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- by Urna
- Sun Jan 16, 2022 8:59 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Embarrassed when doing sports
- Replies: 5
- Views: 1141
I understand. Try thinking about boring things, yeah, there really isn't much else one can do to fix this. Sorry!
- by Urna
- Sun Jan 16, 2022 8:34 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Embarrassed when doing sports
- Replies: 5
- Views: 1141
I hear you about the embarrassment that someone will notice. Unfortunately, the best remedy is to slowly train yourself to stop thinking about sexual things when you get hard in a non-sexual situation like sports. Try thinking about gross things, or about really mundane things like times tables or s...
- by Urna
- Sun Jan 16, 2022 7:12 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Embarrassed when doing sports
- Replies: 5
- Views: 1141
Hi otter8, This isn't uncommon! I would chalk it up to the adrenaline, and to certain muscles flexing. In some contact sports, like wrestling, this is quite normal, and is usually completely non-sexual. Also, you're currently going through puberty, right? Random and frequent erections are quite comm...
- by Urna
- Tue Dec 28, 2021 8:23 am
- Forum: Sex & Sexuality
- Topic: Confusion about condom usage
- Replies: 3
- Views: 2547
Hi ivleo, Yes, it can get confusing, mostly because there's a lot of fearmongering and misinformation out there, I think! But then again, bodies are so variable, and reproductive systems are no exception. Lube doesn't actually limit sperm, it just slows it down and limits its ability to move spontan...
- by Urna
- Mon Dec 27, 2021 3:25 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Help? Not sure how to feel anything while masturbating this way.
- Replies: 3
- Views: 1710
Hello Amara23, and welcome to Scarleteen! The fact that fingering doesn't feel like anything special for you is completely normal. In their response to another user who had the same issue as you, our founder Heather explained why it's completely normal for many people with vaginas to not feel much a...
- by Urna
- Mon Dec 27, 2021 2:48 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Think I have hot guy amnesia
- Replies: 25
- Views: 14370
Hello spottedowl, Thank you for sharing your vulnerable moments with us. I understand the heartbreak that comes with being stonewalled by people with whom you once shared such deep and dynamic relationships, and it sucks that their stonewalling isn't really blameworthy--they were stonewalled by you ...
- by Urna
- Fri Dec 24, 2021 4:18 am
- Forum: Relationships
- Topic: how to move on
- Replies: 9
- Views: 2517
Then I think you should really consider talking to them about your loneliness and not being able to move on. Your therapist is trained, as Sofi said, to help you with stuff you're going through, and I can guarantee that the topic of romance and heartbreak is something that they won't find awkward to...
- by Urna
- Sun Dec 19, 2021 12:10 am
- Forum: Sexual Identity
- Topic: can i be a lesbian if im sexually attracted to guys?
- Replies: 7
- Views: 49681
Hello skzly, and welcome to Scarleteen! The disconnect you're experiencing between your sexuality and your continuing fantasies about men is a very common experience among lesbian people, especially those who have realized their lesbianism in adolescence or adulthood, as you have. Almost all of us a...
- by Urna
- Sat Dec 18, 2021 10:22 pm
- Forum: Relationships
- Topic: Reconnecting With Someone
- Replies: 68
- Views: 23689
Hi MusicNerd,
This is great news, thanks for the update! It's lovely to hear that your response to their state of mind was closure and relief, and it's even better that you feel free now to immerse yourself fully in dating other people. Good for you!
- by Urna
- Thu Dec 09, 2021 6:23 am
- Forum: Sex & Sexuality
- Topic: no sensation when masturbating
- Replies: 35
- Views: 6260
Hello Crow, Some techniques that hyposensitive people may use for sensory regulation are: eating strong-tasting foods (esp. super spicy, sour, and bitter foods), chewing ice, using weighted blankets (or piling on lots of blankets, or having someone lay on you [if you're both comfortable with it and ...
- by Urna
- Sun Nov 28, 2021 7:32 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Managed to do it a bit
- Replies: 5
- Views: 1084
Hi misokosou,
That's a great idea! Sex, whether solo or partnered, should only be about pleasure, and not about conforming or battling FOMO. Good for you on deciding to take a break from trying.
- by Urna
- Sun Nov 28, 2021 7:29 am
- Forum: Sexual Health
- Topic: Bottom Dysphoria Weirdness
- Replies: 25
- Views: 10887
Hey, good to have you back kokopeg! You don't have to make a whole new post, this is fine. On the one hand, I'm glad that you've gotten back to masturbation, and that it was fun the first time. On the other, it's really unfortunate that it left you feeling so upset the second time. Before we go any ...
- by Urna
- Sun Nov 28, 2021 7:19 am
- Forum: Relationships
- Topic: GF is ace, unsure of what to do
- Replies: 17
- Views: 4083
Hi Spider Queen, I read through your thread, and I'm really sorry about this breakup. It's great, though, that you've been honest with each other about your expectations and current needs. How do you feel about them saying that they still like you, but not necessarily romantically? Is it comforting ...
- by Urna
- Sun Nov 28, 2021 7:02 am
- Forum: Sex & Sexuality
- Topic: I can only masturbate in one way?
- Replies: 7
- Views: 14116
Hello! Please don't feel inexperienced or embarrassed, the things we're talking about aren't very well-known at all! There are a bunch of stereotypical ways to masturbate that everyone grows up seeing and hearing about, which don't work for many of us out there, and I think it's worth celebrating th...
- by Urna
- Sat Nov 27, 2021 7:42 am
- Forum: Supporting Each Other
- Topic: How do you deal with change?
- Replies: 2
- Views: 4736
Hi spottedowl! Congratulations on steadily moving forward from what sounds like a horribly overwhelming phase in your life. It's clear that you've thought quite carefully about yourself, your needs, and your surroundings, and that's very inspiring to see. Your Sleeping Beauty analogy is quite apt; m...
- by Urna
- Sat Nov 27, 2021 6:48 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Books on reproduction
- Replies: 7
- Views: 1928
Hello Somesh! I completely understand where you're coming from. Luckily, there are good telehealth services available in our country, and many of them are free. Here's a short list, in order of preference:- 1) iCALL Helpline is a free helpline and chat counselling service run by the School of Human ...
- by Urna
- Sun Nov 21, 2021 10:50 am
- Forum: Et Cetera
- Topic: Teen sexually attracted to predatory adults
- Replies: 15
- Views: 7135
Hi mondilebel, and welcome to Scarleteen. You may have noticed that I've removed a word from your original post--I did that because that word attracts horrible trolls to our website, so don't think you did anything wrong by using it! I'm deeply sorry that you went through such a horrible experience,...
- by Urna
- Sun Nov 21, 2021 8:00 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: boyfriend issue?
- Replies: 14
- Views: 3180
Hello Cecilia, I read through your thread, and I must echo Elise: it is 100% not OK that he coerces you into sexual activity, and it's absolutely not true that that's what girlfriends "have to do". Him telling you that you have to do stuff you don't want to do is sexual assault, like Elise...
- by Urna
- Sun Nov 07, 2021 10:20 am
- Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
- Topic: How do I stop being so shallow?
- Replies: 7
- Views: 2158
Hello wolfcub, What are some ways that you've tried to expand your opportunities, aside from the dating site strategy you mentioned? Sorry to hear that it seems like you're stuck in a loop of some sort with regard to finding romantic links that stick. You spoke of your inexperience, and how that's w...
- by Urna
- Sat Nov 06, 2021 3:52 am
- Forum: Ask Us!
- Topic: Just need some reassurance
- Replies: 289
- Views: 43271
Hi sky! I hear what you're saying, and I can appreciate just how hard it must be to get in touch with your feelings as an adult, after having had them consistently sidelined in childhood. Would you mind elaborating on why you're afraid people will be angry if you don't disclose your virginity to the...
- by Urna
- Thu Oct 28, 2021 7:29 am
- Forum: Sexual Health
- Topic: Bottom Dysphoria Weirdness
- Replies: 25
- Views: 10887
Hello kokoPeg, please don't apologize for bringing something else in, that's what we're here for! I'm really sorry that you're experiencing so much distress around masturbation. It sucks, truly. And I think you're right--stopping for the time being sounds like the best thing to do. You're not being ...
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