Search found 175 matches

by BuddyBoi21
Mon Apr 12, 2021 7:39 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions
Replies: 11
Views: 182

Re: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions

Hey Marisha, When I was in my teens, I felt dating was supposed to be; you're friends first to get to know the person then date them with the intent to marry them. The very old fashioned, heteronormative bs. As I've gotten older I've learned most people don't do that it seems and once I started actu...
by BuddyBoi21
Mon Apr 12, 2021 7:14 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions
Replies: 11
Views: 182

Re: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions

Hey Mo, I will agree on my most recent ex probably saying harmful things that even I didn't realize was harmful until afterward. However, I disagree that this most recent ex wasn't manipulative at all but the one before them was. As for the section on incompatibility, I'm very aware of that and acce...
by BuddyBoi21
Mon Apr 12, 2021 1:28 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions
Replies: 11
Views: 182

Re: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions

Hey Marisha, When I say extremism, in the past I would alternate between trying really hard to hookup at any given chance as though it were a personality trait or I would be too anxious about any sort of remote attraction to anyone and would avoid it at all costs. I feel like I sometimes end up in r...
by BuddyBoi21
Fri Apr 09, 2021 10:04 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions
Replies: 11
Views: 182

Re: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions

Well Sofi, I do have some healthy coping skills. Last time I was playing guitar everytime I felt those sad feelings coming up, working out, seeing my friends when I could and putting myself into my work. I ended up not having an outlet for these feelings and if I did it could only do so much. My old...
by BuddyBoi21
Fri Apr 09, 2021 11:26 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions
Replies: 11
Views: 182

Re: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions

Hi Sofi, Thank you for your response! It's been tough to reach out to friends and chosen family given the pandemic keeping everyone separated. I've also decided to take a break from social media for a while. As for managing my feelings, the loneliness is the hardest part. I remember before this most...
by BuddyBoi21
Fri Apr 09, 2021 6:01 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions
Replies: 11
Views: 182

Another Ex and a lot of mixed emotions

So my now very new ex and I broke up. I broke up with them because our circumstances became far too much for me. Between their parents being racist and anti-LGBTQ+ and living over an hour away with different work schedules that drove us further and further apart I finally said I couldn't do it anymo...
by BuddyBoi21
Sat Jan 02, 2021 8:07 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: I'm happy he's gone
Replies: 1
Views: 500

I'm happy he's gone

This is going to be extremely straightforward. My dad died last week and I'm okay with it. We had a terrible relationship before he died and the only thing I really grieved was not being able to have that healthy father-child relationship. Am I the only person who has felt a sense of relief/happines...
by BuddyBoi21
Thu Dec 24, 2020 6:52 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Sexual outlets
Replies: 23
Views: 3435

Re: Sexual outlets

Hey everyone, Mo I did talk to my partner about this and they still don't consider therapy a priority right now. We've been having much more productive conversations about quality time and trying to sexually explore while everything sucks. They're more open to car sex and I guess I've gotten used to...
by BuddyBoi21
Tue Nov 24, 2020 4:20 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Sexual outlets
Replies: 23
Views: 3435

Re: Sexual outlets

Yeah, I can see where you're coming from on that. From my end I feel it would make things worse and I think I'd cope in an unhealthy manner (isolating and doing nothing but work to avoid assessing the feelings regarding breaking up and overall going back to being single and avoiding dating). Like su...
by BuddyBoi21
Tue Nov 24, 2020 1:14 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Sexual outlets
Replies: 23
Views: 3435

Re: Sexual outlets

Hi Sofi, So my partner and I, in both past and recent discussions, have established that relationship remain monogamous. The primary reasons why are because we both want to try and resolve any issues within the relationship before involving anyone else. They aren't dismissive at all. We've just come...
by BuddyBoi21
Mon Nov 23, 2020 10:11 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Sexual outlets
Replies: 23
Views: 3435

Re: Sexual outlets

Hi Alexa, I just want to specify this is primarily a Me issue with feeling as though I can't say things to my partner. I have said things in the beginning of our relationship that have triggered their own trauma or have simply worded things horribly that have upset them before. I don't feel like I'm...
by BuddyBoi21
Sat Nov 21, 2020 4:02 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Sexual outlets
Replies: 23
Views: 3435

Re: Sexual outlets

Hey Siân, So my partner started their new job recently and I'll be working more so we fell into a routine of calling each other when our schedules allow it and we talk about work or how our days went. I've been stressed because of the start of the holiday season which means more hours at my job. Plu...
by BuddyBoi21
Fri Nov 13, 2020 10:58 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Sexual outlets
Replies: 23
Views: 3435

Re: Sexual outlets

Hi Siân, So yes, all of this makes sense and I highly agree! After reaching out to broader suppirt group to vent more about this and allowing myself to be more vulnerable in regards to these feelings, I've come to gather a few things. 1. Obviously mine and my partner's sex drives are both influenced...
by BuddyBoi21
Thu Nov 12, 2020 2:23 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Sexual outlets
Replies: 23
Views: 3435

Re: Sexual outlets

A quick update: So we did work something out but I have a problem. I want more sex and I guess I accepted or internalized along the progression of our relationship that I can't get enough of the sex I want from my partner. We agreed to trying to schedule sexting, something I thought wasn't even poss...
by BuddyBoi21
Thu Nov 12, 2020 12:04 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Sexual outlets
Replies: 23
Views: 3435

Re: Sexual outlets

Hi Mo, Yes they do. They let me know that they're stressed and that unfortunately the primary things keeping them from being interested in sex (like their brain says yes but their body says no or they're simply too stressed altogether to even think about sex) are all out of either one of our control...
by BuddyBoi21
Tue Nov 10, 2020 4:21 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Sexual outlets
Replies: 23
Views: 3435

Re: Sexual outlets

Hi Sofi, So you were very right for me to check in with my partner on the chat rooms and such. They weren't comfortable with the idea because I was talking about interacting with accounts from friends/people I knew. Their headspace in response was a very cisheteronormative "I'm a prude so my 'b...
by BuddyBoi21
Thu Nov 05, 2020 2:12 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Sexual outlets
Replies: 23
Views: 3435

Re: Sexual outlets

Hey Sofi, I'm open to it for sure! I don't think my partner would mind but I will definitely check in with them. As for my partner's boundaries I have been. I do talk to them about how our sexual needs clash though because aside from enjoying sexual pleasure it's one of the many physical ways I like...
by BuddyBoi21
Wed Nov 04, 2020 12:09 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Sexual outlets
Replies: 23
Views: 3435

Re: Sexual outlets

Hi Sofi! I really appreciate the input here a lot and appreciate the support about how I feel with everything going on right now. My partner and I have been keeping an open line about how I've been feeling in terms of how to go about that validation. I'm very aware of the porn industry's "main&...
by BuddyBoi21
Tue Nov 03, 2020 12:52 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: Sexual outlets
Replies: 23
Views: 3435

Sexual outlets

Hey all, Everything is dumpster fire but lets talk about sexy stuff! I need help with two main things: 1. Does anyone know any dom terms in the nurturing side of dominance that can substitue "Daddy"? 2. Do you have any good outlets for masturbation aside from porn? Like maybe adult video g...
by BuddyBoi21
Sat Oct 31, 2020 10:19 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: What gets me off makes me nervous
Replies: 5
Views: 833

Re: What gets me off makes me nervous

Hey Siân,

Thank you for reassuring this for me!
I really appreciate y'alls help and I hope y'all are taking care of yourselves <3
by BuddyBoi21
Thu Oct 22, 2020 10:10 pm
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: What gets me off makes me nervous
Replies: 5
Views: 833

Re: What gets me off makes me nervous

Hey Heather, I guess I lean toward no to answer your first question. I sometimes think about peoples' theories on why we may or may not be kinky in some way. And again, the kinkshaming for this particular kink definitely doesn't help me at all. As for my sex life I think I wanna work on talking to m...
by BuddyBoi21
Wed Oct 21, 2020 10:01 am
Forum: Sex & Sexuality
Topic: What gets me off makes me nervous
Replies: 5
Views: 833

What gets me off makes me nervous

Alright folks! So I made a great discovery that I was hoping wouldn't be true for a long time...I think I have a light CGL kink. I was masturbating earlier and thought about my partner moaning a lot and acting very submissive while calling me a specific title during sex. I came REALLY hard in respon...
by BuddyBoi21
Tue Oct 20, 2020 9:41 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: When you and your parent are different people
Replies: 10
Views: 2400

Re: When you and your parent are different people

Hey y'all, So I have some updates: I found out that if I buckle down I really will graduate college in Fall of 2021! The "bad" news is that being a full time student again means I'll be at home longer than I would like. I've been managing as best as I can at home. I now eat in my room and ...
by BuddyBoi21
Tue Oct 20, 2020 9:27 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Validation of Trauma and Intuition
Replies: 6
Views: 1002

Re: Validation of Trauma and Intuition

Hey you two! I just wanted to let y'all know that both of your words have been greatly appreciated. Just to update, my therapy appointment went well and I'm currently trying to delve more into my relationships with my parents, their actions and boundaries. I'll put more in another post I made talkin...
by BuddyBoi21
Fri Oct 16, 2020 10:58 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Validation of Trauma and Intuition
Replies: 6
Views: 1002

Re: Validation of Trauma and Intuition

Hey Siân, I'm definitely going to discuss this in mt next therapy appointment. My therapist is aware of how awful my situation with my father was leading up to hin finally being removed from our home with how sick he was getting. We're all literally waiting for him to die at this point. I cut him of...

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