Hi there cassie! Welcome to the site... I'm sorry this has been stressing you out. I will say that your fantasies and your mind are completely private and personal to you. It can be a little scary when something we weren't expecting or which feels unfamiliar appear in our fantasies, but it's ok... t...

Hi there! Indeed, as far as I'm aware, the nature of chemistry and the universal laws of physics have not changed since last year! Seeing as you already had the answer to this question I think it might be worth reminding yourself that when we find ourselves asking the sorts of questions which know t...

Hi Cat, just dropping in to say that wanting support in calming down makes total sense, it can be grounding just to be around other people... and that it's good you're open to asking him, as Sam suggested. Talking about things almost always a step in the right direction.

Hi there and welcome! I honestly wouldn't support the idea that condomless intercourse is a milestone that we should be waiting for in any sexual relatonship, simply because they pretty much always offer a barrier to the transmission of STIs. From a health point of view they're almost always a good ...

EDIT: I didnt mean this to be my life story, but once I started writing bits it got longer! Hopefully it can at least be helpful to someone to know what a 30 year gender journey can look like. I think about my evolution mostly through clothes. When I was really small I didn't realise that things wer...

What jazzy said! There is no 'too old' to find yourself in a situation with a person when you want to do something new including any sort of sexual intimacy 22, 33, 66, whatever. So holding off, when you weren't feeling ready probably will have given you the space to for it to be more ok, when you e...

Hi A! So firstly I felt a little bad when you said "I'm just not sure what my deal is" ... I don't think there is a deal just because we don't want to date the people who are approaching us at a certain time! It could have just been you were just plain not into any of these boys and that i...

Did you get a look at the peice Heather shared? It defines intimacy very very broadly. Including non-physical, non-sexual stuff.

I just wanted to add Raffles that it can be good to lay the groundwork for future, like talking about things in the abstract rather than direct conversations which feel like they won't go well... Is that something you'd consider? I know for me it has helped if I can say I've "put it out there&q...

I was just about to jump in with an answer but I see everyone else got there! Glad it was helpful GS.

Aside from lube, patience, and knowing-when-to-quit, my advice is sorta limited!

Maybe it's something that can't be a big part of your sex life if it only feels like it clicks and feels good rarely?

Yep, Treatment would include therapy, which you've said you're looking for an appropriate person with. When I say healing I mean the the types of improvements in mood, health and whatnot that can happen when we are having a break from stressful situations, whether that's time off work, time off sex,...

Hi Gerard!

There's some quit soft tissue up there so yup it sounds like you've cut yourself a little. I wouldn't worry about it massively but in future, maybe use lube, perhaps gloves and certainly clip those finger nails.

Hi! I would guess, seeing as this hasn't happened to you, that your technique is probably fine. It is a fairly rare injury, but is one which makes a very memorable image, which is probably why you find yourself thinking about it. I imagine that when it has happened it's been the result of an acciden...

Mo wasn't saying anything about "the rest of your life". I am sure you don't intend to sound accusatory, but please try to remember that we are volunteers offering insight and it can be quite hurtful to be paraphrased in such a way. Seeing improvements will almost certainly have to involve...

I'm glad you've managed to see people who are well respected, but being considered the best by some in their field in general (i.e. with many patients, and/or in their research or writing) doesn't mean that their specialisms or style are a perfect match for you as an individual unique person. I thin...

Hi ShadowSong, sorry you're having such a crap time! I have to agree with Sam, that I don't think you've been getting the best care here. Being assessed psychologically to qualify for your gender to be recognised sounds to me a lot more like it was focussed on complying with gatekeeping policies aro...

^ This is off-topic, but I just want to say it's good to see you here and if you'd like to talk on chat or by email, I know I and other folks on the staff would be really happy to!

Hi Lola! I'm afraid there's no magic crow-bar to open a partner's mind with. It's really his responsibility to push himself to recognise the limits of his guesswork around what an asexual person is thinking. Really any conversation where someone is being strongly opinionated about the validity of a ...

I think it's worth just thinking about how deeply different religious organisations have shaped non-religious aspects of culture and beliefs. Really the whole idea of virginity is a cultural one; it's based on beliefs, even if the'yre not religious. The belief that there's a 'thing' you 'have' and t...

Those of you who follow us on Instagram will know we've started asking our followers to throw questions our way so we can answer with videos. When we post a call for questions there is only 24 hours to get your answers in (this week there is 2 hours left!) To ask us a question follow us on @scarlete...

Hi Kitty! I feel like, for those of us aware of how intense dating, and being asked out can be for women, it does heighten worries of not wanting to seem like one of those creepy people if we do want to approach them. I think that's a reasonable thing to feel. That hesitance could even mean you tend...

Hi ConfusedGirl! I am not aware of any coronavirus related restrictions on seeking an abortion in the USA. Sadly in many states abortion access is already quite restricted, corona virus aside, so even though I don't have the numbers, I imagine there could be delays accessing care if say, the would-b...

Hi ConfusedGirl! Firstly, well done for making this decision! It's not easy but it sounds like you are trully feeling ready for it. I'm happy to welcome you to Scarleteen. I've just moved your other post here as it seems to be related: Does it count as emotional abuse if my boyfriend calls me "...

Hi woflcub, Thank you for writing this! I wish more people were able to read about that case and use it to question their own language, attitudes and behaviours. I also think it's great you and your mom have a relationship where you were able to communicate about the situation here. Her giving you t...