Search found 85 matches

by Herstory
Wed Apr 10, 2019 11:22 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: How to cope with an expected death of a partner
Replies: 8
Views: 5897

Re: How to cope with an expected death of a partner

He was diagnosed with a malignant type of meningioma around a year ago. It was stage two. He got surgery to remove it and it was successful, but there was still some left. It also left him without vision in one of his eyes and without hearing in one of his ears. He had to continue with chemo because...
by Herstory
Wed Apr 10, 2019 4:08 am
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: How to cope with an expected death of a partner
Replies: 8
Views: 5897

How to cope with an expected death of a partner

It’s been a while since I posted but a lot has happened since then. I finally met the love of my life. Someone who loves me for all of who I am, and not just the parts they think are worthy of love. Someone who cares about me, and not just for their own personal gain. Someone who understands all of ...
by Herstory
Sat Mar 16, 2019 8:00 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: How do I get rid of sex shame?
Replies: 7
Views: 2667

Re: How do I get rid of sex shame?

I will talk to my therapist about this next week. We have been trying different strategies to get me out of this hole, like habituation, but it doesn’t feel like it’s doing much. Just making me numb to the abuse I’ve been through, not really helping my thought process. Maybe it’s because I haven’t s...
by Herstory
Wed Mar 13, 2019 10:17 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: How do I get rid of sex shame?
Replies: 7
Views: 2667

Re: How do I get rid of sex shame?

I think I agree with you that it’s something I’m very attached to and is hard to shake off. I don’t think I think this way on my own. Unfortunately, I was raised in a very abusive household and have had a lot of abusive relationships (both romantic and platonic) that have warped my perceptions on se...
by Herstory
Tue Mar 12, 2019 3:18 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: How do I get rid of sex shame?
Replies: 7
Views: 2667

Re: How do I get rid of sex shame?

I have a lot of triggers honestly. I don’t really watch movies or TV shows anymore because I’m scared I’ll be triggered. Everytime I see a woman get raped on TV, or be pressured in any way to have sex (especially intercourse) it throws me back. I also get uncomfortable at the way sex is portrayed in...
by Herstory
Tue Mar 12, 2019 11:43 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: How do I get rid of sex shame?
Replies: 7
Views: 2667

How do I get rid of sex shame?

Hello. So, I decided after the last time we talked to just be by myself. I deleted all my dating apps, I stopped talking to love interests, and I just focused on myself with no desire to initiate anything with anyone. The moment I did that was the moment my current partner came into my life, out of ...
by Herstory
Thu Jan 31, 2019 10:55 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Vaginal Intercourse Is Not Sex For Me
Replies: 11
Views: 3865

Re: Vaginal Intercourse Is Not Sex For Me

Honestly, what I truly desire is clarification. I’m sorry if my posts came out as aggressive. That was not my intention whatsoever. I just have a lot of confusing thoughts running in my head about sex and I would really just like to understand.
by Herstory
Thu Jan 31, 2019 10:47 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Vaginal Intercourse Is Not Sex For Me
Replies: 11
Views: 3865

Re: Vaginal Intercourse Is Not Sex For Me

I apologize for all the questions, but I’m really just trying to figure this out. The reason why I keep bringing this up is because I’m extremely confused and flustered with the whole concept of sex. The other day I had a conversation with Heather and it confused me even more: Me: I’ve been reading ...
by Herstory
Thu Jan 31, 2019 9:05 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Vaginal Intercourse Is Not Sex For Me
Replies: 11
Views: 3865

Re: Vaginal Intercourse Is Not Sex For Me

Why don’t they have the write to tell me if even in the law it makes clear that there are things that are and aren’t sex? In Florida, the definition of rape is forceful penetration, but that excludes many sex acts and those sex acts, if forced upon, wouldn’t be “rape” according to that definition; l...
by Herstory
Thu Jan 31, 2019 8:17 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Vaginal Intercourse Is Not Sex For Me
Replies: 11
Views: 3865

Re: Vaginal Intercourse Is Not Sex For Me

Why is it that people have the right to define sex the way they choose, except when it comes to vaginal intercourse? It really feels like we all have to accept that vaginal intercourse as the ultimate and only form of sex, but other acts aren’t that important or significant enough to be “real”. To m...
by Herstory
Thu Jan 31, 2019 8:10 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Vaginal Intercourse Is Not Sex For Me
Replies: 11
Views: 3865

Re: Vaginal Intercourse Is Not Sex For Me

The thing is people tell me all the time that the sex I have (manual stimulation, mutual masturbation, nipple play, etc) is not sex. Why is it that people can claim that the way I have sex is not sex, but I can’t tell people that, to me, vaginal intercourse is not sex? Why is vagina intercourse put ...
by Herstory
Wed Jan 30, 2019 7:01 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Vaginal Intercourse Is Not Sex For Me
Replies: 11
Views: 3865

Re: Vaginal Intercourse Is Not Sex For Me

I actually just posted it on reddit and got these responses: “Um. This is stupid? Sorry. Vaginal intercourse it’s like the literal and historical definition of sex. I don’t ‘feel’ any kind of way about it. Like does anyone feel like being behind the wheel of a car and operating its controls while tr...
by Herstory
Wed Jan 30, 2019 6:28 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Vaginal Intercourse Is Not Sex For Me
Replies: 11
Views: 3865

Vaginal Intercourse Is Not Sex For Me

I was just wondering if anyone else feels like vaginal intercourse is not sex for them. I feel so alone in my thoughts. I’ve never met anyone else who doesn’t think vaginal intercourse is sex and when I do tell people, they tell me I’m crazy. Am I crazy for feeling and thinking this way? It feels li...
by Herstory
Mon Jan 28, 2019 10:34 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Was it assault?
Replies: 6
Views: 2785

Re: Was it assault?

I will be talking to my therapist about it. We’re now trying to work on exposure therapy so that I get less anxious when I’m triggered and sent back to scary experiences that have happened to me. I guess this can be one of the experiences we work on.
by Herstory
Mon Jan 28, 2019 7:51 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Was it assault?
Replies: 6
Views: 2785

Re: Was it assault?

It was unpleasant and a scary situation. When I told my best friend (who’s his best friend) he kinda just told me it was my fault and that I was an adult and could consent. I think he said that because he didn’t want to think about the possibility of his best friend taking advantage of me. But I def...
by Herstory
Sun Jan 27, 2019 10:02 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Was it assault?
Replies: 6
Views: 2785

Was it assault?

Hello. In light of recent events, I started thinking about something that happened to me a long time ago. I was at a party with my friends and at the time I had a friends with benefits who was there too. We were all drinking, but I was the one who drank the most and got the most drunk. I was so drun...
by Herstory
Sun Jan 27, 2019 9:52 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Scared My Drink Spiked
Replies: 2
Views: 2304

Re: Scared My Drink Spiked

Luckily my friend was there and she helped me through out the whole night. But we both noticed a guy that kept following us around in the bar which was a little concerning and we both didn’t feel safe so we left, but in the car ride back to her dorm I started to pass out. Nothing bad happened though...
by Herstory
Sun Jan 27, 2019 2:55 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Scared My Drink Spiked
Replies: 2
Views: 2304

Scared My Drink Spiked

Hello! So last night, my friend and I went to a bar to just chill and unwind for the week. We both had 3 cocktails and two shots, which is lower than I normally even drink, and I started to blackout, pass out, and throw up instantly. My friend is the same height, same weight as me and she didn’t exp...
by Herstory
Fri Jan 25, 2019 8:25 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate
Replies: 16
Views: 5786

Re: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate

Here in Florida, we queer people don’t have state protection against discrimination of any kind, so it’s not like we can even report it. Do the laws need to change? Yes. But it can’t because we have a senator and governor that doesn’t support or prioritize our rights and there’s not enough light bei...
by Herstory
Fri Jan 25, 2019 8:21 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate
Replies: 16
Views: 5786

Re: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate

I have told him about it. I’m currently taking medication to alleviate symptoms, but maybe they’re just not giving me enough. I’m trying to hang out with my one friend who understands me and trying to get support from her, but she’s not a professional so I just have to wait to see my therapist. Even...
by Herstory
Thu Jan 24, 2019 9:24 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate
Replies: 16
Views: 5786

Re: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate

I apologize. I just want to know someone who’s had similar experiences as me, who also had long relationships with men without intercourse but I haven’t met anyone like me. In terms of i can’t take it, yes I’m having suicidal thoughts, but also that I can’t stand the environment I’m in anymore. I kn...
by Herstory
Thu Jan 24, 2019 3:41 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate
Replies: 16
Views: 5786

Re: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate

There's really only one person that truly thinks like me. And I feel so alone when I'm not with her because the rest just get me, but don't share my experiences nor my thoughts. I've also never met someone who had my experience where I was with a man for more than a year and NEVER had intercourse. L...
by Herstory
Tue Jan 22, 2019 1:49 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate
Replies: 16
Views: 5786

Re: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate

There is a good LGBT group in my campus, but a lot of them still have heteronormative ideals and thinking... I’ve only met a handful of people who deviate from that and are open minded. This thinking is even pervasive in those group because we were all raised in the same environment (I go to a mostl...
by Herstory
Mon Jan 21, 2019 8:38 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate
Replies: 16
Views: 5786

Re: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate

Well, I’m soon to be graduating from college and I will be applying to get a into a PhD program in Cell Biology far, far away from Florida. So in a year or so, I won’t have to live with them anymore as PhD programs you to go to school and stay in the university I choose. But until then, I have to de...
by Herstory
Mon Jan 21, 2019 4:28 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate
Replies: 16
Views: 5786

Re: Parental Abuse Leading to Harmful Self-Hate

He’s honestly the first therapist I ever had who gets it because he’s LGBT too and he validates ne and makes me feel less alone and knows how heteronormative and sexist and heterosexist society can be.

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