Hi there eatyourgreens! Becoming a parent is a really big decision, it's not stupid to think it through carefully. It sounds like you've had quite a journey to get to the point where you can think about having a child, and it's normal to sometimes see old patterns re-emerge in moments of change or s...

Hi there! When you talk about not feeling anything, do you mean it doesn't feel pleasurable or turn you on? If so, then I wonder what you're thinking or feeling when you try masturbating. That's because pleasure is actually less about what's going on with your genitals and more about what's going on...

I'm sorry that your parents have been too worried about looking good in front of other people to actually do the right thing. It sounds like there are two main options here: 1. Get another person (like the school counsellor) to help you talk to your parents about what you need 2. Try to get support ...

It sounds like you have found some really important insights recently. Going kinda in reverse order, your third point sounds like one that has taken some time to learn and I hope you've been starting to give yourself permission to feel your feelings a bit more. It can be scary to realise how much we...

What makes you unsure? Is there something in particular that worries you? When thinking about the clitoris growing in size when aroused it's not just the glans or "head" that fills with blood and swells, it's the whole internal structure too - you might notice that the whole of your vulva ...

Hi Sky H, Porn isn't inherently evil or bad for you but there are a couple of things worth remembering when you're watching it: Porn sex is not like real-life sex and so it's not a great place to learn about what your own sex life can or should be like. These two articles by Alice O look at some of ...

Hi spottedowl, I'm so pleased you have been able to talk to your dad for advice! And having a TV show or film to watch with your mum and create opportunities to talk about these things in a slightly less pressured way sounds great :) So the hormonal IUD (Mirena, for example) doesn't contain estrogen...

Hi BuddyBoi, You know, it's okay to want sex. It's okay to want relationships where sex is a shared priority - just like it's okay to not be super interested in sex or not need it to be a big part of your relationships. You are not a horrible person for wanting to have sex with the person you care a...

Glad we were able to help! We're always here if you want to dive into this a little more or have questions on anything else

Wow that's quite an accomplishment!

That's really tough, I'm sorry. This year has been a rough one for mental health in all kinds of ways and if you don't have access to good support services it can be really hard. A lot of therapists offer sessions on a sliding scale - is that something that you would be interested in /able to stretc...

Hey lovelylavender, Can you think of any times where you were like "yep, that was definitely an orgasm?" I'm asking because whilst for some people orgasm comes easily, some of us have to learn - and it can be a little underwhelming at first. At it's most basic, orgasm is just a release of ...

Hi spottedowl, Sofi is right that the two can coexist. Right now though it sounds like you'd like to be able to have more frank conversations with some of your family members - is that right? Honestly I think you're already on the right track here, identifying the people you CAN go to for good advic...

Hey BuddyBoi21, It sounds like you and your partner have good lines of communication around this, and since your original question was more about what you can do just for you I want to return to that. As someone who is also hugely touch-centric and finds a lot of connection through sex but is in loc...

It's so lovely to hear that people appreciate the work we do - thank you for such appreciative words :D Wow that is a lot of conflicting messages to be dealing with! My first question when reading through this is what do YOU want? It sounds like you have some ideas, but aren't totally sure yet - and...

Hey Susan, You know, sexuality is so personal that ultimately only you can say what the right words for you are. It's also not unusual for your sexuality - or your understanding of it - to change through time. It sounds like you know at least one thing pretty confidently: that you are attracted to w...

Hi pelican! So we don't really talk about masturbation or sex as addictive (you can read more about why here: Are we addicted to sex? , though sometimes people have trouble with compulsive behaviour around these. All by itself, masturbating a couple of times a day, using a vibrator or watching porn ...

So in England we've just gone into a new lockdown and I've been making my lockdown plan. The last three posts have already hit on some of my top ideas, but things I'm looking forward to doing include: Do things that me feel connected to "something bigger" : OPT1M15T1C had a great bunch of ...

Okay, I'm glad you found something that helped. You know that there's nothing wrong with masturbating right? If anything it can actually be pretty good for overall wellbeing.

Hi! Can you tell me a bit more about what made you want to try masturbating? It's a great way to get to know your body and what you like and dislike, but there is no "should" about it - if you wanna do it go ahead, if you're not especially interested that's fine too. What you're feeling fo...

You're welcome you know, coming here and making myself useful IS one of the ways I take care of myself! Hope you've got some things that keep making sense in this strange new world too

We all show affection in different ways, and whilst you're right that we have stuck things like ass holding and lip kissing in the boxes labelled "romantic" and "sexual" in our culture there is no reason why they have to feel that way for everyone. I also think that wanting addit...

For folks who have a religious upbringing and little sex education like you, I often think of anxiety as giving guilty feelings a voice, like trying to rationalise feelings of shame by attaching them to real-world "consequences" even where you haven't done anything to create a pregnancy ri...

Hi Digdawg, Whilst the progesterone only minipill may increase the chances of benign ovarian cysts, the combined pill actually reduces the likelihood. It is still possible that the pain you are describing comes from a cyst, though many things can cause abdominal pain. Ovarian cysts often disappear b...

Hi! So I think you've hit on a really important question, and I'm not promising to have a perfectly complete answer in just one post but I do have a couple of ideas about this. 1. Fantasy is fantasy 2. Respect and attraction aren't mutually exclusive. Let me elaborate. My first point is that your fa...