Search found 8844 matches

by Sam W
Thu Feb 29, 2024 8:35 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I'm insecure about I don't have any chance in a relationship in my 22,a period of transform
Replies: 5
Views: 975

Re: I'm insecure about I don't have any chance in a relationship in my 22,a period of transform

Hi xiaoge, I'm glad you found us. When it comes to more casual, sexual relationships, if that's not something that feels comfortable to you or feels like it's what you're actually looking for, then you don't have to pursue it simply because it's available. If it's more that you're interested in usin...
by Sam W
Thu Feb 29, 2024 8:16 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Squirting??
Replies: 9
Views: 1392

Re: Squirting??

Hi Viennakuko, Can I ask if you have any issues with incontinence or feeling like you have to urinate constantly more generally? Too, when you feel like you're pushing past that barrier when masturbating, is that one-second sensation a pleasurable one? And when it passes, do you feel your interest i...
by Sam W
Thu Feb 29, 2024 8:10 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Discharge
Replies: 1
Views: 1600

Re: Discharge

Hi Emi, If this is only happening around a specific time in your cycle, then this may just be part of how your body experiences your cycle. If it's happening non-stop, that might be cause for concern, especially if it was suddenly very different from how your discharge generally smelled. As for what...
by Sam W
Thu Feb 29, 2024 8:04 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: how to do homework when depressed?
Replies: 1
Views: 1277

Re: how to do homework when depressed?

Hi Gluggaveður, I'm sorry to hear that you're in the midst of such a rough mental health spot. Are you getting any kind of mental health support right now? If not, we can talk about ways you might be able to connect with that kind of care so you can get the support you deserve. Too, if this is effec...
by Sam W
Tue Feb 27, 2024 8:12 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Nervous about Penetration
Replies: 5
Views: 1800

Re: Nervous about Penetration

Hi starling1010, It sounds like you're nervous about vaginal sex because, even though the idea of it excites you, you're worried that it might be painful or uncomfortable, since your experiences with masturbation have sometimes gone that way. Since feeling the inside of your vaginal canal isn't a pl...
by Sam W
Tue Feb 27, 2024 7:59 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: confused but also not at the same time
Replies: 8
Views: 1181

Re: confused but also not at the same time

Hi itzxnikki, You're right that inserting a finger isn't "supposed" to hurt, although it can hurt due to things like tension or a lack of lube. With the G-spot specifically, it's kind of hard to say because how each person experiences touch to that area is going to be different. Some peopl...
by Sam W
Tue Feb 27, 2024 7:52 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: insertion…
Replies: 3
Views: 1631

Re: insertion…

Hi tarobubbleteaaa, It sounds like both anxiety and a lack of lubrication are playing a role here. So, getting your hands on some lube could be helpful (and if you're not sure how to do that, we can help you figure that out). With that anxiety and tension, was it just that worry about pain that lead...
by Sam W
Tue Feb 27, 2024 7:48 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: I can only orgasm with a vibrator and my bf is not the problem
Replies: 3
Views: 1624

Re: I can only orgasm with a vibrator and my bf is not the problem

Hi Hobogirl, I promise you're not doing anything wrong, and that you're not; the ways we do, or don't, experience sexual pleasure are incredibly varied. The trouble is, we're often presented with this idea that there are things that "should" help us reach orgasm or be incredibly pleasurabl...
by Sam W
Mon Feb 26, 2024 3:12 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Fantasy issues
Replies: 21
Views: 2102

Re: Fantasy issues

You know, it's totally okay if your feelings and concerns around this are still shifting around. Trying to sort out our own fantasies, our feelings about them, and how those two things interact with masturbation as an activity can be pretty tricky sometimes. I hear you saying that you think finding ...
by Sam W
Mon Feb 26, 2024 8:49 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Struggle to orgasm with partner
Replies: 1
Views: 1496

Re: Struggle to orgasm with partner

Hi Spider_Queen, There are a few different things that it sounds like could be at play here. You mention you think nerves or trying too hard (in other words, putting pressure on yourself) could be playing a role, and I agree. When we're nervous, whether that's about our "performance," the ...
by Sam W
Mon Feb 26, 2024 8:36 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Lesbian Sex
Replies: 6
Views: 1266

Re: Lesbian Sex

Yep, I'm a pretty firm believer that the fact we see same-sex behavior in animals is a good counterpoint to arguments that try to frame it as "unnatural." But I'm also someone who thinks that even if humans were the only animals to do it, that would still be fine; we do a lot of things oth...
by Sam W
Mon Feb 26, 2024 8:25 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: can't finger myself. vaginismus?
Replies: 7
Views: 2130

Re: can't finger myself. vaginismus?

With those concerns about the hymen (actually called the vaginal corona), it might help to know that it's not a body part that rips or tears; it's a flexible membrane. That's part of why the first time we have partnered vaginal intercourse isn't "supposed" to hurt--it CAN hurt, due to thin...
by Sam W
Mon Feb 26, 2024 8:10 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Full Body Deodorant.
Replies: 1
Views: 870

Re: Full Body Deodorant.

Hi Chocolate Moose, You're right that putting anything like deodorant or a douche directly on the vulva increases the odds of getting an infection rather than doing anything useful. I'm also not a huge fan of Lume and similar products because they do seem to play into that fear that our genitals sme...
by Sam W
Mon Feb 26, 2024 7:59 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: I''ve been thinking of asking my mom about buying me a vibrator but I'm scared
Replies: 2
Views: 1108

Re: I''ve been thinking of asking my mom about buying me a vibrator but I'm scared

Hi Nicholazz10, I agree that you'll want to go about getting the toy honestly, rather than trying to trick the store into thinking you're older than you are. It can be really, really frustrating to feel like we don't have a good sense of how a parent will respond to something. With talking to your m...
by Sam W
Mon Feb 26, 2024 7:40 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Sex
Replies: 1
Views: 1412

Re: Sex

Hi there, I suggest talking with her about what's going on and really listening to her answer (in other words, don't go into the conversation trying to convince her to have sex with you). I also recommend reading the book "Come Together" by Emily Nagoski if you can find a copy. I do want t...
by Sam W
Sat Feb 24, 2024 9:44 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How often should you test?
Replies: 3
Views: 1018

Re: How often should you test?

I mean, ultimately it's up to you when and how often you test, since you know what things will give you peace of mind and what things won't. But it can also help to remember that when we're talking about birth control effectiveness, that effectiveness is figured over the course of a year, meaning th...
by Sam W
Sat Feb 24, 2024 8:50 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Is "forgetting" abuse possible?
Replies: 14
Views: 2490

Re: Is "forgetting" abuse possible?

I'm so glad to hear that the conversation with your friends parents helped you figure out what the next few months will look like! And I hope when you talk with your dad about all this, that also gives you at least some sense of what comes next so you can more easily plan for the next year.
by Sam W
Fri Feb 23, 2024 1:38 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: How often should you test?
Replies: 3
Views: 1018

Re: How often should you test?

Hi 55, So, given how effective the contraceptive shot is, a pregnancy test isn't going to be necessary unless you have a legitimate reason to think the shot is less effective than it otherwise would be. Too, given your history of pregnancy anxiety, using an external or internal condom along with the...
by Sam W
Fri Feb 23, 2024 10:04 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Lesbian Sex
Replies: 6
Views: 1266

Re: Lesbian Sex

I'm glad I could help!
by Sam W
Fri Feb 23, 2024 7:38 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: clothing as a barrier
Replies: 3
Views: 998

Re: clothing as a barrier

Nope, that does not change the risk! A good rule when looking for information on things like that here is that if something does meaningfully change the pregnancy risk of an activity, we'll mention it. So if you don't see it mentioned, that means it doesn't change the risk.
by Sam W
Fri Feb 23, 2024 7:36 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Lesbian Sex
Replies: 6
Views: 1266

Re: Lesbian Sex

Hi FullofQuestions, I certainly don't consider it a sin, and no one else here does either. For me, the diversity of human sexuality and sexual behavior, including things being queer, isn't something bad or sinful, it's just a demonstration of all the different ways a human can be. I actually really,...
by Sam W
Thu Feb 22, 2024 10:53 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Can't ignore social stigma
Replies: 7
Views: 766

Re: Can't ignore social stigma

Okay! So, here are a few starting places on unlearning or combating shame-based messages: The Rainbow Connection: Orientation for Everyone (I think the sections towards the end are good for getting positive messages about sexual orientation) https://www.scarleteen.com/article/politics_sexual_identit...
by Sam W
Thu Feb 22, 2024 10:03 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I'd like to try a sex toy
Replies: 5
Views: 826

Re: I'd like to try a sex toy

You're welcome!
by Sam W
Thu Feb 22, 2024 9:14 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Saddened (disproportionately) by portrayal of my favourite characters in fanfic
Replies: 11
Views: 1312

Re: Saddened (disproportionately) by portrayal of my favourite characters in fanfic

Hi Laayiv, I'm going to address the more creative concerns first. As someone who's been involved in fandom spaces to greater and lesser degrees throughout my life, I can think of zero instances in which there was only one dynamic of a given ship that people wanted to read (or write). Even in relativ...
by Sam W
Thu Feb 22, 2024 8:55 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I'd like to try a sex toy
Replies: 5
Views: 826

Re: I'd like to try a sex toy

Hi FullOfQuestions, The tricky thing is that, without being in a store with you, talking you through your options is tricky because there's so much available. Too, what sex toys feel good depends a lot on an individuals preferences and body, and sometimes there will be a bit of trial and error to fi...

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