Search found 7251 matches

by Heather
Tue Jul 20, 2021 11:54 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Confused about a girl
Replies: 3
Views: 605

Re: Confused about a girl

I hear that, and I think that's actually a great spot to be in with this. I'd say in person with this one, IMHO. I feel like some eye contact and other body language to let her know that it's all cool and things aren't super awkward might be helpful. I also think that saying what you just said here ...
by Heather
Tue Jul 20, 2021 11:48 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 106
Views: 31952

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

You know, the thing that feels the closest to my version of what you're experiencing with this is my choosing not to parent. So, I'm going to talk about that for a minute in this vein. I actually really like kids and young people, more than a lot of people, even. More than a lot of parents! And I kn...
by Heather
Tue Jul 20, 2021 8:50 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Confused about a girl
Replies: 3
Views: 605

Re: Confused about a girl

Welcome to the boards, forest_wave. Were this me, what I would probably do is figure I'd give this another go when both of us were sober and see how it went then. It could be that, as you said, this was her insecurity coming out with her drinking, or it could be that she doesn't *want* to be dating ...
by Heather
Tue Jul 20, 2021 8:31 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever
Replies: 106
Views: 31952

Re: No Sexual Desire or Pleasure, Ever

Hey there, sandpiper. It's good to see you, though I'm sorry that we're largely seeing you because you're feeling frustrated. I gotta tell you, I am not at all here for the framework of "learning to like sex." Same goes for the idea that masturbation is something anyone has to do, or that ...
by Heather
Mon Jul 19, 2021 2:07 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: sperm ocd
Replies: 1
Views: 741

Re: sperm ocd

This isn't stupid, this is a pretty common trigger -- germs and sperm cells -- for a lot of people with OCD. I'm sorry that it's one for you, because it can be a really tough one to deal with. None of this is a way that pregnancy happens, so in reality, that isn't a concern you need to have, but don...
by Heather
Mon Jul 19, 2021 2:04 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 2836

Re: I don't know what to do

Hey, Jenny. Gosh, I remember friends weirdness around my seizures so vividly. Like the whole thing doesn't (literally!) feel uncomfortable enough. I don't know about the history of your siblings with your parents, but it sounds like your brother is perhaps estranged from them, and that maybe the not...
by Heather
Wed Jul 14, 2021 9:43 am
Forum: Site Help & Service
Topic: Site Maintenance (With Downtime) 7/16 - 7/19
Replies: 0
Views: 3911

Site Maintenance (With Downtime) 7/16 - 7/19

Hey, everyone: Just a heads-up that we're making some updates to the site's backbone over the weekend, so the site will be up and down some on Friday, and may be down for more time over the weekend if anything goes wonky or needs fine-tuning. The message boards will be set to read-only during that t...
by Heather
Wed Jul 14, 2021 9:43 am
Forum: Site Help & Service
Topic: Site Maintenance (With Downtime) 7/16 - 7/19
Replies: 0
Views: 1498

Site Maintenance (With Downtime) 7/16 - 7/19

Hey, everyone: Just a heads-up that we're making some updates to the site's backbone over the weekend, so the site will be up and down some on Friday, and may be down for more time over the weekend if anything goes wonky or needs fine-tuning. The message boards will be set to read-only during that t...
by Heather
Tue Jul 13, 2021 2:02 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 2836

Re: I don't know what to do

Jenny, I think your sister-in-law and the brother she is married to sound like the right people to be talking with and asking for help. I'd be very honest with them, and not feel at all reticent to ask for what you need. If possible, I wonder if one thing they might be willing to do is arrange to co...
by Heather
Tue Jul 13, 2021 7:56 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 2836

Re: I don't know what to do

Jenny - I also have a couple emails out to SD disability services asking for some specific resources for you. I’ll keep you in the loop if I hear back, and if I don’t, I’ll do some more looking/calling myself. I’m also happy to give you some places to call with questions to ask if you’d like to do t...
by Heather
Sun Jul 11, 2021 1:29 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 2836

Re: I don't know what to do

By the way, I'm heading off for the day, but I want to leave you with this starter list of links for disability services in Minnesota: http://bridgetobenefits.org/Disability_Services2 I think that it would be worth your time to call a few of these and see what might be available to help intervene an...
by Heather
Sun Jul 11, 2021 1:17 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 2836

Re: I don't know what to do

The only free online "therapy" I found was strangers that listen to you while you talk. That's not exactly therapy. I'm not quite sure what you mean by this, or what's disqualifying for you here. Every therapist is a stranger until we meet them and start working with them, for one. But by...
by Heather
Sun Jul 11, 2021 11:58 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 2836

Re: I don't know what to do

I think that it would serve you to recognize that there are probably going to be a lot of situations in life in which in order to get some of what you want, you are going to have to accept something that isn't quite or exactly what you're looking for. It has been sounding to me like it might often b...
by Heather
Sun Jul 11, 2021 9:59 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 2836

Re: I don't know what to do

Hey, jenny -- do you have a therapist or counselor for yourself? I ask because it sounds like someone you could really stand is not just someone to talk to, but someone who would be just for you, who would be your ally/advocate, who could both help you with these steps towards autonomy, but also pot...
by Heather
Thu Jul 08, 2021 5:01 pm
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: Educating young kids on LGBT+ identites
Replies: 6
Views: 1402

Re: Educating young kids on LGBT+ identites

The thing is, it isn’t okay to say it’s better to be dead than gay. Not at all. Personally, I would not say it’s okay to anyone to believe that. I also wouldn’t say to a child it’s okay to believe it’s wrong to be gay just like I wouldn’t say to a child it’s okay to believe it’s wrong to be disabled...
by Heather
Thu Jul 08, 2021 1:57 pm
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: Educating young kids on LGBT+ identites
Replies: 6
Views: 1402

Re: Educating young kids on LGBT+ identites

Hey there, Raffles. I'm so sorry that this happened to you today! I totally understand feeling shocked and freezing up or just not being sure what to do in a moment like this. It's a lot to try and figure out in the moment! Legally, it's unlikely you can't be pretty plainspoken in moments like this ...
by Heather
Thu Jul 08, 2021 12:43 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Interested in bdsm at a young age
Replies: 10
Views: 3753

Re: Interested in bdsm at a young age

Yep!
by Heather
Thu Jul 08, 2021 12:36 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Interested in bdsm at a young age
Replies: 10
Views: 3753

Re: Interested in bdsm at a young age

Welcome! :). There's no kind of *private* user-to-user messaging available in any of the services on our site. However, users can talk with each other publicly but anonymously here on the boards as much as y'all would like, that's much of what they're here for!
by Heather
Thu Jul 08, 2021 12:27 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Interested in bdsm at a young age
Replies: 10
Views: 3753

Re: Interested in bdsm at a young age

(Just FYI, private user-to-user chat here isn't enabled for everyone's privacy and safety.)
by Heather
Thu Jul 08, 2021 12:24 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 2836

Re: I don't know what to do

That sounds like a pretty tough seizure disorder, and like it's been very hard to live with. 30 seizures a month is so many, my goodness. (and ugh, I remember things like all the brain scans and all the things they try -- it's so much.) I'm glad that you've been able to reduce them so drastically re...
by Heather
Thu Jul 08, 2021 8:03 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: im 13 and i wanna masturbate
Replies: 4
Views: 2343

Re: im 13 and i wanna masturbate

Or you may mean your cervix, if you're talking about way back in your vagina. If so, that is the end of your uterus, and while all of our insides, including the vagina, are effectively "guts" you're right, that is also your guts! But it's normal, totally tethered -- like, it's not going an...
by Heather
Thu Jul 08, 2021 8:00 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 2836

Re: I don't know what to do

Just a P.S. to Urna's reply, I started having seizures when I was around 11, and have had a couple types of epilepsy throughout my life since. Most of the time, I've been able to take medication that has controlled my epilepsy so that it's allowed me to do things like drive (I don't now, but I used ...
by Heather
Wed Jul 07, 2021 2:45 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Friendship and Boundaries
Replies: 15
Views: 1182

Re: Friendship and Boundaries

I'm heading out for the day, but the next time I'm around (tomorrow) I'd be happy to talk to you about the assault if you'd like (I'm also a survivor, and this is something I can do), help you find someone else to talk with if you prefer, or both. Hang in there, and I support whatever choice feels r...
by Heather
Wed Jul 07, 2021 2:43 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I don't know what to do
Replies: 49
Views: 2836

Re: I don't know what to do

Jenny: Before you added this, I had initially responded differently. I left that response at the end of this one for you. I'm very sorry that you're feeling so bad about your pacing with your romantic and sexual experience. I absolutely understand how that can be painful: I've heard from a lot of pe...
by Heather
Wed Jul 07, 2021 2:15 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Friendship and Boundaries
Replies: 15
Views: 1182

Re: Friendship and Boundaries

This sounds like a LOT to be carrying around and trying to sort through. It also sounds like you feel really burdened by it, and I'm so sorry about that. I totally understand how assault can really spin your head around relationships, all of them, any of them, and I also get how some of the dynamics...

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