Hi sky, Thank you for respecting our boundaries and limits. We always want to do our best, but as you know, we do have to draw the line at discussing suicide. However, I want to remind you that there ARE other resources that you can contact for help and support when it comes to causing self-harm. Pl...

Hey sky, This is a general note in response to all the questions you've been asking and things that you've been bringing up. I hope it's okay that I say that I'm really proud of you for asking all these things, reflecting on yourself, how your experience with life and your sexuality has been, where ...

Hey sky, We are so happy to help! Please keep asking all your questions - that's what we are here for. I'm also sorry you've had to learn so much from the internet. Many of us were/are in the same boat, and your family members probably didn't get great sex education, or learn how to share what they ...

I have small breasts (34 A) so I don't have a lot of tissue mass that show under my shirt, and I don't experience very much movement. However, my nipples do show pretty clearly regardless of what shirt I'm wearing. It took me a long time to get comfortable with the idea of other people seeing my nip...

Hi Mel, I haven't had a chance to respond in detail yet, but either I or someone else will soon. In the meantime, I'll happily tell you again no matter how many times you ask: yes, this is okay. No, I don't think you're weird. Nope, you're not crazy. Sex and sexuality are complicated things with lot...

Hi Mel, I can't tell you whether you would like sex with a guy or not - that's an individual experience. I can say, though, that the reasons we pursue experiences DO affect their outcome. If you felt emotionally, intellectually, and/or physically excited at the thought of having sex with a guy, then...

Hi Mel! Amanda here! I want to echo what Heather wrote and say - You. Are. Normal! Bi people exist, lesbians exist, queer people exist, every sexuality is real and exists and is VALID. You are valid. You are normal and worthy of celebration! <3 I know it can be hard to change how we feel about ourse...

You're very welcome! No pressure to try any DIY toys - just do what feels right and comfortable to you

I have had similar experiences - and in fact, I started to enjoy NOT wearing a bra so much that I never wear one any more! I sometimes will wear nipple covers because I prefer not to have them stand out (pun intended :P). Wearing a bra (or not) should be, and is, such a personal decision. For me, it...

Hi Melissa, An electric toothbrush is a pretty common DIY sex toy . I'm glad you're not using the same one you use to brush your teeth - keep those separate :) However, the bristles might irritate the soft tissue inside your body, which could lead to irritation or an infection, so you shouldn't inse...

Hi humanbeing, Part of why your ex's actions weren't okay was, as you've identified, your lack of clear and enthusiastic consent. As others have mentioned, sexual partners should be much more concerned about your well-being and health than their own sexual gratification, and it sounds like (for at l...

Hey humanbeing, I'm sorry to hear about the recent upsets in your life - but so glad you felt comfortable coming back to Scarleteen to talk it through with us. It seems like you're feeling a lot differently about the relationship and your ex now that you're no longer together. That makes sense - we ...

Great question, RadiantRay! I did get some formal education, but it was basically all about pregnancy and STI prevention. There was nothing about pleasure, either via masturbation or with a partner. I wish I had learned more about how different bodies can experience pleasure, and how to ask for what...

Hi shypixie, I hear you - I'm shy on the phone, too! Fortunately there are other resources that you can use via text. If you're finding yourself in crisis, or thinking about self-harming, you can reach out to the Crisis Text Line (https://www.crisistextline.org/) by texting to 741741 (in the USA). I...

It's never too late to make a career change! I'm 30 and doing the same thing after 10 years working in the life sciences. You're in a good place to make that change

Hi tworubberducks, welcome to the Scarleteen boards! We're glad you're here :) It's awesome that you're feeling comfortable in your sexuality and are identifying new things you want to explore, like using a vibrator. I see how this could be a tricky thing to bring up to your mother, not knowing how ...

Self-love and acceptance can do wonders for our mental health. Sometimes, in a society that's always telling us to improve our bodies, it can be extra-empowering to love yourself. What are some things you love about your body? These can be ways that your body looks, feels, or smells - anything you l...

Every kind of relationship - romantic, sexual, platonic - can (and should!) involved an exchange of some kind of good feelings from everyone involved. How do you like the people in your life to show you that they care about you? Do you like physical affection, like hugs or kisses? Is sex a way of sh...

Not so much my period (which mostly feels a bit inconvenient), but I've noticed one good thing about PMS. For a day or two before my period, I feel extra-strong and badass. I'm much more able/willing to really speak my mind because I feel less worried about what other people think of me. PMS also ha...

Hey Stuck, Grief and loss are complicated and it makes sense that you've having a lot of mixed feelings. I think you're still being really hard on yourself. Heather brought up some really good points about how we can't be "the best" partner when the relationship itself and/or our partner i...

Personally, if I found myself with a partner who couldn't be really chill and cool about the numerous moments of transition or needed pause or adjustments or communications or interruptions that often happen during sex (including even with ourselves in masturbation!), I'd be reconsidering being wit...

And just to respond to your comments about having a partner who was frustrated during sexual experiences in the past, because of timing or transitions or whatever - -You 100% get to take as long as you need to to feel good. Whether it's 5 minutes or 30 minutes or an hour. Your body is awesome and so...

Sian is right - you're being hard on yourself. None of those difficult experiences were your fault - they're a product of the crappy sex education (or lack thereof) we receive, which doesn't tell us anything about how to learn what we enjoy, how to communicate with a partner, how to deal with transi...

Hey contemplation, Great suggestions from the Scarleteen staff here! I wanted to echo Mo's comment - being into feet doesn't make you a creep or a pervert at all. It's perfectly normal for people to have sexual interests in various things. In fact, foot fetishes are one of the most common types of f...

Hey Wulfie, It sounds like finding an understanding and accepting doctor could help a lot. The World Professional Association for Transgender Health has a list of recommended providers , including a few in the Netherlands. If they're near you, maybe one of them would be a good person to visit should...