Search found 85 matches

by Herstory
Mon Jan 21, 2019 4:27 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate
Replies: 16
Views: 5776

Re: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate

I went to a victim empowerment program 2 years ago that helped me deal with some of my abuse, but not all of it. And I still live with my parents because I can’t afford to pay for college and live at a dorm and my parents wouldn’t support me financially whatsoever if I moved out, so I’d probably end...
by Herstory
Mon Jan 21, 2019 2:58 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate
Replies: 16
Views: 5776

Re: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate

Everyone in my life has made it clear to me that vaginal intercourse is the ultimate and only form of sex. I feel like I just wasn't worthy enough to have been raped in the right way. I feel like such a piece of sh*t for not liking intercourse. I feel like something is so so wrong with me because I ...
by Herstory
Mon Jan 21, 2019 2:42 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate
Replies: 16
Views: 5776

Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate

My parents would beat me when they asked if I was having sex. I would get hit so many times because my parents didn’t want me having sex. They would constantly interrogate me about my sexual practices. “Are you having sex? Tell us the truth! I know you’re having sex. Look at me!” So to not feel guil...
by Herstory
Mon Jan 14, 2019 9:17 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Is it possible to date someone who invalidates your sex?
Replies: 9
Views: 2675

Re: Is it possible to date someone who invalidates your sex?

She then told me she never wants to see me again and now she’s saying she wants to see me and is telling me to meet up with her and stay with her. I really don’t know what to do.
by Herstory
Mon Jan 14, 2019 6:41 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Is it possible to date someone who invalidates your sex?
Replies: 9
Views: 2675

Re: Is it possible to date someone who invalidates your sex?

I finally got the courage to do it, but now she keeps asking me why and telling me to stay. She says that she’ll change her behavior and that she didn’t mean anything that she did. Also, that she feels I’m going to leave with a bad impression of her and she wants more time to fix it. She also is mak...
by Herstory
Sun Jan 13, 2019 9:44 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Is it possible to date someone who invalidates your sex?
Replies: 9
Views: 2675

Re: Is it possible to date someone who invalidates your sex?

Also, I left some of my stuff at her place.
by Herstory
Sun Jan 13, 2019 9:43 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Is it possible to date someone who invalidates your sex?
Replies: 9
Views: 2675

Re: Is it possible to date someone who invalidates your sex?

She doesn't have email, so it would have to be through text.
by Herstory
Sat Jan 12, 2019 10:07 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Is it possible to date someone who invalidates your sex?
Replies: 9
Views: 2675

Re: Is it possible to date someone who invalidates your sex?

I haven’t told her yet, mostly because I haven’t had the time, but also because I’m scared what she will say and/or do. I think this fear comes from being in many abusive relationships in my past and it feels silly to feel scared to do it, but I am. As soon as I do though, I’m taking a break from da...
by Herstory
Wed Jan 09, 2019 9:53 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Is it possible to date someone who invalidates your sex?
Replies: 9
Views: 2675

Is it possible to date someone who invalidates your sex?

I'm just curious if it is possible to date someone who discredits your way of sex and experiencing pleasure. If you have different perspectives on what sex is, could you still have a healthy relationship with them? If they discredit the experiences you had and your sexuality, can you still date them...
by Herstory
Mon Jan 07, 2019 7:21 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I feel like a slut because of my identity
Replies: 21
Views: 4821

Re: I feel like a slut because of my identity

I am just afraid that they will try to manipulate me into staying or make me feel bad for leaving. I've had bad situations in the past where I broke up with someone and they screamed at me and made me feel extremely guilty for breaking up with them and I'm just a little scared it will happen again w...
by Herstory
Mon Jan 07, 2019 11:18 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I feel like a slut because of my identity
Replies: 21
Views: 4821

Re: I feel like a slut because of my identity

Also, how do I tell my partner I don’t want to see her anymore in a safe way? Should I do it in person or through text?
by Herstory
Mon Jan 07, 2019 11:17 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I feel like a slut because of my identity
Replies: 21
Views: 4821

Re: I feel like a slut because of my identity

I think you’re right about the abuse part. I feel like her saying that shows her true opinion of me and it probably will only get worse. I feel like she pretends to be okay with who I am as a control tactic. In regards to what sex means to people, I’m a little confused about what you said. Can I rea...
by Herstory
Sun Jan 06, 2019 7:39 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I feel like a slut because of my identity
Replies: 21
Views: 4821

Re: I feel like a slut because of my identity

I have been reading some of the books you sent me and they are amazing! They’re extremely helpful, so thank you for the suggestions. I had another question about this topic. My partner said that they realize that what they said was wrong and they won’t do it again, but after he calling me that word,...
by Herstory
Thu Jan 03, 2019 1:33 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I feel like a slut because of my identity
Replies: 21
Views: 4821

Re: I feel like a slut because of my identity

I saw a counselor around 2 years ago specifically about the abuse and trauma I’ve faced in my life, but I feel like I’m reverting back to old habits. I’m seeing another therapist to get that resolved, but it’s been very hard. He’s the 6th therapist I’ve seen and he’s the only one who actually valida...
by Herstory
Thu Jan 03, 2019 10:40 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I feel like a slut because of my identity
Replies: 21
Views: 4821

Re: I feel like a slut because of my identity

Im not very good at walking away from people who mistreat me or abuse me. I give people a lot of chances and hope they will change their behavior towards me even though deep down I know they won’t. I don’t know why I have so much trouble walking away from toxic people. Sometimes I feel like I even s...
by Herstory
Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:09 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I feel like a slut because of my identity
Replies: 21
Views: 4821

Re: I feel like a slut because of my identity

I feel like not many people accept my sexuality. Are there really people out there who will love me for all I am, despite my labels?

And how do I set limits from the start. I feel like i do set them but maybe I am not clear enough. How can I be clear in my boundaries, expectations, and limits?
by Herstory
Wed Jan 02, 2019 1:14 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I feel like a slut because of my identity
Replies: 21
Views: 4821

Re: I feel like a slut because of my identity

Yes, please. I would like to have healthier relationships in my life and a healthier perspective of myself.
by Herstory
Wed Jan 02, 2019 10:37 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I feel like a slut because of my identity
Replies: 21
Views: 4821

Re: I feel like a slut because of my identity

Well, I came out as polyamorous and bisexual with my precious partner, but he didn’t take it too well. He said that I was promiscuous and undeserving of him because of my poly label and he sexualized me with my bi label. He would say that it was his fault I identified the way I did and would ask me ...
by Herstory
Tue Jan 01, 2019 9:58 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I feel like a slut because of my identity
Replies: 21
Views: 4821

Re: I feel like a slut because of my identity

Currently I’m in a polyamorous relationship with a woman, although it’s more of a casual relationship. I told her about who I was, my preferences, and my sexuality and she seemed extremely uncomfortable with the idea. I am very open with her and tell her about the other relations I have, but she sti...
by Herstory
Tue Jan 01, 2019 7:20 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: I feel like a slut because of my identity
Replies: 21
Views: 4821

I feel like a slut because of my identity

Hello. I am a polyamorous, bisexual woman and I have been struggling with my identity for some time now. I can't help but think that because I am polyamorous and bisexual, I am just promiscuous and undeserving of any real love. I know that it's not true, that I do deserve love, but it's so hard to f...
by Herstory
Thu Nov 22, 2018 8:29 am
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Thank you
Replies: 2
Views: 2082

Thank you

I just wanted to take a moment to thank the Scarleteen community this Thanksgiving for being so supportive, for helping me overcome my issues with my sexuality, and for always providing a safe platform for me to discuss my preferences. You all have helped me through my confusing journey through disc...
by Herstory
Mon Nov 05, 2018 6:24 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Trying to be Friends but Failing
Replies: 6
Views: 2939

Re: Trying to be Friends but Failing

I am not sure. He doesn’t communicate very well. I could try talking to him about it but right now I kinda don’t want to talk to him at all. I’m kinda tired of him pushing me away all the time.
by Herstory
Mon Nov 05, 2018 4:35 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Trying to be Friends but Failing
Replies: 6
Views: 2939

Re: Trying to be Friends but Failing

He and I have had one one on one hang out and I think it went great, but also kind of weird because of the whole bra thing. I think he really overstepped his boundaries there and I have no idea why he thought he could do that.
by Herstory
Mon Nov 05, 2018 4:12 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Trying to be Friends but Failing
Replies: 6
Views: 2939

Trying to be Friends but Failing

I had a friends with benefits last year. He was a cool person and we had a lot of fun having sex. We’re both sarcastic, witty, share the same views on life, and have similar interests. Because of this, we got closer than we both expected and I don’t think he was really comfortable with that because ...
by Herstory
Sun Oct 14, 2018 3:21 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: In a relationship but developed feelings for my best friend
Replies: 10
Views: 3994

Re: In a relationship but developed feelings for my best friend

We broke up. I honestly couldn’t answer you why. I don’t know why I stayed in the relationship as long as I did and why I tried to force it as much as I did. Especially knowing that I had feelings for my best friend. He hurt me a lot and it was a constant reminder of that pain being with him. I’m no...

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