I think the idea of any kind of development as ahead of/behind is pretty problematic, and can really set people up to feel like any of this is some kind of race or competition. It's not. And all those kinds of development you described there aren't so simple that they really can be quantified like t...

So, it sounds to me, especially given your age, that what's most likely going on right now is just that a) on your own developmental timeline, it may just be too early for you to be having these feelings about others, and b) you're in a headspace at the current time where you're just feeling so much...

I'm finding it a bit hard to know where to get started with this because of the "I just hate everyone," and "things I despise about ____" comments. Can we perhaps start by seeing if that comment about hating everyone is in earnest, and things like never being able to even like so...

I just realized something else that may help you out with this: when people are doing a truly good job about active consenting, one of the many bonuses of that is that you get to worry way less about -isms playing a part in your sexual life. In other words, when everyone involved wants to be doing w...

How recently did you start?

As well, are you also current with your general sexual healthcare, including tests for infections?

Your own masturbation, though, still has no impact on anyone else. And again, what you bring into your sexual life with others is a choice, not something that your fantasies dictate. Your sexual life being positive with others will be about what you do, not about what you think, since your thought w...

To my knowledge, T isn't likely to cause these kinds of changes, but the Depo certainly can cause changes to vaginal secretions, including them looking less clear, because part of how it works is by thickening them. What I'd say is to just keep your eye on this. Changes in color and consistency now ...

I don't know what you're referring to when you say "the article." Why would this be about being selfish? In other words, if someone else enjoys this -- and it's not like we can't enjoy how something feels on body parts other than our genitals, so people often will have good physical feelin...

We can't have people posting pictures here, so no need.

Genital fluids aren't always the same color or consistency. Without knowing what medications you're using, I can't know if changes in genital fluids are a possible side effect.

Are you up-to-date with your sexual healthcare in general?

Okay. So, if you have that feeling of feeling finished, chances are pretty good that you may have been experiencing orgasm. Mind, sometimes people can still feel done with masturbation or partnered sex without orgasm, but more often than not, a feeling of being physically resolved, for lack of a bet...

So, there you go. How about you start by focusing on YOUR feelings and what you know, all by yourself, you want or need to talk about or work on together? And in the meantime, you can tell those outside your relationship that you'd like a break from their feedback and input, because you are finding ...

Welcome to the boards! :) Really, this is one of those things that we tend to figure out over time by just looking at patterns with our experiences. On the whole, while how orgasm feels absolutely varies a lot -- including for any one person from day to day -- for most people, much of the time, it's...

If you just tune out everyone else as much as possible, Kaizen, and look only at your own gut feelings, what do they say?

So, it sounds like "acceptance" is just something, period, you're not at yet. Improvement, after all, is about change. Acceptance is about being okay with how we are just as we are. I want to do a little unpacking about weight, health concerns, and some of what you're hearing in your nursi...

I'm just leaving for the day (but with plans to jump in with this with you tomorrow, if you'd like), but I wonder if it might be helpful, before talking about this more, to reflect on two big things that leaped out at me here: 1) A concern about "most people" and how "most people"...

If someone has menstrual flow, we know their hymen has at least started wearing away, because without some openings in it, flow could not come out of the vagina. And if someone has had their period for at least a few years, we also know they're far enough along in puberty for much of the hymen to li...

Glad to be so.

ShowMeLove, I agree with Ashleah: would that that were obvious! But like so many statements that have been culturally made to be thought of as romantic -- a similar one is something to the tune of, "I just love you so much, it makes me crazy," -- it's often anything but. All too many peopl...

You're welcome!

Even if it's not super-close to you, I'd suggest starting here: http://www.sacenter.org/

If you can get to them to use their services, great. But if not, you can likely get them to refer you to someone closer to you.

I understand that. But again, we can't give you information about what's going on with something like this. You need to be examined by someone in person for that.

It's the other way around: sexual assault/rape is legally defined as something that happens without a yes. Make sense?

(And I'll look into those resources for you shortly!)

I also want to add that, by all means, what you have described here DOES fit the federal definition of sexual assault/rape, and would fit most state legal definitions as well. I tend to find that a lot of the time people think what happened to them doesn't, they simply are not very familiar or curre...

Would you like some help finding services in your areas specifically intended for survivors, Ariel? If so, if you're cool tossing up a zip code here, we're glad to help with that.

The thing about language, period -- not just for this -- is that we get to be as creative with it as we like, especially when using it to describe ourselves. Too, when it comes to terms like this, the thing is that not everyone wants to be super-specific in their shorthand, or finds that shorthand i...