Hey andrej, It sounds like you've answered your own question! If there isn't trust, it can be really hard to get to a place where it feels safe and good to have sex -- especially casual sex. I find that communication and trust is even more important when you are sharing a sexual partner with other p...

Hey emu-alex, I would love for you to check out this article and this article on safer sex for lesbians! They're great for just helping you feel caught-up and informed so that you can make your own decisions about dental dams and other means of protection. Your question has many parts, so I'm going ...

It can be really hard to know that your partner is still healing over an ex of theirs. I know that that has pulled on some of my anxiety and jealousy strings in the past. But I have to agree with Sam -- relationships are almost never "clean cut." Starting one doesn't mean that you complete...

That makes sense, theatreluvin. You feel violated because, well, that's a *super* violating thing to do! He should not have shared details of your personal life with a stranger, or to anyone without your permission, really. I'm so sorry that happened. I agree with Sam that "putting him on an in...

I am so glad that the light is coming back into your life, bit by bit. More will come with time. <3 I hope that knowing that, and feeling relief, will help you validate for yourself that you made the right decision about your own health. As meaningful as I know it is to you, it sounds like that tedd...

Hey Patrichles, I'm going to name what's happening here, even though I know it can be a stressful word to describe oneself with -- jealousy. But guess what -- jealousy is natural and okay in and of itself! It can be easy to experience this emotion in a relationship that is precious to you and that y...

Hey Juliaho90, This sounds like a normal period, and not a breakthrough or withdrawal bleed. To have a withdrawal bleed, you need to be "withdrawing" from active use of the BC pill (e.g. taking your sugar pills for the breakthrough bleed week). You are no longer withdrawing from the pill b...

Hey phantomdog, There's only a marginal difference between reported efficacy of internal vs. external condoms -- about ~3%. That being said, condoms are only as effective as the person using them, and people tend to be less familiar with internal condoms. Because of this, in terms of average actual ...

Hey Brackinbitty92, Having unprotected sex is less about how long you wait to make a decision, how old you are, etc. and is more about informed decision-making. Heather has an excellent answer to a question about unprotected sex here that I think may be really helpful when you're thinking through yo...

Internal condoms do not come in different sizes. One of the benefits of internal condoms is that they are able to take the shape of the vaginal canal once they are inserted & warm up from body heat, so they are sort of one-size-fits-all.

Hey SpaceRover, You can certainly use oil for anal play, and some folks do prefer natural oils like this because of its longevity and feel. However, I would *not* recommend using latex gloves with sunflower oil because the oil can degrade the latex, which can risk an infection for your partner. If y...

spreading out is difficult... i cant help but fear losing her if i try anything like that. i feel like her leaving could happen at any time, and that causes me to second guess everything. This is definitely familiar to me -- it can be hard to build other emotional supports when you fear that turnin...

Hey there Yani, As I'm not your medical provider, I can't say definitively whether or not your girlfriend is pregnant/your conclusion is correct. However, if she's had withdrawal bleeds since your last sexual encounter and her pregnancy test came back negative after ~a month of not having sex, it se...

Hey Sky, I'm sorry to hear that your periods are so difficult for you. Menstrual suppression is definitely one way to help with any distress around periods and gender. Hormonal IUDs, like Mirena and Skyla, can make your periods lighter, or even make them go away (though we can't guarantee that this ...

Hey Shadowsong, I really get how difficult and painful it can be to figure out what you want or need when you feel like you've been following the advice or desires of others for a long time. It can take practice, but it's really helpful to learn to check in with yourself and try to tune out others -...

Hey Sky, I'm really sorry to hear that you're in pain. I'm glad that you're taking some time at home to let your body recover. Recalling something Heather mentioned earlier, and something I know you've talked about with us before -- can we talk through why you feel you need to continue working at th...

Hey AStranger, I can definitely identify with this process: It's been very present in my sessions,the whole "I want to know why I do/feel x and then provide exact measures to fix it". How do you just.....Feel?? It's something I've confronted in myself many times. I always want a list of st...

Hi there Jon, Let's start with what we know! I think it can be hard, when hearing secondhand information, to root yourself in what is truth , what is inference, and how to go from there. From what I'm hearing, this sounds like what we've got (and please correct me if I'm wrong!): 1. There is a possi...

Hey MusicNerd, I'm sorry you had that experience on a dating app. That's not fun. It's unfortunate that people use the internet to protect themselves from important conversations with other folks. I feel you -- finding queer scenes outside of bars can be difficult! I'm not sure what the area you liv...

Hey there Soeleo, I'm glad you came to us with your questions! You're in the right place. I'll try to approach them in the order you listed them. 1) BDSM is definitely not *only* an interest of people who have been assaulted or abused. Many people are kinky, for a variety of reasons. It's normal and...

Hey Lesbian321, I want to start by saying that I'm glad you two are taking necessary precautions during the pandemic and staying physically apart, even though I know it sucks. You're doing the right thing. It sounds like your girlfriend is having trouble with direct communication around sex. That's ...

Seconding what Sam said -- little things from my own abuse still come up every once and a while when something reminds me of it, now that I'm no longer repressing those memories. Now that I'm farther away from my own abuse, I like to take those opportunities to remind myself how much better things a...

Hey there, First of all, I want to point you towards some of our great articles on masturbation that might help you out! Our intro article is Going Solo: The Basics of Masturbation , and it's very helpful. We also have quick but useful answer to another question about pain while masturbating. Having...

Hey boopboopboop! First of all, *none* of this is TMI. This is what we do here, and we're happy to help! I'm so glad that you've been able to get to a better place. Having a safe place to talk about desire, kink, etc. is so important, in part because if we learn over time that these things are okay ...

First of all, so glad you got a psychiatry appointment! I hope it gives you some clarity. I'm really glad your mom is there for you and that you're not feeling as alone. It's so important to have someone at home to hold you, physically and/or emotionally, when those breakdowns happen. I don't think ...