?

hey Karyn, thanks so much for responding! First off, I don't think you're overreacting. This person's behaviour sounds completely inappropriate, and they clearly do not/did not respect your boundaries, which is a big deal on its own: it's not surprising you feel weird and gross about it. Too, please...
by MusicNerd
Sun Jul 03, 2016 4:29 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Does this count... or am I just overreacting?
Replies: 11
Views: 4952

Does this count... or am I just overreacting?

hey! so, a couple days ago, I had some pretty scary flashbacks to some things I didn't even realize until recently my mind had deeply suppressed for a very long time. essentially, when I was a little kid, a member of my family used to guilt-trip me into going along with his weird displays of affecti...
by MusicNerd
Tue Apr 05, 2016 9:24 pm
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
Replies: 15
Views: 5167

Re: Self-Fulfilling Prophecies

It does sound like you really have a lot on your plate and you are right that you should give yourself credit and remind yourself to go easy on yourself :) yeah, i guess until i typed it all out to you just now, i hadn't realized how much i'd been dealing with. thanks for taking the time to read my...

Can't find what you're looking for? Try searching our main site.