Okay, so one option would be to experiment to see if there are things you can do to extend that period of enjoyment. That might be starting and stopping, or taking things slower to see if that leads to the throbbing taking more time before it happens.

Hi Mika, If you're looking specifically for dating options or options where it might lead to romance, then right now those options are pretty limited since a lot of platforms are for those 18 and older. You're right that places like Trevor Project are more for crisis or peer support; and the boards ...

Hi LostInTheSoup, I can certainly point you towards some potential resources! Too, I think that while being trans AND being relatively inexperienced with dating can make for a certain kind of tricky combination, a lot of the information out there about approaching sex and dating with limited experie...

Hi LowSea7204,

When you went to the doctor and got the steroid cream, did they give you any information on what they thought the cause might be? Too, have the two of you tried to see if using a condom makes this reaction more or less likely?

Got it. So, I do think that if you're in situation where you would not be supported if you came out, or you might be punished for it, that as frustrating as it is pursuing a relationship with him might not be the safest call for you right now. Do you feel like you and he could talk about what happen...

I'm so glad we we're able to help, and that you had a positive masturbation experience!

Hi John, I'm sorry to hear you're stuck trying to make sense of your sexual orientation in such a hostile climate, including within your own family. It sounds like there are two overlapping concerns here: one is how to proceed with this friend, the other is how to cope with your feelings more genera...

Hi bikinksterboy, So, since that piece was mine, I can offer a little context on why I chose to answer it the way I did. Part of it is, as you noted, is due to the fact that we don't tend to give step by step or really detailed instructions on how to do specific, sexual things. The main reason for t...

You're welcome!

Got it. So, you're already doing one of the things I'd recommend, which is stopping masturbation when this happens since, as you said, there's not point in continuing if you're no longer enjoying yourself. If you want to extend pleasure prior to that throbbing kicking in, have you noticed if there's...

Hi PleaseHelpAsap,

To make sure I'm understanding you correctly, is it that the throbbing means a dulling of sensation? Or like it almost goes numb?

Hi Itsmemimsey, It does sound like you're likely getting "stuck" in the plateau phase of sexual response (you can read more about what that is here: Sexual Response & Orgasm: A Users Guide ),which can for sure be frustrating! During masturbation, what would you say your brain is genera...

Hi Yohanz, Period irregularity is really common, especially in the first few years of someone having it. Even just looking at the other cycle lengths, you can see that she's someone who has quite a bit of variation in the length of her menstrual cycle. So this in and of itself isn't cause for concern.

Hi Whispermae, I'm so sorry this guy was not only dishonest with you, but that you didn't feel safe during the interaction. You mention he had no idea due to you smiling and saying yes, but does your body language or movement change at all? I promise that this doesn't have to be how these interactio...

Hi emmajones2, I'm sorry that this guy wasn't honest with you about his sexual history; that's a really crummy thing to do to a partner, especially if you're the one pushing to not use a condom. As much as you can, try not to beat yourself up for that choice; your partner withheld important informat...

Hi artistkitty, There are a few different things you could try. One could be to keep exploring different kinds of sexual media (for instance, maybe visual or auditory sexual media is more arousing for you than written media) and experimenting with different fantasies. I really like the advice in thi...

You're welcome!

Hi Nat, Given the experiences you had, I can absolutely understand why this would leave you frustrated, and I don't think it's a bad thing to have that reaction to things that are, well, frustrating. Sadly, being part of the bigger queer community doesn't automatically mean someone will be understan...

Hi Lime_time, With masturbation, I think some of what you're experiencing is basically a learning curve; if this is all fairly new to you, you're still probably in the process of figuring out what your body and brain do and don't find pleasurable while masturbating. So, as you continue trying things...

Got it. So, that's a combination pill, which means that there's a 12 hour grace period before it's even considered late, and a 24 hour grace period before it's considered missed. Taking one pill late isn't going to decrease the effectiveness of the method, so you can assume you still had protection ...

You know, if that's the case, then these might not be the group of people to talk about sex and related topics with, period. And that's okay! We all have things where we're only comfortable talking about them with a specific group of people or a specific person.

Are you able to tell me the brand?

I think it's very insightful to have spotted that some of that fear you feel when other people show you affection or intimacy is tied to you not wanting to enact the same kind of discomfort on others that was done to you in the past. That's really common for people who have survived abusive or toxic...

Hi Runmelon51,

Just to make sure I'm giving you the right answer, are you on the combination pill? Or are you on the mini-pill?

Hi Demigirl, I'm happy to provide some starting places for those books! A few I like personally include the LumberJanes series, "Redefining Realness" (which is non-fiction but her romantic relationship is a happy one), and "Stage Dreams" by Melanie Gilman. This list from Autostra...