Search found 102 matches

by Kaizen
Sat Jul 25, 2020 1:55 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Mega Crushing on My Best Guy Friend
Replies: 2
Views: 164

Re: Mega Crushing on My Best Guy Friend

I have actually been there-- or very close to there, a couple details don't quite line up but a lot of them do-- and while I obviously don't know about your guy, with my guy the answer was that he truly wanted casual dating/sex/romance. (He did get into an exclusive relationship later that year, but...
by Kaizen
Sun Jun 28, 2020 1:15 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Several months into Covid and social distancing, how is everyone doing?
Replies: 11
Views: 971

Re: Several months into Covid and social distancing, how is everyone doing?

I'm on the other end of things-- it's hard for me to relate to... anyone in almost any other state when New York's new cases/deaths/hospitalizations are so low, and holding steady or dropping. And it's confusing because... I guess I should be mad we've reopened? But it's hard to when everything seem...
by Kaizen
Tue Jun 16, 2020 5:35 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Is sex sadistic?
Replies: 5
Views: 398

Re: Is sex sadistic?

I think a good analogy is emotional reactions like laughing or crying. When I'm around people I don't know well, or don't trust, I usually control my reactions, maybe trying not to laugh at something until I see others laughing, maybe trying not to show how grossed out I am by something so people do...
by Kaizen
Tue Jun 16, 2020 4:11 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How are you staying connected?
Replies: 4
Views: 306

Re: How are you staying connected?

I've been staying in touch much as usual when my family and closest friends live 300 miles away. I have a weekly call with my mom, a monthly call with my grandparents, family group text. I should definitely call my friends soon, come to think of it. It all has a slightly different flavor when before...
by Kaizen
Tue May 26, 2020 5:21 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: Several months into Covid and social distancing, how is everyone doing?
Replies: 11
Views: 971

Re: Several months into Covid and social distancing, how is everyone doing?

I hate masks because they make me feel like I should be afraid for my life (which statistically I shouldn't, and even if I did being afraid wouldn't actually help). But I can't express this because people will take it to mean I don't wear a mask. (Which I do. And stay in my house where I don't have ...
by Kaizen
Wed Jan 22, 2020 6:23 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How does being in love change?
Replies: 21
Views: 1675

Re: How does being in love change?

In addition to what Alexa said, about not being as attracted to people who "need" you around versus "want" you around, I think people who are more confident and secure are less likely to fall for someone because that person hit a basic standard of niceness, or because that person...
by Kaizen
Mon Jan 20, 2020 4:25 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Fictional Crushes Affecting Relationship
Replies: 7
Views: 849

Re: Fictional Crushes Affecting Relationship

Something different stuck out to me than to horriblegoose and Sam. To me the 'type' thing might be a red herring or it might not: sometimes a type is just a common pattern of attraction, and sometimes it's a true need in a partner. (For example, a 'type' which has encompassed every crush I ever had ...
by Kaizen
Mon Sep 17, 2018 1:27 pm
Forum: Bodies
Topic: What influences your hair/shaving habits?
Replies: 9
Views: 6367

Re: What influences your hair/shaving habits?

It's mostly a texture thing for me. I love how smooth my legs feel when they're clean-shaven, and I don't like putting deodorant on a lot of hair. So I always shave under my arms every few days, and I shave my legs pretty much every shower in the summer. (In the winter I shave my legs less, because ...
by Kaizen
Wed Feb 28, 2018 10:32 am
Forum: Sexual Identity
Topic: Ace or Apathetic?
Replies: 10
Views: 4933

Re: Ace or Apathetic?

And an answer that's a little more definite is "I'm not interested in anyone/interested in dating right now". That's true no matter your eventual answer to the question of being asexual. Even people who aren't have times when they don't want to date or don't have a romantic interest in mind.
by Kaizen
Thu Jan 04, 2018 10:39 am
Forum: Sex, Culture and Politics
Topic: Ever Wondered Where a Sex or Dating Thing Came From?
Replies: 7
Views: 5738

Re: Ever Wondered Where a Sex or Dating Thing Came From?

I wonder if "the talking stage" (where people are communicating a lot, often romantically/sexually, and not communicating with others that way, but haven't defined themselves as being in an exclusive relationship) is actually a new thing or just a new term for something that was already ha...
by Kaizen
Mon Dec 04, 2017 11:47 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Ghosting wooooo!
Replies: 3
Views: 1254

Re: Ghosting wooooo!

It does cover a variety of situations, but I don't think that's a bad thing. It just describes the action, after all. "Breaking up" doesn't make a distinction between situations where someone didn't want to put in effort and situations where the relationship wasn't a good fit and situation...
by Kaizen
Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:16 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Breakup because of work
Replies: 14
Views: 2409

Re: Breakup because of work

I'm just going to take one of the questions: what's good about being single in this case is that you are not in a relationship that is making you feel ignored. And not in a relationship with someone who is, as you yourself said, "not the right person for you" because of your different opin...
by Kaizen
Fri Sep 29, 2017 5:10 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Confused about this boy. It's getting to me.
Replies: 4
Views: 1361

Re: Confused about this boy. It's getting to me.

I'd like to cover one thing that Mo didn't: it is not your job, as a girlfriend, to make sure that boyfriends or girlfriends don't cheat on you. If someone cheats on their partner, that is not on their partner for choosing to date them, or not having their passwords, or not being suspicious of their...
by Kaizen
Thu Sep 07, 2017 5:33 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: When did you have your first crush?
Replies: 5
Views: 1365

Re: When did you have your first crush?

I guess I would consider my first crushes the two intense "teacher crushes" I had at middle school age. One was on an actual teacher, and one was on a family friend my family stayed with on vacation, but I refer to both as teacher crushes because they were on people significantly older tha...
by Kaizen
Thu Jun 01, 2017 4:53 pm
Forum: Et Cetera
Topic: Good love songs?
Replies: 22
Views: 12287

Re: Good love songs?

An unusual take on a love song: I just discovered "I'll Take Today" by Gary Allan, and I love it because I think it's the first song I've heard (it might be the first representation I've found in any media!) in which a person talks to his current partner about an old relationship, acknowle...
by Kaizen
Wed Apr 26, 2017 5:33 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How have you met your partners?
Replies: 12
Views: 3631

Re: How have you met your partners?

"First love" (best way I can think of to refer to him; we discussed dating but never officially did) was my lab partner in Chem class in high school. We started talking outside of class when he asked me for homework help. First boyfriend was introduced to me by a friend we had in common. H...
by Kaizen
Tue Mar 21, 2017 4:23 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Sentimental Items
Replies: 11
Views: 2607

Re: Sentimental Items

My boyfriend has given me a couple of stuffed animals, which of course are great for hugging. One is a rabbit because my house at school once discussed our "spirit animals" (what animal fits your personality) and I decided mine was a rabbit. The other is a very realistic elephant. Having s...
by Kaizen
Tue Dec 06, 2016 1:23 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Seeking out a relationship vs. letting it happen organically
Replies: 6
Views: 4211

Re: Seeking out a relationship vs. letting it happen organically

I think the sense in which it "just happens" is... that when you connect with someone, you do actively pursue the relationship, but usually (barring one of you having a lot on your plate at the time, whether that's emotionally, life events, work to do, etc.) it doesn't take a huge amount o...
by Kaizen
Mon Dec 05, 2016 5:19 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Happy, but confused?
Replies: 10
Views: 1609

Re: Happy, but confused?

I would definitely ask him to clarify what his boundaries are, and tell him that you will support him in sticking to them. His behavior so far is ringing some alarm bells for me that he might be trying to set up a situation where if he "ends up" doing something that he/his girlfriend would...
by Kaizen
Wed Nov 23, 2016 10:33 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Am I the only one who doesn't 'get' casual sex?
Replies: 5
Views: 2473

Re: Am I the only one who doesn't 'get' casual sex?

I wouldn't do it either, for much the same reasons you have. But (maybe because I'm a writer), I can imagine something that might be appealing about it: if it's casual, someone might feel better about showing off their "flaws and weirdness and quirks", because if the partner doesn't like i...
by Kaizen
Sat Nov 19, 2016 9:52 am
Forum: Gender
Topic: gender roles
Replies: 5
Views: 4057

Re: gender roles

I really like cooking, and have lots of recipes saved up to start making (and some passed down from my mom). I really look forward to building up a "kitchen", with spices and tools. I somewhat enjoy cleaning; at least, I find it satisfying. I currently work retail, putting merchandise out,...
by Kaizen
Thu Nov 17, 2016 4:13 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: First starting to date
Replies: 5
Views: 2375

Re: First starting to date

I was 19. At 18 I had someone that I would have been interested in dating, but he turned me down. Before that, I wasn't really interested in dating anyone: I had crushes, but I didn't really want to approach the person and ask them on a date, and they weren't people I spent a lot of time with to get...
by Kaizen
Thu Nov 17, 2016 10:35 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Apparently you're in love after four months
Replies: 4
Views: 1115

Re: Apparently you're in love after four months

It's all going to depend on how someone defines their own feelings. Personally, I would say that you can't love a person without actually interacting with them on a fairly close level, but you can definitely have a crush on someone without that interaction. So if I had a crush on someone I couldn't ...
by Kaizen
Mon Oct 17, 2016 8:58 am
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: I feel creeped out
Replies: 17
Views: 4093

Re: I feel creeped out

About email blocking: If you use Gmail, you can set up a rule to automatically delete any email coming from his address. Or (putting this here for anyone who might read this and find this part useful:) set it to "Skip the inbox", mark it as read, and put a particular label on it, so it's s...
by Kaizen
Sun Oct 16, 2016 1:03 pm
Forum: Abuse & Assault
Topic: I feel creeped out
Replies: 17
Views: 4093

Re: I feel creeped out

Note if you decide to change your phone number: You definitely don't have to explain why to everyone. Or anyone. Just announce that you've got a new phone number. If anyone asks why, you can just casually say, "Something came up and I changed it." If they keep asking, then they are making ...

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