I think I need the sorting hat, as I feel like I could go either way with Hufflepuff or Gryffindor.

Really glad to hear this update from you, sounds like you are feeling a lot more able to work your way through this.

So, you no longer have those same feelings, and what you want in a relationship from him has changed? If not, how do you feel about pursuing something that is not what you want, and being dishonest about your feelings while being sexually intimate with this person?

Is this really okay with you? I ask because you have sounded awfully hung up on this guy, and nothing close to casual, IMO. Casual sex -- which FWB often falls under when the people involved aren't coming into it as longtime friends -- can be a fine thing, but it doesn't tend to feel so great when y...

You know, Kaizen, I wonder if you'd be up to just sitting down and writing out (here, where we can see it, too) YOUR own feelings and experiences within this relationship. In other words, what's the story of your relationship to date and how have you yourself felt in it -- the story without anyone e...

Enjoy it! I went through the final draft before it was published, and I think it is a really amazing resource. Too, we have a counselor on our advisory board here who does do online therapy, and who we know is wonderful. I don't know her availability, but if you want someone to look into we know doe...

The thing with this is that there are only a couple things we know interfere, but then a batch where the jury is out and we don't know for sure they don't. And the -cillin class is one where we just don't know yet, and there's as much evidence it doesn't interfere as there is that it might. So, that...

No, that's fine. Just figured I'd ask. And as someone who has to take a boat first to get anywhere else, I get that travel in rural spaces can be tough to work out! Have you looked into any options with online counseling services? Since online access to things clearly works for you, that might be th...

Might you be able to figure out a way to get to campus just once a week?

I'd also add that -- particularly given providers usually know how much IUDs cost, and how access to affordable methods is an issue for many, if not most, people -- it would be very unlikely for a provider to say an IUD needed to be removed if it really didn't. In other words, unless this is an issu...

We need to set and hold a hard limit with people asking us to explain, again and again, and at a level of detail that is simply unreasonable, how things that do not pose pregnancy risks just don't. It simply eats up way too much of our time and energy, including time and energy we need to spend on u...

It IS a bummer time has to take so much time: agreed, and I love how you said that! :) Really, I think you need to see what you can't do to let go of concerns that your instincts about how to grieve and deal with this are bad or wrong. All we can do in these situations is go with our guts, and check...

I also just found this very good explanation of Herpes infection and transmission for you. The language is highly medical, but if that's not an issue for you, it's quite thorough and clear: http://virus.stanford.edu/herpes/transmission.html (There's also some interesting stuff about Herpes primarily...

All of that said, btw, if and when anyone has an active infection in their body, be it an STI or otherwise, I'd strongly suggest using safer sex practices with oral sex (that means condoms for oral sex with someone with a penis, and a dental dam for someone with a vulva). That way, not only can you ...

I'm so sorry: I had answered this when you posted it, but we made some server box changes that chomped up some posts, and looks like my reply was one of them! I only knew this was still sitting without it because Redskies let me know. Anyway, this is really basic information about HSV viruses (I've ...

I am SO glad to hear you were finally able to start regular counseling. That's just wonderful, Kela. You know, if you're asking me, I'd say since this is obviously still very new (and we know that you've had a pattern that hasn't been good for you about jumping in super-fast and deep with romances),...

I'm glad to hear you got a bit of a break from this today. When you have times like the latter, and in general, how about calling up a friend instead? And how about asking a friend or two to spend more time with you now so that you can have some of these feelings with support from people who care ab...

All you really can do after-the-fact is leave things alone with your vulva and vagina. If the pain doesn't chill out in a day or so, or other things get funky -- like unusual smells or discharge that looks different than you're used to -- then you will want to check in with a sexual healthcare provi...

I'd also add that the concept of sexual aversion -- someone trying to turn off their sexuality by thinking of things, or having someone else show them things, that are supposed to be horrifying -- is archaic and something we know it's sound or healthy. It also never worked (it was initially develope...

You know, Martin, for myself, most of this has happened gradually over time, and been done by the seat of my pants without much intention, especially early on. There just were not the same resources and services when I was younger that there are now, so a lot of us were just DIY-ing it. So, I'd say ...

You already have the virus in your body, so you can't really get it again. It's in your bloodstream, not in a specific site on your body -- edited (due to some new info I'd not likely have found if you hadn't asked for more!) to specify that when it is a specific site in the body, it apparently like...

It likely is physical pain: hurting emotionally can certainly result in physical pain. Again, I'm a fan of your Mom and what's she's been saying. And I agree with you: when you are deep in this, it beyond blows. It's really freaking awful. But without getting too hokey, I do think that stuff like th...

Yep, it could have been.

Since this is so new, I think crying when you feel sad and feel like crying IS carrying those feelings well already. Again, the best way to process feelings always starts with letting ourselves have and experience them, rather than trying to shut them down. Why not give yourself at least a day to ju...

Got it. So, first I'd go ahead and figure that even all by yourself, having sexual response or desire shifts sometimes is just a thing that happens. If we're talking days, weeks or even a few months, it can sometimes just be a matter of where your overall body and head is for the time being, and be ...

Okay. Last question then: this has been going on for how long? Days, weeks, months, longer?