Search found 147 matches

by Urna
Sun Jan 16, 2022 8:59 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Embarrassed when doing sports
Replies: 5
Views: 1141

Re: Embarrassed when doing sports

I understand. Try thinking about boring things, yeah, there really isn't much else one can do to fix this. Sorry!
by Urna
Sun Jan 16, 2022 8:34 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Embarrassed when doing sports
Replies: 5
Views: 1141

Re: Embarrassed when doing sports

I hear you about the embarrassment that someone will notice. Unfortunately, the best remedy is to slowly train yourself to stop thinking about sexual things when you get hard in a non-sexual situation like sports. Try thinking about gross things, or about really mundane things like times tables or s...
by Urna
Sun Jan 16, 2022 7:12 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Embarrassed when doing sports
Replies: 5
Views: 1141

Re: Embarrassed when doing sports

Hi otter8, This isn't uncommon! I would chalk it up to the adrenaline, and to certain muscles flexing. In some contact sports, like wrestling, this is quite normal, and is usually completely non-sexual. Also, you're currently going through puberty, right? Random and frequent erections are quite comm...
by Urna
Sun Jan 16, 2022 6:54 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: how young is too young to feel arousal?
Replies: 1
Views: 3590

Re: how young is too young to feel arousal?

Hi utgard,

Yes, it's completely normal to feel arousal from a young age. There is no normal starting age per se for arousal and genital pleasure to occur.
by Urna
Tue Dec 28, 2021 8:23 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Confusion about condom usage
Replies: 3
Views: 2547

Re: Confusion about condom usage

Hi ivleo, Yes, it can get confusing, mostly because there's a lot of fearmongering and misinformation out there, I think! But then again, bodies are so variable, and reproductive systems are no exception. Lube doesn't actually limit sperm, it just slows it down and limits its ability to move spontan...
by Urna
Mon Dec 27, 2021 3:25 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Help? Not sure how to feel anything while masturbating this way.
Replies: 3
Views: 1710

Re: Help? Not sure how to feel anything while masturbating this way.

Hello Amara23, and welcome to Scarleteen! The fact that fingering doesn't feel like anything special for you is completely normal. In their response to another user who had the same issue as you, our founder Heather explained why it's completely normal for many people with vaginas to not feel much a...
by Urna
Mon Dec 27, 2021 2:48 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Think I have hot guy amnesia
Replies: 25
Views: 14370

Re: Think I have hot guy amnesia

Hello spottedowl, Thank you for sharing your vulnerable moments with us. I understand the heartbreak that comes with being stonewalled by people with whom you once shared such deep and dynamic relationships, and it sucks that their stonewalling isn't really blameworthy--they were stonewalled by you ...
by Urna
Fri Dec 24, 2021 4:18 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: how to move on
Replies: 9
Views: 2517

Re: how to move on

Then I think you should really consider talking to them about your loneliness and not being able to move on. Your therapist is trained, as Sofi said, to help you with stuff you're going through, and I can guarantee that the topic of romance and heartbreak is something that they won't find awkward to...
by Urna
Fri Dec 24, 2021 4:10 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sex method clarification
Replies: 5
Views: 1456

Re: Sex method clarification

Glad we could help, Somesh!
by Urna
Sun Dec 19, 2021 12:10 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: can i be a lesbian if im sexually attracted to guys?
Replies: 7
Views: 49681

Re: can i be a lesbian if im sexually attracted to guys?

Hello skzly, and welcome to Scarleteen! The disconnect you're experiencing between your sexuality and your continuing fantasies about men is a very common experience among lesbian people, especially those who have realized their lesbianism in adolescence or adulthood, as you have. Almost all of us a...
by Urna
Sat Dec 18, 2021 10:59 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: My girlfriend loves MY oral foreplay, but won't reciprocate, saying she has a small mouth...
Replies: 1
Views: 11449

Re: My girlfriend loves MY oral foreplay, but won't reciprocate, saying she has a small mouth...

Hello TakeControl, At Scarleteen, we think that when someone does not like to perform or receive a particular sex act, they should not be expected or asked to perform/receive it anyway. Your girlfriend has made it clear that she doesn't like to perform oral sex, and she also told you why. You see, s...
by Urna
Sat Dec 18, 2021 10:22 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Reconnecting With Someone
Replies: 68
Views: 23689

Re: Reconnecting With Someone

Hi MusicNerd,

This is great news, thanks for the update! It's lovely to hear that your response to their state of mind was closure and relief, and it's even better that you feel free now to immerse yourself fully in dating other people. Good for you!
by Urna
Thu Dec 09, 2021 6:23 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: no sensation when masturbating
Replies: 35
Views: 6260

Re: no sensation when masturbating

Hello Crow, Some techniques that hyposensitive people may use for sensory regulation are: eating strong-tasting foods (esp. super spicy, sour, and bitter foods), chewing ice, using weighted blankets (or piling on lots of blankets, or having someone lay on you [if you're both comfortable with it and ...
by Urna
Sun Nov 28, 2021 7:32 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Managed to do it a bit
Replies: 5
Views: 1084

Re: Managed to do it a bit

Hi misokosou,

That's a great idea! Sex, whether solo or partnered, should only be about pleasure, and not about conforming or battling FOMO. Good for you on deciding to take a break from trying.
by Urna
Sun Nov 28, 2021 7:29 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Bottom Dysphoria Weirdness
Replies: 25
Views: 10887

Re: Bottom Dysphoria Weirdness

Hey, good to have you back kokopeg! You don't have to make a whole new post, this is fine. On the one hand, I'm glad that you've gotten back to masturbation, and that it was fun the first time. On the other, it's really unfortunate that it left you feeling so upset the second time. Before we go any ...
by Urna
Sun Nov 28, 2021 7:19 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: GF is ace, unsure of what to do
Replies: 17
Views: 4083

Re: GF is ace, unsure of what to do

Hi Spider Queen, I read through your thread, and I'm really sorry about this breakup. It's great, though, that you've been honest with each other about your expectations and current needs. How do you feel about them saying that they still like you, but not necessarily romantically? Is it comforting ...
by Urna
Sun Nov 28, 2021 7:02 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I can only masturbate in one way?
Replies: 7
Views: 14116

Re: I can only masturbate in one way?

Hello! Please don't feel inexperienced or embarrassed, the things we're talking about aren't very well-known at all! There are a bunch of stereotypical ways to masturbate that everyone grows up seeing and hearing about, which don't work for many of us out there, and I think it's worth celebrating th...
by Urna
Sat Nov 27, 2021 7:42 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: How do you deal with change?
Replies: 2
Views: 4736

Re: How do you deal with change?

Hi spottedowl! Congratulations on steadily moving forward from what sounds like a horribly overwhelming phase in your life. It's clear that you've thought quite carefully about yourself, your needs, and your surroundings, and that's very inspiring to see. Your Sleeping Beauty analogy is quite apt; m...
by Urna
Sat Nov 27, 2021 6:48 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Books on reproduction
Replies: 7
Views: 1928

Re: Books on reproduction

Hello Somesh! I completely understand where you're coming from. Luckily, there are good telehealth services available in our country, and many of them are free. Here's a short list, in order of preference:- 1) iCALL Helpline is a free helpline and chat counselling service run by the School of Human ...
by Urna
Sun Nov 21, 2021 10:50 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Teen sexually attracted to predatory adults
Replies: 15
Views: 7135

Re: Teen sexually attracted to pedophiles

Hi mondilebel, and welcome to Scarleteen. You may have noticed that I've removed a word from your original post--I did that because that word attracts horrible trolls to our website, so don't think you did anything wrong by using it! I'm deeply sorry that you went through such a horrible experience,...
by Urna
Sun Nov 21, 2021 8:00 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: boyfriend issue?
Replies: 14
Views: 3180

Re: boyfriend issue?

Hello Cecilia, I read through your thread, and I must echo Elise: it is 100% not OK that he coerces you into sexual activity, and it's absolutely not true that that's what girlfriends "have to do". Him telling you that you have to do stuff you don't want to do is sexual assault, like Elise...
by Urna
Sun Nov 07, 2021 10:20 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: How do I stop being so shallow?
Replies: 7
Views: 2158

Re: How do I stop being so shallow?

Hello wolfcub, What are some ways that you've tried to expand your opportunities, aside from the dating site strategy you mentioned? Sorry to hear that it seems like you're stuck in a loop of some sort with regard to finding romantic links that stick. You spoke of your inexperience, and how that's w...
by Urna
Sun Nov 07, 2021 7:52 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Chinese language resources
Replies: 4
Views: 1278

Re: Chinese language resources

Hello mjlurks,

That sounds fun! Glad to hear that the language barrier isn't too much of an issue.
by Urna
Sat Nov 06, 2021 3:52 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Just need some reassurance
Replies: 289
Views: 43271

Re: Just need some reassurance

Hi sky! I hear what you're saying, and I can appreciate just how hard it must be to get in touch with your feelings as an adult, after having had them consistently sidelined in childhood. Would you mind elaborating on why you're afraid people will be angry if you don't disclose your virginity to the...
by Urna
Thu Oct 28, 2021 7:29 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Bottom Dysphoria Weirdness
Replies: 25
Views: 10887

Re: Bottom Dysphoria Weirdness

Hello kokoPeg, please don't apologize for bringing something else in, that's what we're here for! I'm really sorry that you're experiencing so much distress around masturbation. It sucks, truly. And I think you're right--stopping for the time being sounds like the best thing to do. You're not being ...

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