Alright so surprise, surprise, I am here and after months of questioning and nervousness, I broke up with my (now ex) girlfriend. I feel really bad, guilty really. I feel like I didn't try hard enough and the girl I was dating was wonderful. She was really sweet and she was trying really hard to tak...

Hey Heather, I'll be honest with you you are right about the unknowns regarding the relationship and every relationship in general. It's why I no longer feel anxious, nervous or scared about the relationship or future relationships. I went to see my therapist and we agreed that I can still take thin...

Well Sam, I used to have deal breakers but then I decided to toss all of them out entirely because I came across so many issues in previous relationships. If a person didn't break any of my deal breakers they would have a flaw or two that made the relationship more painful than enjoyable. I just did...

Well if I lost interest in my girlfriend we would have to have a hard conversation about our feelings. If I weren't happy being monogamous I would probably try to further assess my feelings and if being in that relationship wasn't satisfying then I would have to either learn to make an exception or ...

Alright so I meant for this post to be open to anyone but hey, feedback matters. So I've been in this pretty new relationship since mid-february but we spent a ton of time together, met each other's families and will now temporarily move in together because I've decided to move out since I've had to...

Hi again Heather, I'm in a phase in my life where I recognize I want to question everything I've been brought up with. This includes whether or not I am monogamous because I choose to or because I was brought up with that idea only. I note my desires for other people but do not act on them and I kno...

Hi Heather, It's been a hot minute but I think I know why I'd rather live with the discomfort. I really enjoy the sex I have with my girlfriend. Sure it isn't always sexy and on some occasions it can be disgusting. I am currently out of town and before leaving we basically had goodbye sex and the sa...

That's a completely fair and valid response with the way I've described things so far. When I say accidentally, I mean I had no intention of being in a relationship with this person. Like I didn't expect her to want more from me than just f*cking around. We got together because we kept seeing each o...

Alright so, I am in a bit of a bind here. I recently got into a committed relationship (somewhat by accident) and my current girlfriend has BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) and is very monogamous. I lowkey have some issues with vulnerability, commitment and "settling down" that I acti...

Hi Heather, My girlfriend usually does the basic clean up (I'm not sure about the wiping though) and she told me she hadn't pooped that day and in the moment of the incident she told me that's never happened before. I went in very deep that night and I guess I was grossed out due to both the sight o...

Hey everyone, It's been a hot minute since I last posted on here but it's because I'm sexually active and in a relatively new relationship. We've been dating since February and had sex on the first date. Since then I've been more sexually open and I'm really enjoying myself. However, last night we h...

Hey Sam, We haven't gone too much in depth about what strategies I can use for balancing my attractions while working on myself. Also it's not like I feel that cultivating non-romantic relationships are bad. Honestly I've felt the opposite since shifting my thinking recently and all of close friends...

Hey Sam, I have somewhat discussed these issues with my current therapist. How I would like to be in a relationship even though it's probably the worst choice for myself at the moment. She tells me this won't be forever and that I don't know what will happen or how long I'll be single (which is both...

Hey Siân, Well it's more like I have either gone into a friendship and have developed unrequited feelings or I openly expressed my interest, the woman in question wanted to get to know me and she decided she wasn't interested. I feel like anything with friends will never happen simply because I'm a ...

Hey Mo, You make an excellent point however I don't think that'll happen. From past experiences, most women who befriend me only see me as a friend. If I've tried to approach it I get heavily "hinted" or directly told I'm just a friend. I'm great at being friends and I don't mind my feelin...

Hey Jacob, I feel really dense when it comes to telling the difference between friendly behavior and flirty behavior. Also as a young, more masculine presenting queer person I'm almost always shoved into the pursuit side of this. It's very rare feminine people approach me first and it bugs me a lot ...

How do I stop liking women so much? For some reason my attractions work like this: I'm extremly meh about guys but every now and again one dude will really catch my attention but I never act on it. I'm found of other non-binary people but they aren't on my radar too often and I usually have a mix of...

Hi Heather, This is perfect actually! Would it be safe to say that I should also incorporate asking about any sort of things that could possibly trigger my sexual partner(s)? Other than that, I feel like this could really help me move forward and better interact with future sexual partner(s). Thank ...

Hey Stephanie, This is very true and solid advice! Is there anything else I specifically can do, with my actions, to make my sexual partner(s) feel safe and remind them they aren't obligated to do anything? This is assuming I have already used my best words before, during, and after sex. (Also assum...

Hey Staff, So I finally spoke to my therapist about what to do in order to make my (future) sexual partner(s) feel safe with me. I was told the only thing I'm may not be taking into consideration is my nonverbal communication. Without using words, how can I reassure a sexual partner that I won't hur...

Hi Heather,

Yep you got it. I really want to keep engaging in sex but I don't know if it's healthy for me personally so I'll just masturbate.

Thank you for your response!

Hey y'all So Robin, to answer your question. Yes, I very badly would like a consistent sexual partner (and ideally for that same partner to be romantic as well) but I know sexual partners are hard to find, they have to be mutually interested, sexually compatible, etc so I would feel more comfortable...

Hi al, To answer your first question, many people throw around the "you can't love anyone until you love yourself first" concept in some way, shape or form. I tend to be super self critical to points where it feels as though I don't really love myself at all. Because of this and some of th...

Hey Staff, So I'm once again in a very weird spot regarding how I express my sexuality or rather indulge in it. I've always found myself feeling as though I frequently masturbated growing up, especially between the ages of 13-17. I think this had gotten to the point where my body became used to the ...

Hey Sam,

That makes sense and I'll go over these feelings with my therapist the next time I see them.

Thank you!