Search found 7112 matches

by Heather
Wed May 19, 2021 2:33 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 58
Views: 4536

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Actually, a couple quick questions first, if you don't mind!' 1) Would you say that you have a similar experience as you do with what you're calling sexual pleasure with all kinds of physical/sensory pleasure? Does it feel good to you, like on your hands, to touch your partner? Do you get pleasure i...
by Heather
Wed May 19, 2021 2:20 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 58
Views: 4536

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

I'm so sorry to hear that you have felt that way, but I'm really happy to hear that you feel open to trying to come at it from a place of self-acceptance. I honestly feel like no matter where that lands you, it really is the best place to start. I have to grab a quick half hour meeting, but then I w...
by Heather
Wed May 19, 2021 12:25 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 58
Views: 4536

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Hey there, sandpiper. This was a lot of very vulnerable and personal stuff to share, and I appreciate and honor the amount of trust you put in us sharing it. I'm so sorry you're feeling so alone, and I'm sorry you're feeling broken. I hope I can help with both. I'd like to start by assuming that the...
by Heather
Wed May 19, 2021 8:07 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: I'm going to juvie because I did something stupid
Replies: 8
Views: 2924

Re: I'm going to juvie because I did something stupid

How you doing today, AllieKat?
by Heather
Wed May 19, 2021 8:06 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sex Ed Books That Promote Inclusion of All Genders
Replies: 7
Views: 1951

Re: Sex Ed Books That Promote Inclusion of All Genders

Just FYI, there are more than two sexes! :). There are a lot of sources of information about this, but this one looks like a good primer to start with if you're in need of one: https://massivesci.com/articles/sex-gender-intersex-transgender-identity-discrimination-title-ix/ I think that Sex is a Fun...
by Heather
Tue May 18, 2021 11:07 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sex Ed Books That Promote Inclusion of All Genders
Replies: 7
Views: 1951

Re: Sex Ed Books That Promote Inclusion of All Genders

I think that it's also worth considering that for those younger than tweens, "sex" books aren't usually going to be "sex" books at all because those often won't be developmentally appropriate or what kids really need in earlier childhood. Instead, those books will be more like bo...
by Heather
Mon May 17, 2021 11:57 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: I'm going to juvie because I did something stupid
Replies: 8
Views: 2924

Re: I'm going to juvie because I did something stupid

Sorry to be a day behind! Been having some reactions to my second vaccine. Bleck. I hear you on the irony, but I also think that’s a good approach — seeing what this place offers you that you actually want or could use anyway to help you while you’re there, on the other side, or just plain pass the ...
by Heather
Sat May 15, 2021 3:31 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Sexually (really , really) frustrated
Replies: 5
Views: 2643

Re: Sexually (really , really) frustrated

I do agree with Sam that it actually sounds like given the headspace you were in, it actually might not have been so great to be with a partner in that space? It just sounds like you would have been having a very difficult time really making space for that other person as another person rather than ...
by Heather
Sat May 15, 2021 3:23 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: I'm going to juvie because I did something stupid
Replies: 8
Views: 2924

Re: I'm going to juvie because I did something stupid

I totally understand both of those fears (I'm claustrophobic, so I really get that.) In terms of the first, generally most short-term juvenile detention centers are NOT particularly violent, especially the less marginalized you are (that's a terrible inequity that is not right, but I'm just engaging...
by Heather
Sat May 15, 2021 1:25 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: I'm going to juvie because I did something stupid
Replies: 8
Views: 2924

Re: I'm going to juvie because I did something stupid

Oh, AllieKat, I'm so sorry to hear this. You are absolutely not the first user who has come here in a similar spot, and I am glad to do whatever I can to help support you now. I/we are also glad to do whatever we can to help support you as you get ready for your time in juvie, and, if you have any a...
by Heather
Fri May 14, 2021 8:51 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Genderflux, but my family is anti-enby
Replies: 13
Views: 1984

Re: Genderflux, but my family is anti-enby

I'm so sorry it took me so long to circle back! Had a sick pet emergency here again, which then resulted in a no-sleep issue on my part and just messed up my whole week. I'm sorry it meant you had to wait on me. You know, you said something about your Dad that sounds SO like mine in some ways: Your ...
by Heather
Mon May 10, 2021 11:16 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Struggling to keep my weight gain fantasies under control
Replies: 16
Views: 2629

Re: Struggling to keep my weight gain fantasies under control

I get it. It's no doubt extra tricky in pandemic-times. This kind of thing is one of those I think is really a matter of figuring out what does that for you. For some folks, masturbation takes care of them for a while, while for others that only makes them feel more focused. Something that gets a pe...
by Heather
Mon May 10, 2021 11:07 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Loosing V Card (white Hymen)
Replies: 5
Views: 1416

Re: Loosing V Card (white Hymen)

Okay, so for sure, it sounds like you're missing a handful of things and it's not at all surprising that you're having spotting. To be clear and sum up, the things that you are or aren't doing that are likely the culprits here are that: a) You're not ever using a lubricant. b) You're not being gradu...
by Heather
Mon May 10, 2021 10:59 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: my guilt is eating me up alive
Replies: 25
Views: 2396

Re: my guilt is eating me up alive

I feel like engaging with you on this is counter to the aim of helping you, since what's most likely to help you is NOT continuing to obsessively focus on this, you know? How about this: since it probably isn't a very good idea for you to be sexual with your partner right now given all of this -- I ...
by Heather
Sun May 09, 2021 12:35 pm
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Is expired lube safe.
Replies: 4
Views: 1275

Re: Is expired lube safe.

Yeah, it still shouldn't smell. Two years is a long time. I'd skip it. In the event you have a penis, you probably have loads of things that can be used as lubes in the house already anyway: olive or vegetable oil, body oil or lotion, or hair conditioner are all safe, healthy and also effective thin...
by Heather
Sun May 09, 2021 11:54 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: my guilt is eating me up alive
Replies: 25
Views: 2396

Re: my guilt is eating me up alive

You're welcome, but I'm so sorry that there isn't more I can do. There is, however, more a mental healthcare professional can do for you. At the point that one has identified obsessive thinking, they'll also know that trying to talk you into recognizing that it isn't rational is futile. That's part ...
by Heather
Sun May 09, 2021 10:54 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: my guilt is eating me up alive
Replies: 25
Views: 2396

Re: my guilt is eating me up alive

What you're saying in your last sentence sounds like a very correct description of what's happening here, which is why I am honestly surprised to hear that that's all your therapist said about this. Have you told them how pervasive these thoughts are? Because this sounds, to me, like it is clearly a...
by Heather
Sun May 09, 2021 10:24 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Loosing V Card (white Hymen)
Replies: 5
Views: 1416

Re: Loosing V Card (white Hymen)

Happy to help. So, it sounds like you're saying you didn't use lubricant, but only relied on what your body made. If so, that's probably one part of why this spotting is happening: I'd say most people need lube, and if you're using condoms, then ALL people need lube. The lube bodies make doesn't rea...
by Heather
Sun May 09, 2021 10:20 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Is expired lube safe.
Replies: 4
Views: 1275

Re: Is expired lube safe.

How expired is expired in this case? Six months? Five years? Does it smell? Does it look okay?
by Heather
Sun May 09, 2021 10:19 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Genderflux, but my family is anti-enby
Replies: 13
Views: 1984

Re: Genderflux, but my family is anti-enby

Hey there, nerd. I just wanted to come in today to give you some solidarity, especially...well, today. I'm 51. I left my Mom's house when I was 15, and stopped living with my Dad at 19, but I've had to support him and have him live with me sometimes a few different times in my life. But I've been on...
by Heather
Sun May 09, 2021 10:01 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: my guilt is eating me up alive
Replies: 25
Views: 2396

Re: my guilt is eating me up alive

Hey there, haikyufan. I really think that this sounds like a level of guilt that is so severe, pervasive, and intrusive, and so misaligned with what it's attached to (in this case, situations where your partner is assuring you that they do not feel violations have occurred) that we are not the right...
by Heather
Sat May 08, 2021 8:01 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Minors & Sex
Replies: 8
Views: 1531

Re: Minors & Sex

Can I ask in what capacity/role you were hired to work with the younger sister? Do you have a supervisor or supervising agency for *that* job? If so, that is who I would report this to. Either way, if you are in their home as a social worker, regardless of who you are there to see, I do think you ar...
by Heather
Sat May 08, 2021 7:51 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Regretting a threesome with my boyfriend
Replies: 14
Views: 12614

Re: Regretting a threesome with my boyfriend

Hey there, Chanelle. I'm sorry that this went this way for you. Unfortunately, sometimes when we try new sexual things, they don't always go as we want or expect. Threesomes are something where I'd say that people can often particularly have expectations that often don't match up to reality, especia...
by Heather
Sat May 08, 2021 7:43 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Loosing V Card (white Hymen)
Replies: 5
Views: 1416

Re: Loosing V Card (white Hymen)

Hey there, Tinkerbell. So, the hymen is actually not right at the opening, but rather, usually inside the opening. And when you can see any of what's left of it -- by the time someone's having sex, it usually will be pretty hard to distinguish from the vaginal opening because much of it will have wo...

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