Search found 6422 matches

by Sam W
Fri Mar 19, 2021 9:19 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: some clarification
Replies: 6
Views: 386

Re: some clarification

Yes, indirect contact refers to how the sperm come into contact with the vagina.

Can you answer the question Heather asked above? I'm glad the articles gave you reassurance, but as Heather pointed out reassurance seeking is not an effective way of dealing with anxiety.
by Sam W
Fri Mar 19, 2021 8:29 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Worries
Replies: 5
Views: 737

Re: Worries

I'm glad the information from "Buddy System" helped him calm down some. And I think the two of you taking a break from sex until he feels more comfortable or able to manage his anxieties around this is a sound call. As Heather mentioned, these are ultimately his feelings to manage, so you ...
by Sam W
Fri Mar 19, 2021 7:03 am
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Feeling like something is missing in sex
Replies: 10
Views: 822

Re: Feeling like something is missing in sex

You're welcome, I hope that discussion goes well! In terms of creating that space, what if you started out with a broader question: if you could snap your fingers and it would happen, what would your ideal environment (both in terms of the space itself and interactions between the two of you) look l...
by Sam W
Thu Mar 18, 2021 10:11 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: About Shaving
Replies: 6
Views: 1838

Re: About Shaving

Got it. One thing to keep in mind is that shaving or waxing will also involve some itchiness when the hair starts to grow back, but it's up to you whether that's more comfortable than the itchiness that comes with not shaving. As for those worries about cleanliness, this article does a good job of b...
by Sam W
Thu Mar 18, 2021 9:59 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: About Shaving
Replies: 6
Views: 1838

Re: About Shaving

Hi Krys, If you're wanting to remove your pubic hair, both shaving and waxing are an option (waxing seems to be less likely to result in ingrown hairs or other bumps). If you don't want it completely gone but to just be a little "tidier," you can also trim it with scissors. If you want mor...
by Sam W
Thu Mar 18, 2021 8:09 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Pain and Light Bleeding After Sex
Replies: 11
Views: 1016

Re: Pain and Light Bleeding After Sex

Hi CatHaru26, Glad to hear you're staying on top of your sexual healthcare! If you recently got over a UTI, I'd keep an eye out to make sure the symptoms you're noticing after sex don't start happening other times, in case it's a sign another UTI is starting up. Since you've noticed that change in y...
by Sam W
Thu Mar 18, 2021 7:56 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: About Masturbation
Replies: 1
Views: 666

Re: About Masturbation

Hi Krys, You're right that, because of where the bladder is located in relation to things like the vaginal canal, things like masturbation or sex can create the feeling of needing to pee. Have you had a chance to look at this article yet? https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/it_feels_like_i_hav...
by Sam W
Tue Mar 16, 2021 7:58 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: I'm gay but I like straight porn
Replies: 3
Views: 565

Re: I'm gay but I like straight porn

Hi sugarcrash, It's actually pretty common for people to consume porn featuring things they wouldn't do or want in real life. And that extends to porn that doesn't reflect their own sexual orientation. It can help to think of the sexual media we consume as an extension of fantasy; often we fantasize...
by Sam W
Tue Mar 16, 2021 7:33 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Masturbation
Replies: 1
Views: 445

Re: Masturbation

Hi confusedhuman, A lack of lubrication can make things like small nicks or irritation more likely, though the nicks may also come from your fingernails, so checking to be sure those are short (or even wearing latex gloves if the cuts really bother you) can help prevent them. Using urine in that way...
by Sam W
Tue Mar 16, 2021 7:07 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Confusion regarding pre cum when a guy is aroused
Replies: 9
Views: 888

Re: Confusion regarding pre cum when a guy is aroused

Nope, they can't survive on places like sinks or toilet seats for the same reason they can't survive on hands: sperm are fragile, and need very specific conditions to survive. I know in the past we've talked about you bringing up these fears around things like pregnancy and sperm to your therapist. ...
by Sam W
Tue Mar 16, 2021 6:54 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Excessive Masturbation
Replies: 5
Views: 1342

Re: Excessive Masturbation

You're welcome!
by Sam W
Tue Mar 16, 2021 6:53 am
Forum: Bodies
Topic: I feel no sexual stimulation.
Replies: 3
Views: 1018

Re: I feel no sexual stimulation.

I mean, you don't have to give up entirely, but taking a break might actually help you out some; if you've been trying and trying and not feeling much, that kind of frustration and pressure is going to make it harder to feel pleasure. When do you decide to masturbate, if your mind is either wanderin...
by Sam W
Mon Mar 15, 2021 12:35 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Boyfriend still talks to ex fwb
Replies: 5
Views: 605

Re: Boyfriend still talks to ex fwb

I'm glad talking here has been helpful! And for sure, seeing a therapist could be a sound call in terms of giving you more space to process these feelings and anything else that's coming up for you as a result of your parents splitting up.
by Sam W
Mon Mar 15, 2021 12:33 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: Excessive Masturbation
Replies: 5
Views: 1342

Re: Excessive Masturbation

Okay, so one option would be to find some other things to hold your attention when that boredom hits and you're not actually in the mood to masturbate. That could be a hobby, or a new piece of media, or even just playing with a pet or messaging a fried. Does something like that sound doable?
by Sam W
Mon Mar 15, 2021 12:28 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: It hurts
Replies: 9
Views: 696

Re: It hurts

You're very welcome!
by Sam W
Mon Mar 15, 2021 12:28 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Am I too obsessed with my celebrity crush?
Replies: 17
Views: 1250

Re: Am I too obsessed with my celebrity crush?

Hi Belled,

Heather is out for the day, but I wanted you to know this was seen and they'll pick back up when they're in again.
by Sam W
Mon Mar 15, 2021 12:19 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: It hurts
Replies: 9
Views: 696

Re: It hurts

You're welcome! There are actually lots of reasons why the vagina may not produce "enough" lubrication on any given day, and you can read all about them here: https://www.scarleteen.com/article/advi ... ate_enough.
by Sam W
Mon Mar 15, 2021 12:04 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: It hurts
Replies: 9
Views: 696

Re: It hurts

Do you have things like massage oil, baby oil, olive oil, coconut oil, or Vaseline in the house that you could use? If not, things like Vaseline are sold as general lotions, so if you can get to a store to buy one it wouldn't alert your parents to the fact you're purchasing lube. Too, it may just be...
by Sam W
Mon Mar 15, 2021 11:44 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Confusion regarding pre cum when a guy is aroused
Replies: 9
Views: 888

Re: Confusion regarding pre cum when a guy is aroused

Hi Anonymous786, The reason pre-ejaculate can't pose a risk in those scenarios is that sperm require very specific conditions to survive and co-create a pregnancy. Those conditions just aren't present in things like being on someone's hand or clothes. You can read more about why that is in these two...
by Sam W
Mon Mar 15, 2021 11:34 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: It hurts
Replies: 9
Views: 696

Re: It hurts

Generally speaking, the more aroused you are the more likely it is that your body will be producing enough lube to make things comfortable. So it might just be a matter of making sure you're really turned on before inserting your fingers. Too, you may be able to access certain kinds of lube without ...
by Sam W
Mon Mar 15, 2021 11:14 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: It hurts
Replies: 9
Views: 696

Re: It hurts

Hi jenny01, Inserting fingers into the vaginal canal can have a few different causes. One may be that you had less lubrication (vaginal or from a bottle) than you did the other times you've tried it, or you may have been more tense than usual. Heck, sometimes you can catch yourself with a fingernail...
by Sam W
Mon Mar 15, 2021 11:10 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Orgasm
Replies: 2
Views: 557

Re: Orgasm

Hi jenny01, Orgasms can actually vary in how intense or good they feel. So, just because the orgasm you had last night felt really good doesn't mean that you haven't had an orgasm in the past. If you haven't already done so, check out this article that covers what orgasms generally involve and feel ...
by Sam W
Mon Mar 15, 2021 11:02 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: confused
Replies: 10
Views: 456

Re: confused

You're welcome, and I hope you're able to find the support you need at those resources!
by Sam W
Mon Mar 15, 2021 9:30 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: confused
Replies: 10
Views: 456

Re: confused

Okay, since mental health is outside of the realm of services we offer, the first thing I want to do is give you the resources on this page: https://www.opencounseling.com/hotlines-ae. One appears to be a general mental health hotline, the other is specifically for people dealing with suicidal thoug...
by Sam W
Mon Mar 15, 2021 9:17 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: confused
Replies: 10
Views: 456

Re: confused

Having trauma as well as living in a place where sexual behavior is punished could both be feeding these anxieties around pregnancy. But it also sounds like there is some underlying mental health stuff going on that could be contributing as well. Are you receiving help, like counseling, for that anx...

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