Hi Cliffe, What Heather and Sian are trying to say that even if you feel like you're "behind" other people your age, where you're at right now may be "normal" for you. Each person's "normal" is different, and even if it seems like it, people don't grow/develop at the sa...

Hi sky, I'm glad to hear it helped! Even if you haven't had sex with someone else before, you still have a whole lot more information than someone who hasn't ever had solo sex before. You said it yourself - your body responds well to what you're doing because you're patient, and know your body and m...

Hi sky, I understand why it might feel like there's pressure to have insertive sex (using this instead of the p-word because you and many others don't like it) - the dominant narrative in heterocentric, phallus-centric culture focuses on insertive sex as the end-all-be-all of sexuality. But there ar...

Hi SamanthaXYZ, I'm sorry to hear that you're in pain! I can't say for sure why you're experiencing this pain, because I'm not a doctor and this is the internet, but if I had to bet, it would be general soreness from either not taking things slowly enough, not being aroused enough, not using lube, o...

Hi there M-Wiser, I just wanted to pop in here and say that there's absolutely nothing wrong with having had 4 partners! Here at Scarleteen we really believe that there's nothing wrong with having lots of sex, or no sex at all, and everything in between, as long as you're doing it willingly and maki...

Hi there hinata, Why do you think that hearing that story felt scary? (Which, I should add, isn't proof necessarily that having been with an older person caused it, it just means that that particular person passed away at that time. Like Sam said, there isn't any well-researched scientific evidence ...

Hi Thea, I just wanted to pop in real quick and say that I'm really, really glad that you're here. Scarleteen is a space that was really important to me as a young person, back before I was even engaging with my sexuality or gender identity. I grew up in a small rural town where most people had very...

Hi AphroditeLoves, I'm sorry to hear that things are still feeling confusing, but I'm glad you're here following up and talking about how you feel. I totally hear what you're saying about how self-blame feels like an explanation. That's a pretty common experience for people who have gone through dif...

Hi everglow, There's a lot of horrible and abuse-perpetuating stuff out there on the internet. I'm glad that you've been able to find a place like us and a way to express the frustration that you're feeling. You bring up a really good question - what's stopping these guys (and other people that choo...

Hi Aphroditeloves, I want to second everything that Heather said and add something in particular about child sexuality. Even if you acted in certain ways, or initiated “sexual” behavior with anyone older than you, they should have had the ability to recognize that as it was and not engage (and ideal...

So, so happy to hear it, BuddyBoi. I’m glad you’re getting to experience those feelings of joy and sparkles and excitement and positive nerves, even if they were preceded by some anxiety. Meeting new people and putting yourself out there is always a little risky, especially when we’re disabled or ne...

Hi PowerPup! This was such a lovely little post to read - I love opportunities to check in just for the sake of checking in. I'm doing pretty well at the moment - I just finished watching a really great episode of that show Making It, wherein one of my favorite crafters finished a really beautiful s...

Hi there artsandcrafts, I'm glad that you're taking your time to think about your feelings and not rushing into things. I totally know what you mean about taking on too much when things are good, because it feels like there won't be that many chances, or your body might turn on you at any moment. Th...

Hi there AphroditeLoves, and welcome to Scarleteen! [Edited to add - horriblegoose got in here first, but here's my take!] First off I want to just affirm how great it is that you're taking time to think about what you want your sexual experiences to feel like if/when you eventually have them. You'r...

Hi BuddyBoi,

So glad to hear that you've been putting yourself out there, even if it's taken you out of your comfort zone!

As for Saturday, what's making you feel anxious about it? Would it help to talk through them at all here?

Sky, I’m not entirely sure why you’re apologizing, but you certainly don’t have to apologize for not being able to get into therapy this week. I’m sorry to hear you’re dealing with medical stuff that has you out of work as well, I know firsthand how much that sucks. Do you feel like it has an effect...

Hi MuchShy, Just jumping in here to say - when you see articles and things online that say “Don’t settle for a relationship without oral sex”, they’re usually addressing a person who enjoys and wants to have oral sex in their relationship, but has not communicated with their partner what they want a...

Hi there spotteddog, It often takes a bit for any changes in hormonal birth control to take effect- that’s likely what’s happening. For folks who are trying to take the pill continuously, it can take a few cycles for the body to catch up and react to that consistent dose of hormones. As long as you’...

Hi Justyne, I'm not sure why they told you a different number of weeks - it's possible that they misunderstood the timing if you had shared when you were sexually active, or they could have misinterpreted an ultrasound/blood test. Did you ask them about the discrepancy? That's definitely the type of...

Hi sky, I'm sorry to hear that you're experiencing this confusion. I wanted to say though, that what Mo said to you in chat is coming from a pretty solid place: as a member of our volunteer staff, they're only interested in you exploring your sexuality in ways that keep you safe, comfortable, and re...

Hi aprilspring, I just wanted to pop in here really quick and say that it's okay for you to have feelings of jealousy or insecurity sometimes - you're a human being. It makes sense that you might be looking for a little more reassurance and connection if you're unable to spend time with your boyfrie...

Hi Julia, It totally seems counterintuitive to still have pregnancy protection during a week where you’re not taking pills, I know. But the explanation is pretty simple: by that 4th week, you’ve already gone through the stages of the menstrual cycle and the ovulation has already been prevented, so t...

I self-isolated in a really healthy way! I managed to get a catsitting gig at my parents' house for the holiday, and so rather than the fuss and stress of cooking a big meal (of food that I don't actually like) or being with relatives who I don't get along with, I got to spend it watching Supernatur...

Hi Pan, I'm not sure what the clinical recommendations are where you're at, but here in the U.S., men aren't screened for prostate cancer or abnormalities until they're much older (40, at least). You can read more about that here: https://www.cdc.gov/cancer/prostate/basic_info/screening.htm But if y...

I'm glad I could help! And I totally know how you feel - I once cried when I was walking my dog outside for the first time after a 6-day-long pain flareup. I was like, "the trees! the sky! they're so beautiful! life is beautiful!", all because I wasn't experiencing that constant pain for t...