Search found 6420 matches

by Sam W
Tue Apr 27, 2021 6:55 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Am I just victimizing myself?
Replies: 10
Views: 268

Re: Am I just victimizing myself?

Hi FestiveFestoon, I'm glad the article was helpful! I think practicing setting smaller boundaries as you work up to tackling this is a great plan. Given how you've described her, is this friend someone you want to stay friends with at all? In other words, are there things about the friendship that ...
by Sam W
Mon Apr 26, 2021 8:11 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions
Replies: 26
Views: 682

Re: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions

It's tricky, because gauging whether a person is interested in friendship rather than sex usually involves explicit communication at some point. That being said, if you haven't already read it, this article offers some general advice for spotting signs that someone is interested in you romantically ...
by Sam W
Mon Apr 26, 2021 7:59 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Actual relationship issues or is it in my head???
Replies: 4
Views: 187

Re: Actual relationship issues or is it in my head???

Hi Hel, I think it's very sound to recognize that a lot of this anxiety is tied to a past relationship, and that talking about that with a therapist will probably be helpful. I do want to add that something that can be helpful to remember when it comes to texts or other messages is that it's very co...
by Sam W
Mon Apr 26, 2021 7:19 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions
Replies: 26
Views: 682

Re: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions

I think continuing to read and work with your therapist when possible around unlearning the thought patterns that contribute to you feeling like you won't ever find a partner is a sound idea.

Is there anything else we can help you with around this right now?
by Sam W
Mon Apr 26, 2021 7:05 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Am I just victimizing myself?
Replies: 10
Views: 268

Re: Am I just victimizing myself?

Hi FestiveFestoon, I wouldn't say you're victimizing yourself; it sounds like you're having an understandable reaction to some super-generalized and ultra-unhelpful messages about gender. Before I dive into the rest of your question, since you mention you've been self-harming lately, do you have men...
by Sam W
Sat Apr 24, 2021 8:16 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions
Replies: 26
Views: 682

Re: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions

Hi BuddyBoi21, I'm glad you and your therapist have touched on this, even though it sounds like scheduling sessions with her has been tricky. That's a great step in taking care of yourself. I'm a pretty firm believer in the idea that lust isn't just the less complex, less important cousin of love; s...
by Sam W
Sat Apr 24, 2021 7:29 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 735

Re: Need some comfort

Hi flores2231,

I'm glad talking here has been helpful, and I hope that time of self-reflection helps you out. Is there anything else we can help you with around this (or anything else) right now?
by Sam W
Fri Apr 23, 2021 6:54 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: How to make my breasts bigger? Please help!
Replies: 11
Views: 777

Re: How to make my breasts bigger? Please help!

Hi Jenny01, I'm sorry that this is making you feel that way, so let's see if we can brainstorm some ways to help with that. For starters, are there things you can do to help you feel more feminine or attractive that don't have to do with your breasts? I ask because when you're feeling down about a c...
by Sam W
Tue Apr 20, 2021 7:33 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 735

Re: Need some comfort

I'm glad that framing helped! And I think it's really sound on your part to realize that some of the anxiety you're feeling is your brain processing what happened. Would it be helpful to talk about when and how to break-up with him here? You could also talk through your options with your therapist, ...
by Sam W
Tue Apr 20, 2021 6:47 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Need some comfort
Replies: 34
Views: 735

Re: Need some comfort

Hi flores2231, Those are all completely understandable ways to be feeling right now. I want to reiterate what Mo said, which is that someone who has good qualities or someone we love can make a choice that hurts us. That can be incredibly hard to accept, and it's okay if you need to take time to pro...
by Sam W
Mon Apr 19, 2021 11:36 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: question about mens sexual health
Replies: 13
Views: 243

Re: question about mens sexual health

You're welcome!
by Sam W
Mon Apr 19, 2021 11:25 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: question about mens sexual health
Replies: 13
Views: 243

Re: question about mens sexual health

That's correct; unless you ejaculated or had pre-ejaculate recently, semen can't be on the outside of your penis.
by Sam W
Mon Apr 19, 2021 11:22 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I literally can't feel any pleasure when I try to masturbate
Replies: 7
Views: 408

Re: I literally can't feel any pleasure when I try to masturbate

I think that's a really useful insight! While lots of people enjoy masturbating, there are plenty of folks who find it's not really for them, or that they only enjoy it under very certain circumstances. So, there's nothing wrong with taking a break from it, or not doing it at all if that's what feel...
by Sam W
Mon Apr 19, 2021 11:01 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: question about mens sexual health
Replies: 13
Views: 243

Re: question about mens sexual health

So, sperm needs either ejaculate or pre-ejaculate to come out of the penis, so if you woke up and didn't notice other signs of a wet dream, then that's unlikely to be what happened. Too, if this has only happened once and it isn't causing discomfort, then it's unlikely to be cause for concern.
by Sam W
Mon Apr 19, 2021 10:31 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: question about mens sexual health
Replies: 13
Views: 243

Re: question about mens sexual health

If you've recently ejaculated and it wasn't in your underwear then yes, it's possible for dried ejaculate to be on the penis.
by Sam W
Mon Apr 19, 2021 7:41 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I literally can't feel any pleasure when I try to masturbate
Replies: 7
Views: 408

Re: I literally can't feel any pleasure when I try to masturbate

Hi Magdalena, It sounds like you've been trying a lot of different things, which is a great way of approaching this! To make sure I'm understanding correctly, is it that you're not feeling any sensation at all, or more that you're not feeling anything pleasurable? Since you mention you might be inte...
by Sam W
Mon Apr 19, 2021 7:22 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sexual pleasure
Replies: 1
Views: 145

Re: Sexual pleasure

Hi Ennie8972, It sounds like you've been following a lot of the recommendations we give folks around finding a way of masturbating that feels good to them, which I imagine makes it more frustrating to feel like you aren't getting anywhere. Can you give me a sense of whether you're able to feel prett...
by Sam W
Mon Apr 19, 2021 7:17 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I don't feel anything physically during sexual activity
Replies: 8
Views: 443

Re: I don't feel anything physically during sexual activity

I'm glad you're exploring Queer Grace, even if there's some discomfort; that's a big step, both in terms of feeling comfortable with your identity and in figuring out how you want your faith to influence your relationship with sex and sexuality. It's great that you've been doing so much reading and ...
by Sam W
Mon Apr 19, 2021 7:01 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: question about mens sexual health
Replies: 13
Views: 243

Re: question about mens sexual health

Hi coolkid8289, We can't say for certain what these are, since we can't diagnose people over the internet. If you take a look at this article (which covers things beyond bumps), do any of the things described in it match what you're noticing:https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/what_are_these_b...
by Sam W
Sun Apr 18, 2021 9:24 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I don't feel anything physically during sexual activity
Replies: 8
Views: 443

Re: I don't feel anything physically during sexual activity

Hi themoonandstars, Being raised with really conservative views around sex can for sure make sex less pleasurable, or make it hard to enjoy being with a partner. Our brains are our biggest sexual organs, so if some part of yours is repeating those negative messages about sex, that can kill any pleas...
by Sam W
Sat Apr 17, 2021 8:43 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How to get over accidental anal fear
Replies: 6
Views: 278

Re: How to get over accidental anal fear

You're welcome! If you decide you want to put something in place to act as a block, the safe thing to use would be a butt-plug, since they're designed specifically to be safe for anal use. If you end up going that route, I'd test it out ahead of time so you can make sure it's something that's comfor...
by Sam W
Sat Apr 17, 2021 7:49 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How to get over accidental anal fear
Replies: 6
Views: 278

Re: How to get over accidental anal fear

Hi Emilia, Thanks so much for those kind words! And ouch, I can see why this experience would leave you a little nervous. There are a few different things you could try that might help keep it from happening again and help you feel more relaxed. One would be to experiment with going slower during se...
by Sam W
Fri Apr 16, 2021 7:01 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Can't private message?
Replies: 1
Views: 139

Re: Can't private message?

Hi Dreamlore,

For safety reasons, we don't allow private messages between users, so that isn't an authorization we can give you.
by Sam W
Tue Apr 13, 2021 7:46 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Casual sex as a virgin
Replies: 9
Views: 396

Re: Casual sex as a virgin

That's totally okay! And I'm glad you feel like you can take your time (especially since the pandemic means that casual sex or dating can be extra tricky). If you're interested, these articles can also be really helpful when it comes to navigating partnered sex and figuring what you (and are not) re...
by Sam W
Tue Apr 13, 2021 7:05 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Casual sex as a virgin
Replies: 9
Views: 396

Re: Casual sex as a virgin

Hi Kt15, This article is a really good starting point, as it goes over how to navigate casual: Casual...Cool? Making Choices About Casual Sex . It can also help to think about what you're hoping will happen as a result of casual sex; is it that you feel ready and excited to start exploring your sexu...

Can't find what you're looking for? Try searching our old board archive or our main site.

Go to advanced search