Hi Suomi, If I recall correctly, I think we talked about ways you could safely explore this fantasy in a past thread. I do have to say that, while Latha made a sound point about harm reduction, from a safety standpoint, we can't recommend that you actually do anything that would involve cutting the ...

Hi naurmi008,

I think it's really sound to have recognized that religious messaging is playing a role here! One really good starting place for addressing pregnancy fears that come from religion is this piece from our Impurity Culture series: Pregnancy and Fear

Hi Kitties774, From the sound of it, it seems like if you wanted to ask your mom for help getting a sex toy, the conversation would be awkward but survivable. She seems to be pretty supportive of you being able to learn about sex and your own body on your own terms, and like she's fairly sex positiv...

Got it. We can't say for certain what's behind this, but it sounds like it may just be part of how your body responds to the exertion and other physical changes that come with masturbation and arousal. As frustrating as it may be, this may be one of those instances where when this happens, if it's t...

Hi Fullcloser, In addition to what Willa said, I want to point out that, at this point, basically any sex toy or similar item is going to come with instructions on how to use it safely. So when or if you do start trying out different items, you have a pretty straightforward way to make sure you're u...

Okay! I'm going to start by giving you some resources on those, and then we can talk more if you have any questions or thoughts on the pieces I share. Risky Business: Learning to Consider Risk and Make Sound, Sexual Choices How to Understand, Identify, and Make Choices about Desire Too, when doing a...

Hi Suomi, I'm sorry that these fantasies are continuing to cause you such distress. I want to start by saying that your fantasies don't make you a terrible person. Our fantasies exist inside our minds and our minds alone; they can't do anyone any harm (or any good, for that matter) unless we act on ...

Hi Kittylemon,

If it would be helpful, we can talk about how to do risk and boundary evaluation around sexual things, because that's what this would ultimately entail if you wanted to explore any of these fantasies, or elements of them, with a partner.

If this is how your erections have always been, and it's not causing you pain, then in all likelihood this is a quirk of your body rather than something to be concerned about. If you wanted to be certain it was or wasn't part of another condition, that would be a question for a healthcare provider. ...

Hi PleaseHelpAsap, I'm glad you feel comfortable enough talking about these things here! I will say that at this point, I think we've offered the realistic approaches to this that are out there. I do think that taking a break, full stop, from trying to masturbate for a bit is probably the one to sta...

Hi CasWasHere, Unless you've recently started a new medication that could have sexual side effects, I suspect this isn't a underlying medical issue and is more some combination of maybe being in a rut with masturbation and/or being in a headspace that makes it less pleasurable overall. When you've t...

Hi Grayyyson,

Do you notice this same tightness in your chest or light headedness at other times?

Hi archanana, While I'm glad you've been having a good conversation with Latha, I do want to note that help with conception is not something we can help you with on our direct services. So if you're looking for support on this, you'll want to try a gynecologist, midwife, doula, other fertility/pregn...

Hi bob.duncan, It's more common for a penis to have some degree of curve (called congenital curvature ) rather than not, so the fact that it's shaped this way isn't in and of itself cause for concern, though it does sound like yours is on the "more curved" end of the scale. That being said...

Thanks for those details! You know, it's okay if you don't fully know how you feel about it; thinks like fantasy and desire can be kind of sticky and don't always stay in defined boxes. Too, as you're already realizing and doing, we don't have to engage with a given fantasy. And sometimes we may eng...

I'm so glad my reply was helpful! If you end up needing more support down the line, about this or other topics, we're happy to talk with you about them.

Hi Nat, So, one approach here might be to have a bigger conversation with your mom about the boundaries that would work for you both when talking about sex. I say that because, even when we have a pretty open and comfortable relationship with a parent, there can still be things it's okay not to disc...

Hi Brendie, As long as the condom did not break or come off, then you can assume it did its job. Too, since you didn't ejaculate, you can also assume you had the amount of protection offered by withdrawal on top of the amount from the condom. That being said, if the condom keeps doing that, that sug...

Hi Kittylemon0, Can I ask if you've taken time to explore what fantasies you might like outside of these ones? It may be that widening the scope of what you fantasize about can help you out in those moments where you don't want to engage with these ones. Too, is it mostly that you're afraid that the...

You're very welcome!

Hi Chicka08, I want to start by saying that I'm so sorry your date chose to assault you. I feel like an important distinction here is that while sexual assault involves sexual contact, it's a very different thing from consensual sex, to the point that we, and many other people, don't consider it sex...

Hi thedarkestnight, It's absolutely okay to talk about all this here, and I want to start by saying that what this person did really wasn't okay, and that I'm sorry your first partner turned out to be someone who behaves this way. For what it's worth, what you're describing does meet the definition ...

Got it, thank you for those details! The good news is, those are all parts of communication that can be learned and practiced. We have a few different articles that I think can act as starting places for learning them, and give you some tips on how to practice them in smaller ways so that the first ...

Hi forest_wave, Those are all really good questions! One helpful starting place for the ones about casual sex in particular is this article of ours, which goes over the different ways a casual, sexual relationship can look and the things to keep in mind when navigating one: https://www.scarleteen.co...

Hi Nat, There are for sure some things you could try to help these conversations be a little easier for both of you (and if she's open to it, there are some great books out there that can help her feel more confident in navigating them from her end). But before we dive into that, can you give me a s...