Just here to validate that it's hard to find the "right time" to re-establish boundaries or have a defining-the-relationship convo with someone! The best we can do is get to know our wants/needs as well as possible and express them with care <3 Thanks for validating that :D I really am th...

Also to clarify on what the California said, she said it was hard not to bug me because I’m involved with stuff and I have all these friends and she doesn’t. That was why it’s hard also including time and sleep. I really look forward fo her gift and I love her devotion and sweetness. She’s genuinely...

I think the best thing to do, if you want to tell her how you feel, is be pretty direct and keep it simple. I don't think there's anything creepy about telling someone something like "I really care about you and I'd love to find ways to connect on a deeper level or talk more often," and I...

That’s actually great! I’m just a little nervous I’m going to be telling her at the wrong time and that she may not love me. She seems quite receptive though and quite loving in return with her words. I would like to tell her when it’s the right time and perhaps after I talk with her next.

In addition, I want to tell you some feelings I had. I want to relieve them in some way, I know I am tired and this may be resolved, but here is what happened. I was going to talk to the Irish woman today, even arranged a time, when she got a head sore and she wanted to postpone. I agreed and I am e...

There's nothing cold or mean about having boundaries. Boundaries set limits for us to have space inside of. They aren't cold. They aren't unempathetic. We aren't without empathy to differentiate between ourselves and other people. This is how we have healthy interactions and relationships with othe...

Sounds like perhaps you two need to have a conversation about it? It's not hard to remember if someone we're dating says not to contact them past a certain hour. If we have a hard time, we can always write ourselves a note somewhere. I'd suggest you ask to have a conversation about it, and tell her...

Can I ask what happens if, when she does that, you gently remind her that you're sorry, but like you told her, you need a boundary part a certain time and you can't reply to her after then? Sometimes she will acknowledge that, but when she is stressed and I don’t reply, she continues to text me. Sh...

I do want to try the ritual. I really also want to talk to her more. We opened up to each other much more than we know and we have stuff in common, however, I don’t know if it’s me or whatnot, but I want to try hard to get that spark going again. I don’t know if it’s that I discovered much more diff...

I’m going to try it tonight, but after my final exam and extra credit. The ritual that is, but I’m not sure if I would make that a daily thing or a thing at all.

In addition, with my finals coming up, yesterday, I have discussed with the Californian girl about my finals and about the time and she said understood. She also wanted do a nighttime ritual for literally a minute she says goodnight and blows kisses to me. I said that I cannot do it every night, whi...

I will say that, since these two relationships are still pretty new, it's not that strange to still be working out where the boundaries in them need to be. For instance, with sleep and the time difference, it might just be a matter of talking with the California girl and picking out times of day wh...

I also noticed you saying that you didn't want the relationships to overshadow your social life/life outside of romance -- I'm in total agreement with you there. Do you want to talk more about how this has come up in your relationships? In general, I have noticed especially when finals are coming u...

I also want to visit her before I “break it off” or just stay as friends or maybe evaluate it more. Because I am sending her a package and our moms talked to each other! They are nice and civil and get along so well, so I want to keep that while it’s still going. I just don’t want to break it off to...

Thank you so much, Lately I’ve been trying to set boundaries with her as well and our dates have been going well. Sometimes though, like yesterday she was in a fit of anxiety and needed to talk to me. Sometimes, when I’m not responsive, she will spam text or call, like today and yesterday. Usually I...

Also I don’t know if it’s just me that feels upset today, but I feel sometimes as if I am neglecting my friends for the Californian girl, not just the other one. But I want to interact with my other friends and every day it is her. She eventually understood my need to sleep but only in a few texts l...

Relationships are a lot of give-and-take; you do have to compromise on many things, but don't always have to sacrifice much. It sounds like sometimes you feel you must sacrifice things like sleep and self-care in order to be attentive to her, which isn't the case. Of course if she needs you urgentl...

Also, I sometimes feel like I need do more for this relationship, but we are already not doing anything. She even said I do not need to do anything. However, I feel sometimes she has no idea what I am talking about sometimes and I should change the topic. It’s not her fault, but I should accommodate...

Ah, okay, thank you for clarifying that! I'm sorry that your best friend texted you those things. There's nothing wrong with non-monogamy or with casual relationships, as long as everyone involved is on the same page (which it sounds like you are). Too, given how new these relationships are, there'...

Thanks. I will get to know both of them! I would like to also ask some questions. What is the difference between if a relationship is going to fade and if I’m going to need to keep a relationship afloat, you know like some people do in their mid-40s. Like sometimes I feel like it’s my fault for not ...

. And having them doesn't mean you're objectifying these two people; it just means you're being clear about what your limits are. No, what I’m saying is that I am treating their relationships rather than loose and relaxed. Like I’m not committed. To be honest, they really like me despite me saying ...

Hey Sabine, I asked my boyfriend for permission to sleep with someone else who lives closer to me and he broke up with me. I told him that I wouldn't do anything that he wouldn't want me to do. But then he told me that he thinks we should go our separate ways. I then called him and asked him to giv...

Hey Sabine, I asked my boyfriend for permission to sleep with someone else who lives closer to me and he broke up with me. I told him that I wouldn't do anything that he wouldn't want me to do. But then he told me that he thinks we should go our separate ways. I then called him and asked him to giv...

I do want to say that it's not heartless to not be ready to say "I love you " to someone you're still getting to know, or to set boundaries around things like when you want to talk on camera (and especially not around things like someone who lives in a country with rising cases visiting y...

Yes I would. I would do that. In fact, our parents got to know eachother, which is good. But then, afterwards I wanted to talk to her about Nieztche and analysis and it occurred to me that she doesn’t share the same desire to that as much as I do - the same intellectual fire. The Northern Irish girl...