yeah, fair enough. i also scheduled an appointment with my school's career services office, so hopefully they can help, too. thanks for the links, Heather!

i know this is totally random, but i'm basically asking around everywhere to hear from as many folks as possible. and considering there are lots of cool folks here from all over, i figured it couldn't hurt to ask here! :) long story short, i'm graduating college in May (only one more semester, yay! ...

Random Update: so yeah, i don't know what's been going on with the universe lately, but: did you recently happen to write a letter of recommendation about me to some queer folks in my city or something? lol :P if so, thanks so much! haha :D basically, since we last talked my dating life has gotten ...

ah yes, I just read it earlier today-- it definitely has some good info in it, so thanks for pointing me that way!

starting with the first half of your post: yeah, that all makes sense actually, and I could see how you got to reclaiming your sexuality via those points you brought up. and I also think it's really brave of you to have gone after what you wanted despite all those things you mentioned, so I just wan...

no, that wasn't too rambly, don't worry about it! thanks :) so like, as far as making queer spaces not feel "alternative" like.... i'm not gonna lie, i know i seem to always talk about this, but race tends to play a part in how comfortable i'm gonna feel in queer spaces. so, if i'm in a sp...

hey Heather! thanks, i hope for more of the good stuff, too

yeah, sure, if you wanna give any input from that perspective i think that'd be pretty helpful, too. thanks, i appreciate you taking the time to do that!

well, anywho, thanks for taking the time to answer my rambling questions and whatnot, Heather. I really appreciate it!

oh trust me, i've been trying for a very long time to quiet that inner judge, but they're a persistent pain in my butt. :( and (if you can believe it) even though it's gotten a lot less judge-y about a lot of things, it's continuing to be pretty obnoxious about this part of my life, so... idk, maybe...

thanks Heather, that's so nice of you to say, especially considering how bold you are :) I really liked what you said about bringing my writer-self more to my personal-self, but i'm not sure if I can do that, honestly. 'cause when it comes to my writing and my activism, i feel like i'm doing those t...

I've definitely tried counseling, and I'm currently trying to find a new counselor since I haven't been to therapy in a long time (and it's been really hard finding a counselor I'm compatible with), and it helped me become more confident in being more active in pursuing friendships, but I clearly st...

to answer your question at the top: yeah, that sounds about right. I mean you're totally right that it's flawed that there's this idea of only one specific way to "look queer" (and it's a rant I go on pretty regularly considering how white-washed that image is anyway), but idk. I'm way too...

yeah true, there are definitely a lot of those negative messages out there, which intellectually makes total sense but tell that to my feelings. lol hmm, well.... I guess these feelings in part come from those messages, but it's also partly due to the fact that like being sexual with someone else do...

oh jeez, I don't even know how to broach this in a non-embarrassing way, but here goes... :oops: basically, even though masturbation physically feels good for me, mentally/emotionally it really hasn't been feeling great lately. like, I've recently stopped entirely because it makes me feel, I guess.....

aww, thanks Heather! that's really sweet of you to say about me/my mind mm, I wish I could just easily ditch those things, but it's hard sometimes. maybe I'll get better at it in time, who knows

hey Heather! yup, I always do overthink things, so not surprising I'd do this here either. lol thanks

EDIT: made some edits in the last paragraph to make my thoughts a bit clearer.

So, that'd feel comfortable for you because you feel confident about the likelihood of finding a duet partner and it going well for the both of you? yup, basically! Would it make a difference if there was a piece that used a really obscure other instrument, or that was a really obscure style that n...

oh man, Redskies, you shouldn't have brought the sheet music analogy into this, 'cause now you've really got me thinking-- as is apparent in my username. haha :P i guess for me as a musician with the sheet music example it feels different, 'cause: 1. i've played many, many duets/group pieces with pe...

hmm, maybe I'm just overthinking all this and this shows I shouldn't do it. okay, nevermind anything I asked then, thanks anyway. lol

mm, I guess I kinda get what you're saying. Like, I get choosing not to participate in sexual things with someone (like I choose not to take up those creepy old men on their "offers"/displays of power and entitlement to try and make me feel uncomfortable), but I guess I'm kinda confused by...

Hey Snorkmaiden and Redskies, thanks for your non-judgmental responses! I really appreciate it. :) I see what you're saying Snorkmaiden, but I guess I was wondering if you could clarify this part of your list here for me where you said, "that it may help you feel that sex is something you have ...

I saw the "What's in Your Safer Sex Kit?" thread and I didn't want to derail the conversation with a question over there, so I figure I'd post my question related to the topic here: does it seem like it would make sense to prepare a safer sex kit even if I'm currently not/have never been s...

great topic, Mo! I'd say one of my resolutions is to get more into fitness-- I'm trying to start weightlifting once I get over this flu-thing :( and I also really wanna get into kickboxing since I used to do karate for a while and I really miss combat-type stuff. also, i'm trying to find a new couns...

These were really insightful and helpful answers. Thanks so much for writing back, Mo and Redskies! Y'all gave me a lot to think about regarding forgiveness and what that means.