Search found 85 matches

by Herstory
Thu Nov 28, 2019 5:40 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: How to know you’re in a healthy relationship
Replies: 2
Views: 1057

How to know you’re in a healthy relationship

Hello, So if you’ve read my previous posts, you know that I’ve been involved with very abusive partners and have a pattern of engaging with people who do not respect me. Because I don’t really know what a healthy relationship is like, I was wondering if anyone could provide me some insight as to wha...
by Herstory
Mon Nov 18, 2019 1:20 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

Something I just can’t comprehend is why he wanted to be monogamous if he was going to have other partners anyway? Why would he keep me from being polyamorous when he wanted other partners too? Why would he lie to me all this time about wanting to be committed only to me when he was lying about havi...
by Herstory
Wed Nov 13, 2019 9:12 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

I feel like I can’t function normally. I keep thinking about the trauma and abuse over and over again and it’s like it doesn’t leave me mind. I need to do homework, but I can’t concentrate on it. I’m scared to go out. I can’t hang out or talk to people without fearing my life and safety. I feel so t...
by Herstory
Mon Nov 11, 2019 8:33 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

I am going to start working on my art again. I feel like I lost myself to the point where I forgot who I was so I’m going to do the things I remember I love doing like drawing and writing music.
by Herstory
Sat Nov 09, 2019 9:58 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

I have, but it’s so hard not to think of everything. He lied to me about literally everything, including having cancer. I feel so stupid and lost. I feel so helpless and worthless. I don’t know what to do with myself... I’m trying my best to be with people I love, doing things I love, but I find it ...
by Herstory
Fri Nov 08, 2019 7:14 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

I already filed a no contact report. Next step is restraining order. I’m taking steps to do this.
by Herstory
Fri Nov 08, 2019 3:38 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

I just feel so disillusioned. And I realized he abused me more than just emotionally... I’m in complete shock and feel so traumatized. I currently went to therapy so I’m taking the first steps. But I just want to know what to do... I feel so empty and broken and I feel like this is my fault.
by Herstory
Thu Nov 07, 2019 6:03 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

So it turns out my partner was cheating on me this entire time. And he never told me about his other partner at all and we were having unprotected sex, which means I may have an STD so the first chance I get, I’m going to get tested. Thanks for all the support you provided through this time. I’m don...
by Herstory
Wed Nov 06, 2019 7:29 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

Also, in regards to the happiness question, I honestly don’t feel happy at all because I’m going through a major depression. So I’m not only not happy with him, but not happy with my family and friends in general. I’m not in a very good state of mind. The last time I was truly happy with anyone and ...
by Herstory
Wed Nov 06, 2019 7:24 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

I am still with him because I love him very much and I think he’s trying his best to be understanding of me with the past that he’s had. I would very much appreciate references to therapists who are queer and polyam friendly. My partner does not like therapy because he says he doesn’t like to be psy...
by Herstory
Sun Nov 03, 2019 1:58 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

Hi! So things have gotten a lot better since the last time. My partner and I resolved the issues from the summer, but now we’ve hit another dilemma: we both don’t really agree how to have a poly relationship. I want to have a relationship of open communication and honesty, where we talk each other a...
by Herstory
Fri Sep 27, 2019 5:37 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

We've finally got to a point where we can talk in a healthy way to one another, but I just feel so angry and resentful towards him and I don't know why. He realized how unhealthy he was acting towards me and has stopped and we've been able to have meaningful and productive conversations about our fe...
by Herstory
Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:39 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

He also says that a lot of his behavior this summer was because he was going through chemotherapy, radiation, and surgery and he wasn’t in a good mood with everyone.
by Herstory
Fri Sep 20, 2019 7:24 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

I just remembered, but another thing he’s done is talk a lot about people who “want him”. Like, he’s constantly telling me about how he has so many people who want to be with him and always telling me about the people who want him. It makes me feel uncomfortable for a reason I can’t explain. I told ...
by Herstory
Thu Sep 19, 2019 5:34 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

Since the incident, I haven't had any other partners. My personal definition of cheating is having relations with other people without your partners' consent, so I do not plan on having any other partner's until this is resolved because my partner and I don't have clear, established boundaries or co...
by Herstory
Thu Sep 19, 2019 1:28 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

We talked about how I felt about him saying the things he did about what happened in the summer. I told him I didn’t feel comfortable with the way he reacted to the situation and that I wanted to have a productive conversation where we both talk about what happened without judgement, but also withou...
by Herstory
Thu Sep 19, 2019 8:07 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

Hey. So we’re doing a lot better now. But I feel like it’s too better... I’m not sure if that makes sense. So after we talked things out he just completely changed his demeanor and is now acting like nothing ever happened in the summer. I mean, it’s good that he moved on, but I thought it would be a...
by Herstory
Thu Sep 19, 2019 8:04 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Mixed Feelings About Friend
Replies: 5
Views: 2348

Re: Mixed Feelings About Friend

Honestly, I don’t really know. But we moved out recently and we’re not living together anymore so at least I don’t have to confront it everyday anymore.
by Herstory
Thu Sep 05, 2019 8:16 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Mixed Feelings About Friend
Replies: 5
Views: 2348

Re: Mixed Feelings About Friend

Mostly about her cheating. She wanted advice on what to do so we didn’t focus on my feelings that much. I gave her the best advice I could.
by Herstory
Wed Sep 04, 2019 9:35 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Mixed Feelings About Friend
Replies: 5
Views: 2348

Mixed Feelings About Friend

I feel I have unresolved feelings over a situation that happened this summer. So this summer while my partner and I were polyamorous, I met this guy at a bar that I liked and wanted to be partners with. But then I got way too drunk and ended up blacking out that night. The next morning, I found out ...
by Herstory
Wed Sep 04, 2019 9:22 pm
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

So I talked to him again and he seems a lot more calm and open to discussing everything with me and agreed that he will stop projecting these negative feelings onto me. We will be going to therapy soon to resolve the issues we have concerning communication and boundaries. Thank you for all your help...
by Herstory
Sun Aug 25, 2019 9:52 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Re: Poly Relationship Turned Awry

I have tried to talk to him about him approaching it in a healthier way that doesn't make it seem like I was trying to purposely hurt him, but he says he can't help what he feels and says he will always feel like I cheated on him, no matter what I say or do. He also says he won't be able to trust me...
by Herstory
Sun Aug 25, 2019 7:25 am
Forum: Relationships
Topic: Poly Relationship Turned Awry
Replies: 41
Views: 6140

Poly Relationship Turned Awry

So my partner and I are both polyamorous and we established boundaries and talked a lot about what a poly relationship for us both would look like. He preferred us both to have partners together whereas I liked to have my own partners that aren’t necessarily involved with him. He was okay with that ...
by Herstory
Wed Apr 17, 2019 7:13 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: How to cope with an expected death of a partner
Replies: 8
Views: 5712

Re: How to cope with an expected death of a partner

Definitely. We try to communicate as much as possible. And so far, we’ve had a very beautiful, loving, and deep relationship. He agreed to take me to come with him to see his doctor next week and we’re also trying to not bring his illness up when we see each other unless it’s vital to talk about. We...
by Herstory
Sat Apr 13, 2019 10:45 pm
Forum: Supporting Each Other
Topic: How to cope with an expected death of a partner
Replies: 8
Views: 5712

Re: How to cope with an expected death of a partner

He just wants to be with me. He wants to go on dates with me, have conversations with me, dance with me, just do everything he can with me. We have a bucket list of things to do together and the list keeps growing. He wants our relationship to be as normal as it can be given the circumstances. He do...

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