You’re definitely not alone. I don’t enjoy penetration at all, it’s not bad I just get no pleasure. But you keep hearing about how intercourses is the be it all for sex which is wrong, heteronormative, and just generalizing sexuality when it’s really really broad. Outercourse is much more appealing ...

Sorry for the really late reply. Yes, that makes sense. I just tend to be a perfectionist so I’m hard on myself, but I’m trying to work on it. I think a lot of what you said would be helpful, realizing that we’ve grown up in a society based on assumptions regarding gender and how people of certain g...

Hi, Thanks for the response. I didn’t end up staying at his house for other reasons, but even though the uncomfortable feeling has lessened it’s still there. Like my mom mentioned that I may not want to tell my dad since he might have reservations about it. And I hate that because I know it’s probab...

I just told my mom I was staying at a friend’s house tomorrow and she was shocked when I told her it was a male friend with a male roommate. I didn’t think about it being a big deal but now I’m wondering. Isn’t it heteronormative to think it’s weird to have male and female roommates? Then again me q...

Is there any reason why penile-vaginal intercourse is often considered “real” sex?

Hi, Xmetalgirl, hope you don’t mind me popping in. First off, I can only imagine how upsetting this is. You wanted a relationship with him deeper than the one you have now but he doesn’t. That can be incredibly frustrating and sad. But bear in mind no one can make another person “want” to be in a re...

Thanks for replying. Yeah, I think it would be good for me to tell her. I’m just nervous; I’ve never brought up anything this serious and intimate with my therapist before. But I’ve had her for awhile and am starting to feel more comfortable with her. I know I can bring it up with her, it’s just the...

Hearing all these reports of men being revealed to have sexually assaulted someone has triggered some anxiety in me. I know most men aren’t abusers but what’s really scaring me is when people who knew the assaulters day that they never expected them to do that. It just makes me wonder if it can happ...

Trust me, I don’t have all the answers but I’m glad I was able to help. And feel free to come back here if you have any other questions

I know it’s frustrating not being 100% sure how you feel but trust me a LOT of people are the same boat. I think I changed my sexuality on here 3 times! What you feel now doesn’t negate what you felt in the past; it’s like if you used to enjoy a hobby at a younger age but now it doesn’t interest you...

Echoing what everyone else has said, I am very sorry that happened to you. It’s not in any way your fault, it’s his fault, and you didn’t deserve to experience that. I don’t know if you’re religious in any way but I will keep you in my thoughts and I hope you can find the support you need

First off, I’m very sorry that happened to you. It shouldn’t have happened to you. You are not overreacting; he raped you. A person inebriated in any way cannot consent to sexual activity. Even if you didn’t say no you didn’t say yes; either way, you didn’t give your consent to him. I’m really worri...

Haha it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one and it can happen to anyone regardless of age. I finally managed to speak to him this week even though it was just small talk but it was better than nothing :) I’m sure it’ll get easier in time. Thanks for responding. I know my question wasn’t super s...

It’s really personal if you are attracted to men and women. Maybe if you can spend some time alone with your thoughts without media or other people telling you how you’re “supposed” to be it could make things a bit easier. I still think we don’t have everything figured out but maybe you’ll understan...

Hi, LavaLamp, Don’t worry about your post being too long - I read the whole thing. And my response will probably be long (if not longer) and this might be all over the place so I apologize if it’s hard to read. I guess first where I want to start off is saying that sexuality is complicated, as I’m s...

True, I guess I just feel like I keep finding excuses not to talk to him because I’m so nervous. I have things to say to him, I just feel like I can’t which is sort of frustrating. I mean when I actually talk to him it’s easier, but it’s still difficult haha. But I’m sure it will get easier in time ...

So I’ve been at my new college for a while but I recently realized I have this MAJOR crush on this staff member. I know there’s no relationship allowed between staff and student, so I’m not going to ask him out or anything like that. But my feelings are stubborn :P I’ve never majorly crushed on a gu...

Just wanted to add that maybe intercourse isn’t your thing, at least right now. Sometimes people feel like intercourse is the only “real” sex when sex is quite broad, but that might not have been something that crossed your mind. In any case, I’m sure you and your boyfriend will find something you b...

Hi I am feeling better now thankfully. I realized I’m being pretty hard on myself and I’m eeally just hurting me not other people which almost makes it worse. I just have a hard time accepting dealing with mental illnesses chronically. I told my therapist that and she gave me similar advice to what ...

So I haven’t been feeling well mentally at all. I’m in treatment but I’m just really angry that I have to deal with this probably for the rest of my life. So last night I did something not so smart - I took an extra pill of one my antidepressants. I didn’t experience any negative effects but in hind...

You keep using the words “force” and “pressure” when referring to your boyfriend’s treatment of you. You also said that he said he wished you looked like other girls. My mouth actually dropped when I read that because it’s just showing more and more that this guy does not respect you. I know you wan...

Hi, This might come across as rude and I apologize beforehand if it does, but I think the biggest problem in this picture is your boyfriend. From what you wrote, he does not respect your requests. You said you told him multiple times you don’t want to move in before marriage but he’s ignored your wi...

Hi, Just going to throw my two cents in here: I’ve been masturbating since I was 6 or so years old. It’s not always sexual when you masturbate, it feels good to many people so sometimes you just do it for that reason. It’s actually quite common for kids to masturbate, so I don’t think it’s inappropr...

Sam summed up one of the first ones that came to mind. For me I also want to get over the idea that sexuality is 100% fixed for everyone. I still feel like I mostly identify as heterosexual but sometimes I feel fluid and I thought I had to “choose” but sexuality is wayyy more complicated than I prev...

Thanks for the rrrsponse. And to my knowledge, no one in my family is queer. It was simmering in my mind but I agree that I should listen to the queer community tell me that it’s offensive instead of assuming.