Search found 893 matches

by Jacob
Wed Jul 15, 2020 7:56 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: How has your gender expression evolved?
Replies: 17
Views: 17753

Re: How has your gender expression evolved?

EDIT: I didnt mean this to be my life story, but once I started writing bits it got longer! Hopefully it can at least be helpful to someone to know what a 30 year gender journey can look like. I think about my evolution mostly through clothes. When I was really small I didn't realise that things wer...
by Jacob
Wed Jul 15, 2020 6:44 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: How Old Were You?
Replies: 2
Views: 1855

Re: How Old Were You?

What jazzy said! There is no 'too old' to find yourself in a situation with a person when you want to do something new including any sort of sexual intimacy 22, 33, 66, whatever. So holding off, when you weren't feeling ready probably will have given you the space to for it to be more ok, when you e...
by Jacob
Wed Jul 15, 2020 6:27 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sexuality Trouble
Replies: 1
Views: 2262

Re: Sexuality Trouble

Hi A! So firstly I felt a little bad when you said "I'm just not sure what my deal is" ... I don't think there is a deal just because we don't want to date the people who are approaching us at a certain time! It could have just been you were just plain not into any of these boys and that i...
by Jacob
Wed Jun 24, 2020 10:04 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: ?
Replies: 47
Views: 11094

Re: ?

Did you get a look at the peice Heather shared? It defines intimacy very very broadly. Including non-physical, non-sexual stuff.
by Jacob
Wed Jun 17, 2020 11:20 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: Hair and Presentation
Replies: 37
Views: 50438

Re: Hair and Presentation

I just wanted to add Raffles that it can be good to lay the groundwork for future, like talking about things in the abstract rather than direct conversations which feel like they won't go well... Is that something you'd consider? I know for me it has helped if I can say I've "put it out there&q...
by Jacob
Mon May 25, 2020 4:05 am
Forum: Sexual Health
Topic: Female Condom
Replies: 13
Views: 5401

Re: Female Condom

I was just about to jump in with an answer but I see everyone else got there! Glad it was helpful GS.
by Jacob
Thu May 14, 2020 1:30 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Getting annoyed because anal is painful for me.
Replies: 4
Views: 2985

Re: Getting annoyed because anal is painful for me.

Aside from lube, patience, and knowing-when-to-quit, my advice is sorta limited!

Maybe it's something that can't be a big part of your sex life if it only feels like it clicks and feels good rarely?
by Jacob
Thu May 14, 2020 1:26 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sex and all the complications
Replies: 41
Views: 11157

Re: Sex and all the complications

Yep, Treatment would include therapy, which you've said you're looking for an appropriate person with. When I say healing I mean the the types of improvements in mood, health and whatnot that can happen when we are having a break from stressful situations, whether that's time off work, time off sex,...
by Jacob
Wed May 13, 2020 1:14 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Anal Bleeding - Please HELP!
Replies: 1
Views: 1576

Re: Anal Bleeding - Please HELP!

Hi Gerard!

There's some quit soft tissue up there so yup it sounds like you've cut yourself a little. I wouldn't worry about it massively but in future, maybe use lube, perhaps gloves and certainly clip those finger nails.
by Jacob
Wed May 13, 2020 1:10 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Injuries?
Replies: 3
Views: 1998

Re: Injuries?

Hi! I would guess, seeing as this hasn't happened to you, that your technique is probably fine. It is a fairly rare injury, but is one which makes a very memorable image, which is probably why you find yourself thinking about it. I imagine that when it has happened it's been the result of an acciden...
by Jacob
Wed May 13, 2020 12:40 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sex and all the complications
Replies: 41
Views: 11157

Re: Sex and all the complications

Mo wasn't saying anything about "the rest of your life". I am sure you don't intend to sound accusatory, but please try to remember that we are volunteers offering insight and it can be quite hurtful to be paraphrased in such a way. Seeing improvements will almost certainly have to involve...
by Jacob
Sun May 10, 2020 12:45 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sex and all the complications
Replies: 41
Views: 11157

Re: Sex and all the complications

I'm glad you've managed to see people who are well respected, but being considered the best by some in their field in general (i.e. with many patients, and/or in their research or writing) doesn't mean that their specialisms or style are a perfect match for you as an individual unique person. I thin...
by Jacob
Sun May 10, 2020 7:04 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Sex and all the complications
Replies: 41
Views: 11157

Re: Sex and all the complications

Hi ShadowSong, sorry you're having such a crap time! I have to agree with Sam, that I don't think you've been getting the best care here. Being assessed psychologically to qualify for your gender to be recognised sounds to me a lot more like it was focussed on complying with gatekeeping policies aro...
by Jacob
Mon May 04, 2020 6:23 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: any asexuals that have advice? :)
Replies: 28
Views: 16256

Re: any asexuals that have advice? :)

^ This is off-topic, but I just want to say it's good to see you here and if you'd like to talk on chat or by email, I know I and other folks on the staff would be really happy to!
by Jacob
Wed Apr 29, 2020 3:39 pm
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Trying to get boyfriend to be more open minded!
Replies: 1
Views: 1448

Re: Trying to get boyfriend to be more open minded!

Hi Lola! I'm afraid there's no magic crow-bar to open a partner's mind with. It's really his responsibility to push himself to recognise the limits of his guesswork around what an asexual person is thinking. Really any conversation where someone is being strongly opinionated about the validity of a ...
by Jacob
Wed Apr 29, 2020 12:58 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: People have regrets?
Replies: 1
Views: 2017

Re: People have regrets?

I think it's worth just thinking about how deeply different religious organisations have shaped non-religious aspects of culture and beliefs. Really the whole idea of virginity is a cultural one; it's based on beliefs, even if the'yre not religious. The belief that there's a 'thing' you 'have' and t...
by Jacob
Mon Apr 27, 2020 7:12 am
Forum: Scarleteen Updates
Topic: Ask Us on Instagram
Replies: 0
Views: 1782

Ask Us on Instagram

Those of you who follow us on Instagram will know we've started asking our followers to throw questions our way so we can answer with videos. When we post a call for questions there is only 24 hours to get your answers in (this week there is 2 hours left!) To ask us a question follow us on @scarlete...
by Jacob
Sun Apr 26, 2020 5:23 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Why do I have a problem asking girls out, but I have no problem asking guys out...
Replies: 1
Views: 2147

Re: Why do I have a problem asking girls out, but I have no problem asking guys out...

Hi Kitty! I feel like, for those of us aware of how intense dating, and being asked out can be for women, it does heighten worries of not wanting to seem like one of those creepy people if we do want to approach them. I think that's a reasonable thing to feel. That hesitance could even mean you tend...
by Jacob
Sun Apr 26, 2020 5:06 pm
Forum: Pregnancy and Parenting
Topic: Abortion during coronavirus
Replies: 3
Views: 14606

Re: Abortion during coronavirus

Hi ConfusedGirl! I am not aware of any coronavirus related restrictions on seeking an abortion in the USA. Sadly in many states abortion access is already quite restricted, corona virus aside, so even though I don't have the numbers, I imagine there could be delays accessing care if say, the would-b...
by Jacob
Sun Apr 26, 2020 4:56 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Unhealthy relationship
Replies: 4
Views: 5906

Re: Unhealthy relationship

Hi ConfusedGirl! Firstly, well done for making this decision! It's not easy but it sounds like you are trully feeling ready for it. I'm happy to welcome you to Scarleteen. I've just moved your other post here as it seems to be related: Does it count as emotional abuse if my boyfriend calls me "...
by Jacob
Sun Apr 26, 2020 4:35 pm
Forum: Got Questions? Get Answers.
Topic: Dear Scarleteen
Replies: 3
Views: 2711

Re: Dear Scarleteen

Hi woflcub, Thank you for writing this! I wish more people were able to read about that case and use it to question their own language, attitudes and behaviours. I also think it's great you and your mom have a relationship where you were able to communicate about the situation here. Her giving you t...
by Jacob
Sun Apr 26, 2020 8:08 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: comfortable binder that passes as sports bra!!
Replies: 2
Views: 3847

Re: comfortable binder that passes as sports bra!!

Thanks achilles! Very tactful way to get hold of "definitely not a binder" ahead of feeling able to come out to whoever holds the purse strings!
by Jacob
Wed Apr 22, 2020 9:41 am
Forum: Ask Us!
Topic: Birth control and periods
Replies: 1
Views: 1663

Re: Birth control and periods

Hi Meggy,

Monthly bleeding experienced on birth control tends to continue, perhaps becoming lighter. This won't be the same for everyone though.
by Jacob
Wed Apr 22, 2020 8:44 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Sugar Momma
Replies: 7
Views: 4603

Re: Sugar Momma

Nice to hear from you Sistine! How are you doing?
by Jacob
Wed Apr 22, 2020 8:32 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: collar shopping
Replies: 1
Views: 4576

Re: collar shopping

Sounds like something that's completely up to you! There is some degree of risk that you'll end up with something you didn't want, but if your desire to buy it outweighs the risk is something only you can say. Looking at reviews or contacting the sellers can also often be a good idea... they might b...

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